Teenagers actually did invent sex - in 1906 say historians

Historians working for the Nuffield Institute for Health have discovered that teenagers actually did invent sex.  Their studies have also pinpointed the date for this radical innovation as sometime in the spring of 1906. 

The Nuffield Institute for Health commissioned Professor Pradeep Singh and his team from the University of Newcastle to carry out the investigation as part of a wider study into how attitudes to sex and sexuality have evolved since recorded history began. 

Professor Singh’s team spent months studying contemporary documentation, literature and oral traditions before making their startling discovery.  ‘We discovered that prior to 1906, the human race reproduced by a variety on non-penetrative methods – ranging from sleeping under a gooseberry bush at full moon, kissing when leaning against a maypole or holding hands after dark whilst unchaperoned – the process depending upon one’s social and economic standing.’

‘Then suddenly we began to find evidence of an explosion of sexual activity amongst young people.’ he reported.  ‘In every piece of documentation we found references to teenagers, shall we say, at it like rabbits.’ What Professor Singh had stumbled upon was concrete evidence that, sometime during the spring of 1906, a young couple had discovered, as he put it in his findings ‘that piece A slotted into groove B – and after a bit of experimentation one or two other places as well.’

The race is now on to identify this trailblazing couple and perhaps trace their descendants, and Professor Singh is keen to be at the forefront of this search.  ‘To successfully locate the progeny of these sexual pioneers would be a dream come true.  I’d just love to show them the evidence and ask them how proud they felt to know that their great, great grandparents really were a couple of little f*ckers.’ 

(Written 11 Mar 2009)

What Would a Follower of Christ Watch?

First off I’d like to address the title of this journal entry. In very few ways to I believe that I have truly addressed the topic of “What Would a Follower of Christ Watch?”. I believe to address it as if there could be some sort of “do and do not” watch list, would be to reduce God to something stagnant and written. What should and should not be watched is much more personal than I could possibly address below. It has to do with the relationship that each of us might have with the God that gave Jesus for the sacrifice of our sins. Without further ado however, I present the below.

I had originally started to put this together for a movie night for a group of teens. They wanted me to get this movie list to them a lot quicker than this. However with such a short time left I know that they will not be able to use my recommendations now. So, my primary purpose for composing this is more for reflection and prayer. Most of them will not get to see this until ‘after’ the JCF get together.

 

JCF Movie List The following movies were put together by the JCF. As I looked over the list and thought of the titles of the movies, I wondered what each of them “stood for”. I didn’t know the answer to the question however. I also didn’t know whether Christ was in front of every decision that each of them made when selecting the movies. In other words did each of them ask theirself “In reflecting on how much God loves me and the life that Jesus has given for me, what kind of things does God want me to listen to and watch? What kinds of things does God want me to be exposed to so I will become the kind of son or daughter that God wants me to be.”. Check out this resource.
How to use the review below You can click on each of the movie title names in order to see a review that I looked at. Facing the Giants I think this movie looks pretty good. Though I do think the sentiment described in this link is something that should be considered while watching it. Oh, and here is the quote from the previous link “Troubled by it: This response comes, surprisingly enough, from Christians who feel the message of the film is that no matter how bad your problems are, if you turn them over to God, every single problem will come out with the happy ending for which you pray. You’ll get a raise. Someone will replace your old car. Your team will win. Your infertile marriage will be blessed with (multiple) children. Get a grip, they say. God doesn’t work this way.” High School Musical (HSM 3) From what I read about it I like it. Twilight I didn’t think the violence and sensuality were things that any of us (including myself) needed to fill ourselves up with. UP Looks like Fun Hannah Montana (The movie) Not crazy about this movie because of the “worldy” things that it teaches us to admire. I haven’t seen this movie, I’ve only looked at the reviews so I could be wrong. But if I ever watch a movie and I see people get excited because someone has the “cool stuff” or the “cool life” then I immediately think to myself that Jesus and his disciples were the only ones that had the ‘real’ cool life. Kimmy Dora My first impression of this movie was that it was funny and relatively harmless. I’ll spare the reader of some of my more personal convictions regarding the life we should live motivated by Christ. I’ll leave those for another time. YaYa & Angelina I think in “modern society” that are a lot of things that we find amusing that God (in His wisdom) does not want us to find amusing. And if we have the heart of God, if we love the same things that He loves and hate the same things that He hates, then  rebellion will be one of these things. In Rom 1:30-32 we can read how those that are insolent and/or disobey their parents are on equal terms with those that are faithless, heartless, and ruthless. … Do we show that we approve of these kinds of things by our laughter? Clover Field In the first review that I saw I didn’t see anything in the description that seemed too far off base. However I heard Gilbeys mention that there was too much gore in this movie. And since I hadn’t watched it I decided I would trust Gilbeys’ assessment on this. Better to lean on the side of caution. But then I saw this review and a youtube video. And I have to say that the intensity of this film is something that I personally don’t want lurking around in my heart. “Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life.” – Proverbs 4:23 Death Note 1,2,3 This is a movie about a deranged serial killer and how he tries to take over the world. Is there anything admirable there? “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Philippians 4:8
I am Legend Hopefully I’ll have time to flesh my thoughts out on this one some day. But in short there are a couple of scenes in here that are just a bit too intense and graphic (I don’t even want them “in my head”). If I had an entire day to import the movie into a fast multimedia editing computer I could take out the parts and the story would be completely in tact. My First Romance
I will have to review this later. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants One of the excerpts that I read of this movie said “Bridget, the soccer player, does manage to seduce the coach, and though he resists at first, finally gives in to his sexy, young pursuer. Afterwards, though, Bridget is devastated and depressed, and she tells her friends that premarital sex left her feeling incomplete, rather than healed.” This is actually one of the problems of movies that are marketed as wholesome or even worse marketed as “christian”. The idea of avoiding premarital sex ‘because’ it leaves you feeling incomplete is totally not something that Christ taught. … If the motivation for living a Godly life isn’t ‘because’ you understand the love that God has given you by the pouring out of the life of his son Jesus, then it is ‘not’ “Christian”. Resources you can use in the future
*to help you decide what movies you can both enjoy and ’should’ watch. http://www.crosswalk.com/movies/ http://www.crosswalk.com/movies/archives/ http://blog.beliefnet.com/moviemom/ http://www.christiancolleges.com/blog/2009/100-all-time-best-movies-for-christians/ http://www.christiankindred.com/2009/06/how-does-a-christian-decide-which-movies-to-watch/ http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Movies/2008/09/Top-20-Inspirational-Sports-Movies.aspx Read more >> Options >>

Television

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Midnight Plowboy (1971)

 

 

Cow-lovin’ country boy Junior decides to see the big city sights of Hollywood despite having the IQ of a feeding trough. Mistaking a brothel for a boarding house, our midnight plowboy is soon driving a whorehouse on wheels, outsmarting a rival pimp, and falling in love with the beguiling Debbie Osborne. It’s a barnyard blast when these country hicks meet city chicks

Lang: English

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rapidshare.com

1. http://rapidshare.com/files/106277105/Midnight_Plowboy.avi.001
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Genre:

Comedy

• House
• Van
• Prostitute
• Sex
• Male Female Relationship
• Underwear
• Pubic Hair
• Cunnilingus
• Desire
• Backseat
• Prostitution
• Female Rear Nudity
• Car
• Grindhouse
• Foolishness
• Brothel
• Erotica
• Yacht
• Female Nudity
• Dress
• Sexploitation
• Redhead
• Hippie
• Sex Orgy
• Sex In Car
• Sex Outside
• Nipples
• Bed
• Cult Comedy
• Brassiere
• Bra
• Attraction
• Stripping
• Sexual Attraction
• Breasts
• Brunette
• Stupidity
• Bedroom
• Blanket
• Panties
• Vagina
• Oral Sex
• Licking
• Sex Comedy
• Mobster
• Sensuality
• Interracial Sex
• Nudity
• Road
• Blonde
• Male Nudity
• Black Woman
• Living Room
• Psychotronic
• Room
• Brothel Madame
• Male Frontal Nudity
• Orgy
• Cult Favorite
• Sexual Desire
• Outdoor Sex
• Female Frontal Nudity
• Erotic 70s
• Bikini
• Shirt
• Fellatio
• Fondling
• Blow Job
• Leg Spreading

 

 

whaddya do when HE withholds sex?

I gotta tell ya, I haven’t met many guys who do this. In fact, try as I might, I can only think of one. Well…one that I was actually have sex with. Now, I can name 2. Only this second one isn’t my lover (praise the gods!); he’s just someone I know who tells me his junk. Much to my dismay. I know. I could tell him to NOT share this stuff. But the deal is I know he’s got nobody else to tell it to and I feel bad for the guy. He’s such a miserable dude and seems to have no clue as to why he’s so miserable. Ya’d think that by his age (mid-50s) he’d know a few things about himself. I guess there’s just no tellin’ about some people, huh?

So yea. I listen to him talk about his junk and he shares wayyyyy too much information sometimes. Depending on the mood I happen to be in, I’ll either take it all in stride or wait patiently as he ’shares’ (actually, “whine” is much more appropriate. You’d think the guy was a little girl the way he whines), while I silently chant a mantra in my head so as not to shoot him. Mostly the latter.

More recently he’s been bragging about how he’s witholding sex from this much younger chiquita who he says makes him want to eat cyanide. Why he continues to see her is beyond me. Every time he does, he spends the next 3 days bitchin’ about how she makes him nutso and all the reasons why. To which I continue to ask: “Well then, why do you keep seeing her?”

Of course he has no real answer. Or if he does, he doesn’t share that part. I know why he does it. But he seems to be in complete denial (and utter fantasy) about the whole twisted relationship. He keeps going over there and then complaining about how awful it is when he’s with her. So his latest thing is that he’s withholding sex; and taking great pleasure in this. Now, first thing that strikes me as retardo is that the only reason he started up with this gal was to get laid. Period. Or so he says. And for whatever twisted reasons of her own, she actually participates. I dunno. Maybe they’re both in the same ’space’ right now. Whatever. She’s doin’ the deed whenever he wants. Except that now he seems to think that this withholding thing is giving him some kind of edge. He goes on and on about how she wants to and he won’t and now she’s calling him a zillion times a day. Which, he says, drives him even more nuts cuz he can’t stand the sound of her voice. My God! What is wrong with this man?

So I got to thinking about that period of my life when my lover did this to me. It was a long time ago, so I had to really do some research. Which is to say, I broke out the old journals to see how I was feeling about it while it was happening. And what I did about it to find some resolution. And how that all worked for me.

Turns out, it didn’t. Turns out he was withholding from me because he was getting it elsewhere. He was doing that because he was pissed at me. He figured it was the best way to get back at me for whatever it was I was doing (I still have no idea. He never did tell me why). Because I was so sexually ‘charged’, he knew it would make me crazy and he was right. It did. For a while. My attention span isn’t that big (or is that ‘long’) so it didn’t take long before I got bored with the whole game and just decided to cut him loose. It wasn’t about the sex. It was about the game. I got tired of playing. I got totally bored. I figured out that this was going nowhere. Ta-ta, Mr. Man. Gotta go. SeeYa Bye.

That was my answer to the witholding thing. Now I’m listening to this other bonehead and wondering what his motivations are and why she’s putting up with it. I’m also wondering why I even give a rip. (this is the biggest part of my wondering, which is why I’m puttin’ it out there…so I can cut it loose and STOP with all this stupid crap.) I gotta believe that people do this, both guys and gals, because of some power trip. Based on this theory, then it stands to reason that they think sex is the only source of power they have. The fact that they even need to exercise power in a relationship is even more disturbing, doncha think? What IS that?

Whaddya think? Got a story? Want to share it?

Oh boy. Doesn’t that sound fun?

An Open Letter Regarding Being A Girl

Dear Male Species,

PMS is real! Every month, before our cycle actually begins, us ladies experience PRE-Menstrual Syndrome*.. it may be 2 days before.. or it may be 2 weeks before.. but trust me, it exists..

We get cravings for foods just like pregnant women do.. stuff we haven’t eaten in years like stuffed shells and fresh garlic bread are suddenly the only thing we can think about.. We can and will eat anything we can get our hands on.. Why!? Our metabolism speeds up during this time, so we take advantage of it..

We DO have mood swings.. one minute we will be cool as cucumber in ranch dressing and the next minute we are going off because you sprayed too much Drakkar Noir.. we aren’t mad for no reason yes we are our hormones are just on overdrive.. we usually don’t understand where these mood swings come from.. YES.. they take us by as much surprise as they take you.. why does this happen!? Because our hormones are battling inside or something scientific like that (hey, I’m not WebMD buddy!)

We cry and don’t know why.. seriously.. when we bust out crying because we ran out of orange juice.. it’s real.. we are upset.. but we don’t know why we are THAT upset.. so when you say “boo, why you cryin?” and we say “I DON’T KNOW”.. wipe that stupid look off your face, wrap your arms around us and rub our damn backs until we stop.. is that so hard!?

We HATE it when you dismiss our emotional issues as “you just on yo period” or “you just PMS’in” NEGRO IS YOU CRAZY!??! DO NOT EVER SAY THIS TO A WOMAN!! You are devaluing and negating her very real emotions and upsetting her already retarded hormonal balance.. Just because the hormones makes a woman cry at the drop of a hat does not mean that her emotions should be brushed off.. DO NOT SAY THIS EVER AGAIN..

We don’t know how to control ANYTHING!! Don’t ask me any questions, do not try to get me to make decisions, hell just leave me ALONE!! PMS and the cycle are devastating weeks in a woman’s life.. we feel fat, we have cramps, we break out, we eat everything, we are emotional and then you wanna pop in talkin about “what you want for dinner”?! TAKE YO ASS IN THE KITCHEN AND COOK SOMETHING..

We really want to have sex.. it is probably because the point of the cycle is to get preggo at some point.. so when that time of the month comes around we want to have sex.. and we want it BAD.. if you deny.. prepare to be denied once the cycle ends in 2 weeks..

Lastly, we expect you to succumb to our EVERY wish.. Yes, I want you to go to the grocery store and pick me up a can of cinnamon rolls.. the kind with Cinnabon frosting.. Yes, I will be upset if they don’t have Cinnabon frosting because that is what I had a taste for all day.. Why do I want you to go to the store for me? Because I just do.. Yes, I would appreciate you bringing me midol because if I move these cramps will take over.. and if I have to get up.. it will be hell for you the rest of this week..

Fellas, do you understand?! Okay, let me reiterate.. PMS IS REAL, DON’T F WITH US, DO WHAT WE SAY AND YOU’LL GET SOME NEXT WEEK.

Sincerely,

m. lauren – Not PMS’ing but don’t try me anyway..

p.s. we don’t ask you to buy us tampons because we really want you to because you probably won’t get the right ones, we just want to see if you will do it.. okay I actually want you to

*these are generalizations mostly based off of myself and friends..

Other things men don’t freakin understand.. here

Peep Show author interview with Jennifer Peters

Jennifer Peters

How did you come up with the idea for your story, “People in Glass Hotels,” in Peep Show?

Like my main character in “People in Glass Hotels,” I got the idea by watching Samantha Brown’s Passport to Europe on The Travel Channel. I was planning a trip to Germany—which I have yet to take—and the host of the show was visiting Berlin. The hotel she stayed in, the Velvet Hotel, had floor-to-ceiling windows, and the first thing I thought when I saw it was, “Wow, that’s an exhibitionist’s dream!”

Did the story change as you were writing it from your original conception of it?

Aside from the hotel, I didn’t really have a vision for the story beforehand. When I sat down to write it, I just started typing and let it go wherever it needed. By the time I reached the end, the only thing I knew had happened was that my couple had had sex in the hotel window; I had to go back and read it to find out the finer details of the story.

What’s your favorite line or paragraph from your story?

“Other times, I’d sit down at the computer with my vibrator and let it buzz deep inside my aching cunt while I looked at the hotel’s website, the exterior photos exciting me more than any of the real porn my husband liked to bring home.”

Is your Peep Show story similar to or different from your usual erotic writing style?

Since I spend most of my time writing and editing for adult magazines, my story for Peep Show was much less porny than my usual style.

What do you think is sexy about exhibitionism and/or voyeurism?

There’s something innately erotic about watching and being watched. Not just during intimate moments, but during even the most mundane minutes. Having someone look on as you eat lunch, read a book, pay for a purchase, it makes you wonder what they’re thinking and if those thoughts are dirty. And as the watcher, it’s easy to find ways to eroticize your subject’s every move. Especially if you don’t know the person, it’s exciting to imagine them in a new situation—or have them imagining you in that same position.

If you care to answer, are you more of a voyeur, exhibitionist, or neither? Do you think there’s something inherently exhibitionistic about writing, especially writing erotica?

I’m definitely more of a voyeur, but not just in the erotic sense; I’m a big fan of people-watching, and I love trying to guess who people are, what they do, where they’re going.

Writing erotica can be exhibitionistic if you let it, but for the most part my writing is entirely fictional—or based on someone else—so it doesn’t feel like exhibitionism. But on the occasion that there is a tinge of truth in my stories, I do feel incredibly exposed and can’t help looking around wondering if my editors know that a part of me is in the piece.

What are you working on next?

Most of my writing time is devoted to the family of Penthouse magazines and websites, where I’ve been for almost four years. Outside of that, I have no idea what’s going to happen next.

Hear Jennifer Peters read from “People in Glass Hotels” on Thursday, November 19th, 8-10 pm at In The Flesh Reading Series, Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, NYC. Free, 21+, with 300 free cupcakes, click here for full details.

Below is an excerpt from “People in Glass Hotels” by Jennifer Peters. To read the whole story, check out Peep Show: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists. Read excerpts from all 18 stories in Peep Show by clicking here.

Felix made the next move, and before I could look away from the glass, he’d pushed me up against it. My breasts were flattened against the cool, smooth surface, and when I looked down, I could see several people looking back up at meæor at least I told myself they were all looking at me; it was hard to tell which window had captured their attention, and I was a bit distracted. I sighed as I stared down at them, and then Felix was pressing his body against mine, his stiff dick nestling between my asscheeks as he kissed my neck and ran his hands up and down my body, eventually wrapping his arms around me and letting his hands wander down toward my pussy. When a finger brushed my wet pussy lips, I moaned and pressed my forehead against the window, my eyes closed tight. When I opened them, however, there were still people staring up at me. And this time I was sure it was me they were watching, because the handful of people from a minute earlier were still there and were now joined by others, some of them pointing up at the window.

“They’re watching us,” I breathlessly told Felix, and he mumbled something in my ear that sounded a lot like, “No, they’re watching you,” though his voice was so rough with passion that it was hard to make out his exact words.

Pentru ca suntem fara vlaga, nu ne platim impozitele

Ma intrebam zilele trecute, cum se intampla de Irinel Columbeanu nu are bani de platit impozitele, dar am mi-am dat seama cand am aflat cat costa o pastila Viagra (114,50 de lei), pastila care ajunge pentru un singur contact sexual; trist nu ? Sa presupunem ca impreuna cu partenera lui are un contact sexual pe zi,  asta ar insemna 34.350.000 pe luna; acum ne gandim cam de cand sunt cei doi impreuna Irinel si Monica, pff… e ceva, nu e de mirare ca nu are cu ce sa isi plateasca impozitele. Sa presupunem ca are un furnizor personal,  sa zicem 30 de milioane si tot e ceva. Dar poate nu are nevoie. se gaseste vreunu/a sa spuna… stiu si eu…

Changing YA to Adult = more sexcription

So…been doing some research reading on how far to push the sex scenes since I decided to amp my once young adult paranormal romance book up to the adult paranormal romance. Actually I was told that since my main character is nineteen that moves it out of young adult. Still makes absolutely no sense to me, but (shrugs shoulders and rolls eyes) whatever!

Well, holy shit, I’m reading a paranormal romance put out by Avon books. I definitely had a different idea of that brand name.  Avon = sweet innocence…yeah not so much. I have a few more books to read but I have a feeling they are all going to be the same.

So…again I have to go back and change the book er, certain scenes.  Amp them up, make them looonnnger, more descriptive, fuck the inuendos and let it all hang out. How am I doing so far. It’s all about sexcription. Yep, my new word of the day or maybe of the year. 

Maybe I should go write a fan fict piece to get in some practice. Some of the fan fict I’ve read is, for lack of a better word, smut. Definitely interesting but still smut writing…hehehe.

California Taboo (1989)

Super busty newcomer Cristen Carson makes her blue debut as a girl who just cannot keep her hands off herself in CALIFORNIA TABOO.* Fortunately, she enlists some erotic relief from Joey Silvera and company when her own fantasies are just not enough.

Cast:* Nina Hartley, Shanna McCullough, Jeanna Fine, Breezy Lane, Christen Carson, Lacy Southern, Joey Silvera, Don Fernando, Ron Jeremy

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

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Genre: Adult more

• Sex
• Hardcore
• Blow Job
• Breast Sex
• Cumshot
• Explicit Sex
• Female Masturbation
• from behind
• Lesbian
• Lesbian Sex
• Oral Sex
• Penetration
• Pussy
• Threesome
• Uncencored
• Vaginal Sex
• Penis

Self-accepting sensual masturbation

One of my issuses with the fashion and beauty industries is that they encourage us, particularly as women, to be self-deprecating. To be painfully aware of our flaws and to be willing to spend lots of money “fixing ourselves up”. Out of desperation? Well, if that’s the case, that’s okay… but it seems many of us just take it for granted that we have to strive to constantly look better. And it’s so big, so pervasive, so seductively delivered, that we don’t even realize that it’s all an expensive ”put down” to who we are, naturally!

Do you really know what you look like? 360 degrees, top to bottom? Do you ever really look? Or touch… feel? Personally, these days I’m carrying some extra weight so I avoid looking. I figure I’ll start looking more closely again when I lose it… when I get “better”. What if I don’t? Can I just ignore my own body for the rest of my life? It’s not going to get “better”… according the the natural laws of aging and the belief that beauty and youth are synonymous and mutually exclusive traits.

This drawing is from a series of self-portraits I took alone in my room with a digital camera several years ago when I was struggling with bulimia and rather debilitating self-doubt and self-hate. It’s funny to me now how awful I thought I looked then, because I have moved on to heal some of these issues and continue to work on others. My vision and perspective have changed, and now I can see the beauty in this image. Before I was too busy criticizing the imperfections; I couldn’t see the positives. This is a great illustration of one of my favourite quotes from Anaïs Nin:  “We don’t see things the way they are; we see them the way we are.” Simple, but so, so true.

This was a contemplative photo session. I was looking at my body, touching it, taking different postures and letting it express itself. I love pictures where people’s hands are on their own bodies because how they touch themselves says something about how they relate to themselves. Just like with a partner, we can’t always be “on”… we can’t always be at our best, but in learning to also accept our worst, we can learn to appreciate who we are and what we came here with.

Yesterday I saw an advertisement for a pair of breasts that looked alot like mine that had been “fixed” with implants. I used to hate the shape of my breasts. Now in my forties after having had four babies, I wouldn’t change a thing… I’ve grown to love them dearly. I think I’ve grown to love them by touching them… by caressing them when I am without a partner to do so for me. Your own touch is as different as the touch of two different lovers, but it is still touch, and can still be very nurturing. It seems so crazy to me that entire generations of people were taught that touching and enjoying their own bodies was wrong or bad; imagine if we’d been told that enjoying using your body to walk from one place to another or practice sports were selfish acts of self-indulgence.

I know male and female desire and sexual expressions and needs can be very different. We tend to imagine male masturbation as quick and rough – like “jacking off” or “getting your rocks off”. And some females masturbate in similar ways; some days it’s just a quest for release of built-up tensions. Other days it could be a gentle self-massage with a sponge in the bathtub that leads to genital contact and satisfaction. Sometimes we don’t take the time to tend to ourselves, to touch ourselves, or even to look, except to criticize. I met a woman this weekend who teaches sensual dance to women, who go in thinking they’re learning something new to seduce their partners, when in fact what they’re learning above all is to get more in contact with their own sexual energy to be able to also better love themselves.

The Stingy Beware...

So, the other day, I stopped back by at this really cool place in Portland’s North West called Saucebox. It’s a rad Asian fusion spot. They make these crazy drinks that are so strong on absinthe, you’re only allowed one per visit…or in my case, one half. I had gone there on a date the night before and was back to pick up my scarf which I had forgotten. Standing near the reception desk, I got to talking with Tim who had been our server the night before. He remembered me so I asked him to give me a male perspective about Jersey, the man I had gone out with, and then rate him on a scale of one-ten. Tim answered diplomatically, saying that Jersey seemed nice. When the manager came back out of the office with my scarf, I thanked her and turned to leave. Just as I pushed the door open, Tim asked me if I minded if he told me something. I figured he was going to tell me how pretty I am…so I rolled my eyes and said no, I didn’t mind.

But then, he didn’t tell me how pretty I am. What he did tell me is that I could do better than Jersey. I asked why and what he told me next was flat out embarrassing: Jersey is one of those non tippers. He didn’t just not tip; but actually wrote in a huge zero on the line where a tip should’ve been written. I’ve noticed this behavior in other men as well. They gallantly grab the check to make a good impression and then totally discount their own chivalry by either not tipping or tipping poorly.  

WTF? This is so awkward…for all people involved. Waiter Tim had spent two hours refilling my water fifty times while Jersey and I tried to sum up our life stories to each other in the course of the same period and then he gets shafted. Then I look cheap by association because I actually went out with the guy. Can I just ask: Why go to a place where you can’t afford to tip? Or offer to pay every time you take a girl out if you don’t have the funds? I just don’t get it, man, because it doesn’t just reflect poorly on you. It also makes me look bad, and that is SO not cool.

I have a sister who does this too. No one will eat out with her anymore because she is THAT person who you have to watch out for. She will inevitably want to split the check, pay just exactly or just under the total sum of her part…minus the cost of her drink, simply because she thinks that no one will notice. But WE ALL NOTICE and we all make fun of her for it behind her back.

It’s the same thing on a date. Usually I’ll take a glance before leaving a table to see what kind of tip a guy leaves. I look for these things. Most women do. We know that if he’s stingy at a restaurant, he’s probably going to be stingy in a variety of other places too. Bad tip = red flag that naughty time may end up more work than play. I won’t call a bad tipper out to his face but upon leaving a restaurant/bar, I’ll thank him for…whatever, then politely say goodbye, turn and walk away, just like that. Its funny to watch the faces of these men change from satisfaction about what they thought was a date gone well to sheer puzzlement.

I used to cocktail waitress with a girl named Mona who would do a similar but more fucked up kind of thing. She’d always go out wearing deep red lipstick and this vintage 1950’s style, housewife/mommy-fantasy dress. Together, the look was so Pin-Up-Girl hot that she would make every other woman look subpar. She would start off by casually ordering a drink and asking the bartender to point out the cheap guys. They would eagerly oblige and over the course of the night, Mona would spend her entire time chatting these men up. It may have begun as a personal vendetta but it soon became her favorite game. Inevitably, she’d bring one of these men home with her, make out with him, and then, right at the very moment that the guy is thinking that he’s got this one in the bag, she’d push him away, casually mention that she’s a virgin…and tell them that it was time for them to leave. She would stare into their eyes at this very moment just to see the micro-expression of pain when they realized that they were not only NOT getting laid, but also being forced to find their way home, alone in downtown LA in the middle of the night.

The point is this: justice is sweet, fun for the reckoner and it’s often not overt. So guys…and ladies, if you’re not tipping well…maybe it’s time to reevaluate, change your ways. At the very least, just don’t be surprised if your dates don’t always end up the way you imagined they would.

miyabi si ratu sex

Bintang Film Porno Miyabi Ozawa Ditolak MUI 25 September

Salah satu bintang film porno dari jepang Miyabi Ozawa yang terkenal di seantero Asia dikabarkan akan berkunjung ke Indonesia pada bulan Oktober 2009 untuk keperluan syuting sebuah film Indonesia yang akan dibintangi oleh aktris seksi berdarah Kanada dan Jepang tersebut.

Rencananya syuting akan dimulai pada tanggal 15 Oktober 2009 dan Miyabi akan bertolak kembali ke Jepang pada tanggal 22 Oktober 2009.

Rencana kedatangan Miyabi Ozawa ini mendapat tentangan keras dari ketua Majelis Ulama Indonesia (MUI) H.Amidhan yang secara mentah – mentah menolak kehadiran Miyabi ke Indonesia karena profesinya tersebut yang jelas – jelas tidak sesuai dengan etika dan moral serta mayoritas agama yang ada di Indonesia. Menurut saya, hal itu juga akan mempengaruhi jati diri Indonesia yang sedang berusaha mengembalikan jati diri bangsa ini dari keterpurukan.

Berikut ini adalah kutipan dari MUI perihal penolakan artis berwajah manis dan sensual tersebut yang dikutip dari detikhot.com.

Sebaiknya janganlah menggunakan bintang porno itu. Walaupun filmnya tidak porno tapi kan bintangnya porno. Kecuali kalau sudah berhenti jadi bintang porno.

Hal ini tentu banyak yang pro dan kontra di masyarakat mengenai penolakan Miyabi Ozawa ini karena masing – masing ada sisi baiknya dan juga ada sisi buruknya yang akan timbul dengan kehadiran Miyabi Ozawa. Sisi baiknya tentu dunia perfilman Indonesia akan semakin dikenal oleh masyarakat Internasional khususnya Jepang karena ada artisnya yang menjadi pemeran di film yang bakalan dibuat tersebut serta sisi buruknya citra bangsa Indonesia yang mayoritas masyarakatnya adalah pemeluk agama Islam yang jelas – jelas bertentangan dengan hal – hal yang berbau pornografi akan tercoreng.

Kalau saya daripada ikut mikirin ini lebih baik melakukan optimasi seo untuk kenali dan kunjungi objek wisata di pandeglang dan serunya belajar seo aja deh…

Nah…bagaimana pendapat Anda mengenai pro dan kontra kehadiran Miyabi Ozawa ke Indonesia ini?

Shopping List

Just a warning, there’s probably going to be some TMI so if you’re not comfortable with sex don’t read any further.

I feel like crap.

Physically, I believe half my problems come from having a completely whacked out sleep schedule. I want to believe it is my natural nite owl tendancies, which it is, partially, but also it’s me just not wanting to be near the Lump. Not that we ever had a great sex life to start with. I had to cut my nails because he’s got sensitive skin and I couldn’t react much more than porn sounds. I know I intimidated him. Yes, I’ve gotten around a few more times than he did but I also improvise. My first real boyfriend (when I was 24) was a little shocked by my adventurous nature and other talents and said I was lying to him about how many guys I had slept with up ’til that point. It just came from a lot of reading (none of those Cosmo sex tricks crap) and going to Fantasia (sex toy shopping) parties. I almost never want to get into a long term relationship again because it does seem to be true about that “more sex when you’re single” story.

I don’t know if he thinks he knows everything from having worked in an adult video store or what but having tried to communicate to him it’s next to impossible to get anything done. I could always tell if he was horny when I went to bed because there would be this smell in the air when I walked into the bedroom. After a while my first thought was, aww crap, why couldn’t he get like this before so it doesn’t have be an ambush. This was back when it actually mattered somewhat. The one time he was spontaneous resulted in the destruction of my computer chair. He, of course, blames me for it. I can’t wait for the day I get to have real sex again. If that ever happens. I guess I’ll just have to invest in some batteries.

I don’t know which one of us will be the first to say anything to each other. I’m a mess because of knowing he knows this place exists. The words passive aggressive keep popping up in my head. That those are the words he might be thinking since Monday about all of this and my having not spoken to him. I needed to wait until the weekend because of my belief there’s more time that way so things aren’t left dangling like they were Monday. He has a nasty habit of doing that. I will admit that one of my flaws is over-thinking. I need to have all bases covered. That comes from my pathology to apologize for everything regardless of responsibility. I need to figure out why and how I could have caused that line of thought so as to mount a proper rational plan not to ever do it again and that when it’s brought up to understand where they are coming from with minimal frustration on their part. Of course, my needing to know before hand more than likely adds to their frustration. See, my over-thinking at work again.

I’ve always had this love/hate relationship with my intelligence. I love that I can think of multiple if slightly off the wall at any one time. I love that I am creative and moderately artistic. I’ve said my IQ was 145. I am a visual thinker and photographic memory in that I take pictures with my brain camera in order to remember things. In high school, there was a time when I remembered a particular fact from history text book because I remembered what line of what paragraph on what page by remembering the same page had a picture of some Roman Emperor on the bottom left corner. One of my chief abilities is to take a large problem and break it down into smaller manageable pieces and see how each piece relates to one another. Pattern recognition is one of talents as well. When I was younger and before I moved, no one held my intelligence against me. It’s really pathetic to think you peaked at 10 years old. I’ve always felt my father has been intimidated by my intelligence. I never felt like I was ever going to be smart enough for him to say he was proud of me. I had to know everything and when I didn’t I would be called stupid in a mean and vengeful manner that I had let the world down for whatever reason I couldn’t predict the outcome of a problem I wasn’t aware but should have been. People wonder why I’m neurotic and feel like I’m a living dichotomy.

I’ve always been told that being smart was a good thing but after 12 years old, it seemingly became more of a hindrance. I was always attracted to more physical type work. I also have a great work ethic which has also been a problem (the only time I’ve found it to be a benefit was in high school in drama club). When I worked at a Canadian Tire store I was part-time but worked largely 40 hours a week because I could do a lot of things. I worked on the floor, as a cashier and in the end, mostly in the warehouse. I remember my boss coming to me to tell me I wasn’t getting a raise, not because I wasn’t doing a great job but because that I was doing a great job. As a part timer I got a raise after so many hours worked but because I was working so much that I was racking up more hours than the other part-timers who were hired at the same time as me and that was unfair to them. I was also denied a promotion because I thought I was the most qualified but the warehouse den mother decided that her best friend’s son who dumber than cotton deserved it more because he was never going to achieve more than that. Something I felt at home too where I was told “You get to do things first because you’re the oldest so you have to let your sister have a few perks”. I instinctively will sit in the back of a car because sitting shotgun was always reserved for her. My sister is not challenged or disabled in any way, she’s just 6 younger than me. Same deal when I worked at McDonald’s. I was alienated by certain member of management skilled at pathologically lying and manipulation because I worked hard, was smart and everybody liked me because I respected them without having to sleep with them or drink myself stupid to be their friend. They had none of those skills so spent most of their time lying about just about everything. I remember overhearing her talk to her landlord about her rent being past due and she blamed it on the alleged friend sleeping on her couch for 2 weeks and that she was supposed to help with rent and that she knew certain things because she was a trained psychologist because she took a psych course in university. Spend 5 minutes with her and you knew she was a psych course. I am too smart and work too hard and too honest for my own damn good.

I’ve been gathering information as to how the male brain works because as if often said, men are simple basic creatures. And since I can’t break them down into smaller portions without killing them I need access to that double top secret information. I don’t think I was trying to flirt with him because I wanted to establish a friendship with him. Sure, I clicked “like” on pictures of him in his Facebook album because he was smiling and what I remembered he was always Mr. Uber-serious all the time. And some of the comments were funny becuase he has such a wonderful dry sense of humour. And he’s damn fine to look at in my book. I didn’t say anything to him that he didn’t already know from 5 years ago what I thought. That’s hardly flirting. Sure, my life sucks but I wanted my friend back so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about liking him and I wanted a small portion of that joy he brings me. I was mostly reacting to what he was saying and if we were flirting with each other without being aware of it well, grrrrr, ya know. Then a friend of mine said this….

There, right there, is how you’re managing to terrorise a grown man… Plus no matter how sweet on you he is, he’s probably not that keen on helping you cheat and screw around on your boyfriend… that’s a factor for some guys. After all, if you help a girl cheat on her boyfriend, even if she is one day in the future sometime honest to god going to leave him probably, then there’s no way a guy can really trust that girl to keep her knees together when his own back is turned…

Needless to say, I’m not trying to sleep with HAS. Not that it’s never or would never cross my mind but right now that idea positively terrifies me. Plus I want The Lump to say that he had at least one girlfriend not mess around on him. Also, what my friend said about what I’m putting myself through, never crossed my mind. It’s a definite possibility. HAS is quite an honourable person. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. Maybe after five years I didn’t think “it” would still be there in any capacity. I just know that there wasn’t any negative feelings on his end when things blew up 5 years ago but that doesn’t necessarily mean he would be receptive to a friendship.

I’ll just have to leave my AIM on this weekend to find out. The only real answer will ever come from him. I just need to be able to deal with the fallout of which there are no guarantees. I wish I could put a finger on why I’m putting myself threw this.

Which reminds me, I need to buy toilet paper, Kit Kat Chunky Bars, Bananas, and 4 Teen Burgers from A&W tomorrow. Don’t ask me how, because y’all are well aware how my brain does and does not function.

Until next time, same crazy time, same crazy channel.

Miyabi vs Julia Roberts

JAKARTA – Mungkin yang menjadi pertanyaan sebagian masyarakat pro Miyabi, mengapa Miyabi dilarang syuting di Indonesia, sementara Julia Roberts boleh? Ini dia jawabannya.

Menbudpar Ad-interim, Muhammad Nuh, yang ditemui di Gedung Depbudpar, lantai 16, Jalan Medan Merdeka Barat No 17, Jakarta Pusat, Rabu (14/10/2009),

.

menjelaskan, ada beberapa kriteria film yang bernilai, yakni:
1. Memperkuat budaya dan jati diri bangsa
2. Memberi fungsi peran edukatif
3. Bisa mencerdaskan, mencerahkan kita semua, dan memperkuat persaudaraan.

Dia lalu mencontohkan kedatangan Julia Roberts ke Bali untuk syuting film Eat, Pray, Love.

“Contohnya sudah sangat jelas. Film Eat, Pray, Love yang dibintangi Julia Roberts. Itu kita bantu fasilitasi karena film yang dikembangkan tidak melanggar norma bangsa kita,” beber Nuh.

Bagaimana dengan Miyabi yang juga berencana syuting film komedi produksi lokal berjudul Menculik Miyabi di Jakarta? Tampaknya, karena artis bernama Maria Ozawa itu berprofesi bintang porno di Jepang, menjadi kendala tersendiri atas alasan moralitas dan kontroversial.

“Pemerintah sebenarnya tidak ingin masuk ke masalah yang sangat teknis. Justru kasus Miyabi ini, pemerintah sangat menghargai pertimbangan yang disampaikan masyarakat. Kenapa harus Miyabi yang menimbulkan kontroversi?” tegasnya. (ang)

okezone.com

Baca Juga :

• Aktivis Perempuan: Mestinya Tak Ada Penolakan Kedatangan Miyabi
• Kenalan Lalu Pacaran, Gadis ABG Puluhan Kali ML
• Dalam 4 Tahun Pak Guru 517 Kali Lakukan Sodomi
• [Foto] Apakah Yang Anda Lihat?
• [Foto] Yang Lucu Dari Sepak Bola
• [Foto] Kamuflase apakah ini?

Het soort van sex- en relatie vragen waar onze voorouders zich het hoofd niet hoefden over te breken

Opgevist uit de Google cache, het origineel is ondertussen verwijderd (jammer van de 107 leerzame en zorgvuldig geformuleerde commentaren over  het verschil tussen mannen en vrouwen en hoe je je harde schijf op een deftige manier kan encrypteren…).

Maar uiteindelijk is dit de essentie:

"If the program had options for making cuddling on the couch and walking through a park while holding hands videos there would have been far more of those,…”

Het is de schuld van de software!

I Cannot Wait for the Literature From this Lost Generation

Why is he smiling? Because, during WWII, women paid for sex in this country

It’s not all bad being part of a lost generation. I’m a member of a “lost generation” myself. I was born during the Second World War because my Father was a wealthy defense industrialist in his forties who had sex with a lot of different women and tried to marry as many of them as he could. (Take that Father! What’s it like to suck on the truth? No, I don’t have issues.)

This made me part of a rather small group of children who were alive only because so many men shirked their responsibilities and didn’t go fight in the war. Oh, didn’t know that, did you? Thought it was a Greatest Generation, eh? Well, it certainly was a generation, and a lot of men went and fought, but quite a few stayed at home, came up with excuses not to go into the Army, and did some serious Tomcatting up and down the East Coast. Imagine a country with tens of millions of women who aren’t getting sex but have money–that was what World War II was in this country. Women had to pay top dollar for sex for the first time in human history. Please note that we haven’t had a world war since.

It was not uncommon for me to have a friend at school who looked nothing like his own father, and who, in fact, looked like the son of a shady, underfed tramp. Polite families didn’t notice such things. Having an older brother who was swarthy and given over to rickets wasn’t unusual. This is anecdotal, but because everyone ate better and had a slightly higher standard of living after the war, it also meant that many of us born before or during the war were smaller in stature than our younger brothers. My older brother Chetley is a little smaller than myself but my younger brother Chase is a full three inches taller than myself, and I’m six foot two. Diedre favors Father, and is barely five foot four, which is five inches taller than Father.

My generation was too old to play in the summer of love. Certainly, there were a few who didn’t want to act their age. Immaturity was king in the 1960s. People who were old enough to know better tried to get in on the act. It was a disgrace, top to bottom.

But, never forget this–I went to Vietnam three times.

Three times.

Granted, they were all business trips where I was able to sell the South Vietnamese government riot control vehicles, but still. I never got to see “Charlie,” but I did get to run over a bunch of tackling dummies and road cones in front of some very somber-looking bigwigs. How many men in my generation can claim to have been to Vietnam three times? Not very many. And my commissions were fabulous.

Every lost generation produces a wave of great art and literature, the discombobulated, disillusioned kind that they make you study in college. The World War I generation gave us some of the best stuff. The Civil War generation gave us Ambrose Bierce, and if you have no inkling as to what bleak and hopeless reads like, well, get yourself some Bierce. This particular generation is going to produce some form of bleak and hopeless literature, and I hope it has nothing to do with emo:

Bright, eager — and unwanted. While unemployment is ravaging just about every part of the global workforce, the most enduring harm is being done to young people who can’t grab onto the first rung of the career ladder.

Affected are a range of young people, from high school dropouts to college grads to newly minted lawyers and MBAs across the developed world from Britain to Japan. One indication: In the U.S., the unemployment rate for 16- to 24-year-olds has climbed to more than 18 percent, from 13 percent a year ago.

For people just starting their careers, the damage may be deep and long-lasting, potentially creating a kind of “lost generation.” Studies suggest that an extended period of youthful joblessness can significantly depress lifetime income as people get stuck in jobs that are beneath their capabilities, or come to be seen by employers as damaged goods.

Equally important, employers are likely to suffer from the scarring of a generation. The freshness and vitality young people bring to the workplace is missing. Tomorrow’s would-be star employees are on the sidelines, deprived of experience and losing motivation. In Japan, which has been down this road since the early 1990s, workers who started their careers a decade or more ago and are now in their 30s account for 6 in 10 reported cases of depression, stress, and work-related mental disabilities, according to the Japan Productivity Center for Socio-Economic Development.

When today’s unemployed finally do get jobs in the recovery, many may be dissatisfied to be slotted below people who worked all along — especially if the newcomers spent their downtime getting more education, says Richard Thompson, vice-president for talent development at Adecco Group North America, which employs more than 300,000 people in temporary positions. Says Thompson: “You’re going to have multiple generations fighting for the jobs that are going to come back in the recovery.”

I agree with most of that, except for the misguided notion that young people bring “freshness and vitality” into the workplace. That’s a clear expression of bias.

All things young are not wonderful. That’s just phony nostalgia. You need hardened middle-aged men around to straighten things out when all of the dingbats fold up and go for cheesecake. You need crazy graybeards who hold on to secrets so that only a select few need to be kept around when layoffs are necessary. Young people bring nothing to the table, except a measurable amount of ambition which needs to be fed into busywork tasks. They bring inexperience, confusion, bad manners and incompetence. Molding them is what a good manager learns to do. Young people must be broken down, broken in, and used to plug the gaps when things go south. The ones who survive a few years of systematic abuse and neglect might be worth something some day. The ones who break and run and go start emo bands or tattoo parlors–those are the ones you don’t want in the American business workforce.

I can’t wait to see the art that they come up with. Too bad I’ll be dead by the time they get it off Twitter and sell it on boxes of corn flakes.

Cross posted at my blog…

Posted via web from An American Lion is on Posterous

Mr. Locario's Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice: Understanding "Chick Logic"

So what is Chick logic?

The Urban Dictionary describes Chick logic as “a peculiar form of “logic” demonstrated only by women”. Panama Jackson from Verysmartbrothas.com states that chick logic is “the thought process that a majority of women subscribe to that entails neither rational thought, history, or common sense”.

Most men get really frustrated when confronted with chick logic and don’t seem to understand how some women will do or say certain things that don’t make any sense logically. Most men need things to make sense for them to understand whatever it is they are being presented with. So if a woman is being illogical it will be hard for her to get through to a man.

Here is a couple of real life examples of chick logic from Manic High at pickupguide.com

“I invite a chick over for supper. She refuses and
says she is busy as she has an appointment with her friends that
evening, but lunch is okay. She comes over, we have lunch and I
lay her. She ends up spending the night. I ask her the next morning what happened to her friends and night appointment.
She replies that she didn’t really have an appt, but just that if she came over for supper, she would probably have slept with
me. I told her, “but you came over for lunch and slept
with me anyways..

Chick replies “that was different, because I didn’t expect that!”

Here is another one:

“I meet a chick the first time. We drink, have
supper, make out. Then we head back to her place on the train. At the train station, she tells me she lives with her parents so I probably cant come in. I tell her we will go to a hotel. She says no, she is “not that kind of girl, and doesn’t go to hotels on the first night of meeting a guy”. So I fuck her right there in the train station behind some lockers instead.
That was okay with her.”

What you have to understand about chick logic is that there isn’t necessarily anything “logical” about it. All women aren’t like this but there are a good majority of women who are. What most women do is they go off of their emotions when dealing with certain situations. They go off of whatever they are feeling at the moment. In the example above Manic tries to take a girl to a hotel to have sex with her and she says that she isn’t that type of girl. At that moment she probably felt like she shouldn’t have sex with him on the first date or felt like she just didn’t want to. Moments later he is having sex with her in the train station. By the time she was having sex in the train station she felt like having sex at that particular moment. I’m assuming that the time between her saying that she isn’t the type of girl to have sex on the first date to her having sex on the first date probably wasn’t that long of a wait. What’s funny about this is that it was a problem for her to fuck in a hotel where she would have some privacy but not a problem to fuck in public where other people could see her and she could possibly get arrested for indecent exposure. What happened was since those were two different moments she was feeling two different things.

Also sometimes women use chick logic to rationalize things that they even know themselves don’t make sense. For example I had a friend that was talking about how she was going to start saving as much money as she can and stop spending money on things that she didn’t need. All she kept talking about was SAVING, SAVING, SAVING. The next thing you know she buys an I phone for about $400. I said to her “I thought you were saving your money”. She said “ I did save my money the phone was on sale it was 10% off so I saved 10% I would have had to pay more if it wasn’t on sale so I did save money”. I was just shaking my head.

Mr. Locario

To download my free Ebook “The Magnificent 10: Crucial Dating Tips for Men or If you need relationship advice contact me at www.Mrlocario.com

Psychic Sterling Sinclair Couple's Auracature Inspiring Romance, October 9-12, 2009

Psychic Sterling Sinclair Couple’s Auracature Inspiring Romance, October 9-12, 2009

This post is intended for consenting adults only.

This is a new addition to my blog.

A healthy romantic relationship for couple’s includes a healthy sex life.

If you are looking to spice up your sex life then this is for you.

Hey Couples...It is Time to Play. Have a Fun Weekend.

 

This Auracature and channeled writing is meant for consenting adults only.

 

Increased romance drives the weekend’s desire.

 

Beneath the skirt thrives a heat,

throbbing to be held

within a lover’s welcome kiss.

 

With a different cord,

organs beg to be pumped,

readied to be played by agile fingers

yearning to pound upon the smooth surface

wiped clean and polished

for a weekend

of lifetime performances.

 Blessings,

Sterling

İyi seks cennete yaklaştırır!

Polonyalı rahip Ksawery Knotz, cinsellik ve mutlu evlilikle ilgili verdiği vaazlarla katolik dünyasını karıştırdı. Knotz iyi seksi ve hazzı cennetle özleşleştiriyor. 

Katolik Kama Sutra’nın başrahibi olarak adlandırılan rahip Ksawery Knotz, 2000 yılından beri verdiği vaazlarda, evli çiftlere mutlu bir cinsel yaşamın önemini anlatıyor ve bu konuda taktikler veriyor.

43 yaşındaki rahip, amacını, “Evli çiftlere iyi ve mutlu bir cinsel yaşam için dua etmelerini öğütlemek. Çünkü seks insanların Tanrı’ya yakınlaşmalarını sağlayacak bir yoldur” diye anlatıyor.

Bir din adamı olarak ele aldığı konular yadırgansa da o vaazlarının konusunu çok doğal buluyor: “Eğer Tanrı’ya inanıyorsanız, Tanrı’nın hayatın her parçasında olduğuna da inanırsınız. Elbette aşkta, evlilikte ve cinsellikte… Cinsellik hakkında konuşmam ve bu konudaki tabulara karşı çıkıyor olmam çok doğal.”

Cinsel haz cennete yaklaştırır.

Koyu Katolik olarak tanınan Polonya’da, Knotz’un vaazlarını üç binden fazla kişi takip ediyor. Ancak rahip Knotz görüşlerini sadece vaazlarıyla açıklamıyor. 2004 yılında yayınladığı “Evlilik Sanatı” adlı kitabı Lehçe ve İngilizce olarak yayınlandı. Aynı yıl kitapta yer alan görüşlerine yer verdiği internet sitesi ise yoğun ilgi gördü.

Orgazm cennete gitmeye benzer!

Sitede yer alan “orgazmın teolojisi” başlıklı bölümde Knotz, mutlu cinselliğin cennete gitmeye benzediğini yazıyor: “Evli çiftlerde cinsellikle ifadesini bulan aşk, insanı cennete yaklaştırır. Cinsel ilişki sırasında alınan haz ile ebedi yaşam arasında bağlantı vardır.”

Orgazm için teknikler.

Knotz, sitesinde yer verdiği öğütlerinde çiftler arasındaki iletişimi vurguluyor. İşte birkaç örnek:

- “Erkekler, eşlerini tatmin etmek için zaman ayırmalıdır.”

- “Hayat arkadaşları arasındaki iyi ve açık iletişim, iyi orgazm için en iyi tekniktir.”

- “Eğer bir kadın tahrik olmuşsa, haz duyacağı deneyimler yaşamayı erkek kadar ister. Tahrik edilmiş ama tatmin olmamış bir kadın için içinde bulunduğu durum büyük fiziksel ve duygusal acılara neden olur.”

- “Evli çiftler arasındaki ilişki, hayat arkadaşlarına Tanrı ile karşılaşmanın mutluluğunu anlamak hakkında ipuçları verir.”

- “Cinsel birleşmenin yalnızca fizyolojik boyutuna konsantre olmak, işin en önemli parçasının değerini azaltır.”

 

Sadece evli çiftler için!

Knotz, Katolik Kilisesi’nin cinsellikle ilgili çoğu şeyi suç saydığını ya da bunları birer tabuya dönüştürdüğünü kabul ediyor ama yaptıklarının kilise öğretisiyle çelişmediğini düşünüyor.

“Bu konu bir tabu ve günah olarak görüldü” diyor ve ekliyor: “Benim öğretilerim Kilise’nin öğretilerine ters değil,. Verdiğim vaazlar sadece evli çiftler arasındaki cinsel hazlar konusunda.”

Papa Jean Paul’den etkilenmiş.

Rahip Knotz verdiği vaazların temelini iki şeye dayandırıyor. Bunlardan ilki, yetiştiği açık çevre. Knotz çocukluk yıllarında ailesinin ve çevresinin tutucu olmadığını anlatıyor.

İkincisi de aslen Polonyalı olan Papa II. Jean Paul’un 1960 yılında yayınlanan “Aşk ve Sorumluluk” adlı kitabı. Knotz bu kitaptan çok etkilendiğini söylüyor.

Knotz, Papa Jean Paul’un etkisini şöyle açıklıyor: “Kutsal babamızın yayınladığı kitabı ile ‘bedenin teolojisi’ adlı makalesi ve diğer teoloji ve felsefi çalışmaları, evlilikteki cinsel yaşamı derinlemesine analiz eden çalışmalardır. Benim tek yaptığım bu kompleks çalışmaları ortalama bir Katolik’in anlayacağı biçime çevirmek.”

Cinsel perhiz yeminine ne oldu?

Knotz’a yöneltilen en büyük eleştiri, Katolik rahiplerin görevleri gereği cinselliğe yeminli olmaları gerektiği halde cinselliği savunuyor olması. Knotz, yeminli bir papazın cinsellik hakkında nasıl bu kadar çok konuşuyor olabileceğine şaşıran dini çevrelere şu sözlerle cevap veriyor: “İyi bir kardiyolog olmak için enfarktüs geçirmek gerekmez.”

Kendisine yöneltilen eleştirilere rağmen Knotz seks üzerine vaaz vermeye devam ediyor, internet sitesi “tıklanma rekoru” kırıyor…

 

Wednesday 7th October 2009

 
 
 
 
 
WEDNESDAY 7th OCTOBER

 
 
 
A big thank you to the customer who massaged my ego outside Pussycats last weekend by saying: “You’re a legend mate. You get the place rocking.”
 
He then followed up the compliment with a less than flattering comment. “We’re obviously into similar music being the same kind of age. Are you in your 40s as well?”
 
I nearly choked on my cigarette and pointed out I was 36. Conversely, I was chatting to an 18-year-old woman the same night who thought I was in my late 20s.
 
Make your minds up, people.
 
*****
 
Then there was another woman in the club who said: “I got told you shagged last weekend.” I proceeded to explain that I hadn’t, erm, done that kind of thing for quite a few weeks and pointed out she shouldn’t believe such tittle tattle. Some of the stories I hear about myself are quite comical. That was tame compared to some of it.
 
Always come to me for the truth. Chinese whispers are guaranteed to be bullshit.
 
*****
 
In a similar vein last weekend, a lad tried to convince me I used to, erm, make the occasional visit to his house a few years ago to, erm, spend time with his mother. They weren’t his exact words – he was 19 so it was fairly route one in terms of language. You get the idea.
 
“I remember you used to park your Jaguar outside,” he added.
 
“I’ve never driven a Jag,” I replied. This is true – I’ve neither owned nor driven a Jag.
 
“Oh.”
 
I thought it was best to end the conversation there.
 
*****
 
Some of you may well be aware that the car I drive looks slightly similar to a Jaguar but you will forget that information when I click my fingers.
 
Click… and you’re back in the room.
 
*****
 
I know this won’t come as an enormous surprise but I managed to upset at least one person in the club on Saturday. I lost my rag with a customer – a skinny little 18-year-old girl – because she leant over and started messing about with part of my equipment. This is not a euphemism – I am referring to the club equipment rather than my super-smooth crown jewels.
 
Anyway, I bellowed in her face and used language which would’ve made someone with Tourettes blush. Maybe I went a bit over the top but she could quite easily have turned the music down or powered off the DJ box.
 
Her mate tried to argue the point that I was excessive in my behaviour and I went off to think about it as DJ Loverug was doing his set in the main room. I decided I would speak to the girl.
 
I pulled her to one side and apologised if she found my manner overbearing. I explained how I was trying to do a professional job and her actions could quite easily have led to the sound cutting out in the main room and that would ultimately have reflected badly on me as the DJ and would’ve seen her being chucked out of the club.
 
The cheeky little cow then adopted a swaggering attitude about it and didn’t even apologise for what she did. Just like the glass-throwing psycho earlier in the year, she clearly didn’t think she’d done anything wrong.
 
I don’t want to tar all young people with the same brush but a lot do certainly lack the ability to take responsibility for their own actions. It was like she thought she was the innocent party in all this.
 
Of course, had she not felt the need to interfere with the club’s equipment, there would’ve been no issue. At least I did my bit by explaining and trying to smooth things over – being the bigger person if you like. 

 
*****
 
If you want to get the attention of the DJ – for a request or photo etc – and they look busy, then be patient and wait. If they tell you to wait and you carry on pestering, don’t be surprised if they get annoyed. It all comes down to basic manners. Remember to say ‘please’ as well. It’s not rocket science.
 
*****
 
Don’t forget to check out all the weekend photos from Pussycats in the gallery at www.djwanker.com including some from the opening nights of Club Crush and Bar Vox.
 
I was wearing a suit and tie for the VIP launch and got some interesting comments. A few people suggested I “scrubbed up well” while others thought I had stumbled into the place after being to a wedding / funeral / job interview / court appearance – cheeky feckers!
 
I’m in the bar spinning some tunes on a Wednesday night if you want to pop down.
 
*****
 
Here is a selection of the blog feedback from last week…
 
Dan James: “It has me in stitches every week mate. If people can’t see it as a bit of a laugh then they are taking themselves a bit too seriously and want to lighten up a bit or lose the attitude.”
 
Emma Heywood: “I love it as always.”
 
Sophie Lee: “Great blog Mr. Peters. It was quite entertaining considering u weren’t ranting and raving lol Loved the Trigger/ Sugababes bit. I have a few people I would like to put on the small boat if there is room!”
 
*****
 
TV news…
 
I had no need to be worried about Benidorm (Friday night ITV1) maintaining the previous high standards – the first episode of the new series was in corking good form with a plethora of laugh-out-loud moments. I especially liked the visual gag on the back of one of the motor scooters. I couldn’t do it justice by explaining it here.
 
Harry Hill’s TV Burp is back (Saturday night ITV1) and I suspect it will feature all the usual comedy nonsense. I do have a particular affiliation with the show as one of the scriptwriters is an acquaintance of mine. The series has an extended 25-week run this time. Get in.
 
Never Mind The Buzzcocks (Thursday night BBC2) has also returned and – thankfully – without the smug, irritating Simon Amstell as host. They’re rotating the presenters, just like on Have I Got News For You, and I think the show will be better for it.
 
*****
 
Other news from the music world… B*Witched are to reform. The four-piece band, who crashed into the charts with their mix of Irish-laden pop-folk-cheese in the late 1990s, will be back this time as a trio.
 
I’m sure you’re thinking the same as me… No thanks.
 
*****
 
There was a bit of political chat in the blog last week – just doing my bit to educate you – and here is some more.
 
Comedy gold from the end of the Labour party conference with politicians and activists all queuing up to say they didn’t care that The Sun newspaper had switched allegiance and wouldn’t be backing them at the next election.
 
Gordon Brown said: “It is people that decide elections, not newspapers.” That indeed is true but for years in the mid-1990s, the Labour party moved heaven and earth to try and get The Sun to switch to Labour. Tony Blair even flew to America to meet the paper’s owner to kiss him on the backside.
 
The Sun, sensing the Tories had lost it, urged readers to vote Labour. The Labour party were joyous. It mattered to them a lot. Now they’ve had this toy removed from their pram, they’re rattled like a squealing baby, pretending it’s unimportant.
 
*****
 
Peter Mandelson, getting all irritated over breakfast at the conference, said: “Sun readers want a newspaper, not a propaganda sheet.” I’m sure he has no problems with the Daily Mirror, a staunch Labour supporter for decades, being a propaganda sheet for them.
 
The Sun, for all its faults, will not shy away from criticising the party it broadly supports. The Mirror writes how great Labour are and how rubbish the Tories are, regardless of the story. It is the ultimate propaganda sheet. Mandelson should remember that. And so should you if you read it.
 
*****
 
DJ Wanker got a little mention in the Mirror on Monday in the football pull-out section. Honestly, it’s true.
 
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opinion/columnists/3pm/The-wisdom-of-Graham-Taylor-and-Kevin-Ke…egan-3pm-s-wicked-whisper-and-daft-quotes-of-the-week-article179465.html
 
*****
 
Stolen from the letters page of Viz magazine:

“Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius.”

“I heard recently that, on average, Gordon Brown receives two turds in the post each week. What I want to know is……………. who’s sending the other one?”
 
*****
 
And finally… I like Derren Brown’s TV shows. He’s a real showman with what he does but I don’t really see all the fuss about him correctly predicting the lottery numbers the other week. I’ve had emails telling me I’ve won the Nigerian lottery on at least six occasions. All I had to do was send them my bank details and passwords. Simples!
 
 
 
 
 
Cheers for now,
Geoff / DJ Wanker

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Já chci orgasmus

1.Chtělo by to natočit nějaký celovečerní film o sexu, aby se to lidem líbilo a tím by se na tom mohlo vydělat hodně peněz.
2.To s tebou souhlasím ovšem jedna věc je chtít a druhá to realizovat, už mnoho filmařů tento nápad mělo a většinou se jim to moc nepovedlo, navíc je zde problém s cenzurou, jež nemá ráda sex ve filmu.
3.Je zde dost problém určit co je kýč anebo už porno, pokud tu hranici překročíš tak ten film pohřbíš, stejně tak ten film pohřbíš, když budeš moc opatrný a bude tam minimum sexu.
4.Podle mě by to chtělo natočit skrytou kamerou v nějakém přirozeném prostředí a dát tomu i přirozený příběh co takhle nevěra na dovolené.
5.No to by šlo teď jde o to určit podrobnosti a herce, já bych navrhoval něco s humorem třeba takový politik, který pozná na dovolené, že jeho sekretářka je sexy a začne ji svádět, jenže ona chce být věrná svému manželovi.
6.Není to dost otřepané vedoucí a sekretářka, nechtělo by to něco neobvyklého co takhle nějaký biskup který má sex s prostitutkou a neví, že je to prostitutka.
7.S tím by mohli být problémy já bych použil číšníka, který se zamiluje do pokojské na veliké hotelové lodi.
8.No to by šlo a co věk a vzhled, použijeme amatéry nebo profesionály, no já bych jako muže zvolil profesionála nějakou známou osobnost a zbytek bych zaplnil amatéry.
9.No a ten sex by se mohl odehrávat na pokojích, kde pokojská uklízí a občas by je tam někdo vyrušil, pochopitelně že pokojská bude žárlit a sledovat jestli ji on nepodvádí.
10.Oba se ale budou podvádět a budou mít veliké problémy nevěru zamaskovat, a do toho bych zamontoval psa, který je pozoruje a přitom myslí na sex s hezkou fenkou a má sexuální představy.
11.Jenže jak natočit ten sex aby to bylo něco nového a zajímavého co by přitáhlo diváky,
12.Já bych ten sex udělal v počítači pomocí animace, takže by tam šly dělat kouzla, v realitě sex vychází blbě je to moc naturalistické.
13.A co tam dát hloupé policajty kteří hledají na lodi drogy a právě onen číšník drogy pašuje a neustále drogy přemisťuje a nasměrovává policajty špatným směrem.
14.Scénář nahrubo tedy máme a nějaký šikovný scénárista to dotáhne do konce, ale, jak nazveme ten náš film?
15.Já chci orgasmus
16.No to je hezký název a teď ještě sehnat sponzory a můžeme se do toho natáčení pustit.

i could give a million reasons why we should not be friends

i think love is something that we all wish of. Once we find someone, it is super exciting and so much mystery and danger is surrounding it. but once we find it, that EXCITEMENT of finding it is gone and we miss that. We want what we can have.

cuz i don’t believe in heroes, but i believe in friends

and i believe that optimism without cynicism is a sin

just let yourself have one quote unquote bad day

i dare you to have a feeling, they’ll have you someday anyway

Ich bin gern Single

Ich mag das single Leben, man hat keine Verpflichtungen, ist zeitlich völlig frei, kann spontan sein und hat die Möglichkeit jede Menge Leute (Frauen) kennenzulernen! Ich wache auf bei/mit wem ich möchte (ausgenommen vergebene Frauen). Ich lerne überall Leute kennen,zu 99,9% Frauen.vielleicht weil ich´s einfach nicht drauf an leg und nicht zum sehen und gesehen werden weg bin sondern um Spaß zu haben und um zu feiern. Die letzten Wochen waren einfach nur der absolute Wahnsinn es fühlt sich fast so an als hätte sich mein Leben nach über 1,5 Jahren um 180° gedreht. Niemand der mich irgendwie einschränkt oder dumm anquatscht wenn ich von Freitag auf Samstag bei Nina und dann Samstag auf Sonntag Alexandra bei mir schläft. Das singel Leben ist einfach toll wenn man weiß wie man´s anstellt. Jeder ist eben selbst für sein Glück verantwortlich.

Seamus and the trap

Seven and a half hours before commencement

Seamus stuck to his tasks. Of copywriting and theater. October would see Seamus act in a play, originally scripted in the 1950s. Oh, we’re in October. And the play is scheduled for this evening.

“16 hours it takes to make permanent dreadlocks. Now there is no time. So I’ll be getting temporary dreadlocks. With wax. I grew my hair long only because I wanted to get dreadlocks. Now though, there is no time.”

Seamus never missed a rehearsal through all of these half a dozen months. In fact, a volume of these rehearsals were scheduled post 22:00 hours. And continue till the wee hours of the morning. Any sense? Come morning, Seamus would be in front of his computer, at work, coming up with lines to help sell bikes.

“Seamus is going to break the record. All records will be broken. Sanath Jayasuriya. Who is Sanath Jayasuriya?”

“Seamus!”

“Today, Seamus is Sanath Jayasuriya.”

Almost every person that is going to be present at the auditorium this evening is either a member of Seamus’s family, or extended family, or family of extended family, or friend, women he’s had sex with and well-wishers. All are called. All are chosen. All will turn up to cheer their lad on stage. After all, Seamus is going to go down in history this evening. He makes his debut as an actor, the only fellow from his neck of the woods to make it big since Raj Kapoor. And Seamus shall emerge bigger than the Kapoor.

By the end of this evening, Seamus shall emerge celebrity. Women will kill for a piece of him. Guys’ll flock him asking, “Which shampoo?” I predict that between tomorrow, the 3rd of October 2009 and the 1st January 2010, Seamus’ll have had seven times the sex he’s had in all his years of existence.

May the exuberance of youth shower upon him. And the Indian cricket team.

FIN

Still Here

Cold seems to be finally winding down.

Plan to post either Friday or Saturday on sex and vampires to herald the official release date (today) of The Sweetest Kiss: Ravishing Vampire Fiction, edited by D.L. King and pubished by Clies Press, which contains my story under my Anna Black nom de plume, “The Temptation of Mlle. Marielle Doucette”. It’s set in Revolutionary France.

Here’s a description of the book: Vampires have a timeless allure, mesmerizing us in every medium from books and graphic novels to movies and television shows. Immortal, eternally beautiful, strong, and sexy, these creatures take what they need, stealing the life force from those unlucky enough to cross their paths — or from those whose luck leads them to the most thrilling experience of their lives.

Edited by noted erotica writer D. L. King, “The Sweetest Kiss” takes readers into shadowy alleys, dark bedrooms, and more mysterious spaces to experience the frisson of terror and delight that only a vampire can produce. Mostly straight, these stories also feature bi and queer vampires satisfying their lust in contemporary and period settings. These blood-drenched tales give new meaning to the term “dead sexy” and feature beautiful bloodsuckers whose desires go far beyond blood.

Vampires. Yum! Just in time for Halloween.

Call Me Old Fashioned...

I am old fashioned.  I know that may not appear to be the case because of the way I write and the subjects I write about, but it’s true.  Don’t let the hooka heals fool you, at my core I believe that I have a “role” as a woman in a man’s life, whether friend or lover.

As women have struggled against society (often without a man) to “hold it down” the definition of her role began to blur and many have forgotten it entirely.

I used to be that way.  I went through a stage where men couldn’t tell me anything, and though I loved the guys I was in relationships with, I wasn’t about to “cater” to their every whim, I get up and put pants on in the morning too, damnit- that was my funky tude.

Needless to say, none of those relationships lasted (for more reasons than just me not knowing what the heck I was doing) and as I grew into a deeply introspective person, rather than focus on the men, I chose to focus on myself.

Sure, I had criteria for dating and relationships, and I had some semblance of an understanding of what a life mate would embody, but I knew all of that would be pointless if I didn’t have myself together.

I began to look at the successful relationships around me and talk openly with the women in them, which led me to self identify the kind of woman I want to be- in a relationship or not.

Over the years I came to understand that was nonsense, and in truth, being “old fashioned” and embracing my role as a woman didn’t lessen my personal power or increase anyone elses power over me (because no one has power of me).

Having done that self work (which never ends, btw), I’m a much different person in a relationship than I was even 5 years ago- let alone 10.  I’ve picked better men, had better relationships, had better endings to relationships, and grown because of it all.  No one could convince me I’m not on to something:

I cook. Men love this, because most men like good food, and when they come home at the end of the day, they want to take a dump, eat, take another dump, watch some tv, fuck and go to bed.  The great thing about cooking is you can learn it from a book.  I make food I know my man is going to like.  I have his favorite sandwich down to a science.  I know how he likes his grits and eggs, and of course, what his preferred beer is.  Above and beyond knowing what he likes, I know what he doesn’t like.  I pay attention to things like that.

I don’t talk too much. Now don’t get me wrong ladies and gents, if I have something to say I’ma say it, yaddddamean? Ha!  I don’t censor myself at. all.  But at the end of the day, there is the difference between what I want to say, and what needs to be said.  I have my girls to listen to all the isht I want to say; for my guy, I keep it as simple as possible.  Men will either get stressed out by the details and the magnitude of an issue or they’ll just block out everything a woman says because she’s saying. too. much. all. the. time.

Whenever, wherever, whatever. That’s right, sex.  I have sex with my man, basically whenever he wants it, however he wants it, wherever he wants it, all within reason, of course.  I rarely say no, and I rarely don’t feel like it, so it’s no skin off my nose.

No nagging.  Period. If there is anything that will make a man want to snatch a woman by her throat (besides her smashin’ the homie in a drunken stupor) it’s nagging.  Negative, passive, berating rhetoric doesn’t really work on men anyway, and it enforces the notion that they don’t have feelings and people can just say whatever comes to mind.  Not so.  Men are very sensitive and nothing cuts them more than ill words from a woman.  The only thing nagging accomplishes is building up hostility from one mate to the other.

Come one, come all. I encourage my man to maintain the relationships he had in his life before me.  If there’s a monthly tradition of poker, or golf, or whatever it may be, I’m not going to passively schedule something else during that time and make him choose.  The homies can come over and watch the game and I’ll feed em right and keep the cooler fresh with ice and beer.  If the Line Brother calls in the middle of the night from county holding and needs to be picked up and my man has to go handle that, I’ll make sure he has his wallet and the sheepskin lined gloves and his wallet from atop the dresser.

It’s possible that I’m totally wrong, and being a naggy bitch who only feeds her guy fast food is the way to go.

But I don’t think so.