It's All In A Song...

This post marks a milestone here on The MANCAST Blog: The debut post from Alex himself.  Alex, my partner in crime and co-host on the best podcast known to man, wrote this a little while ago after a glorious trip we took to the strip club.  While we were there we were perplexed by the choice of music by some of the dancers and that lead to Alex writing this masterpiece.  Here it is in all its glory, oh and dont forget the digg button at the bottom

So the other night I went out to celebrate my birthday, and as is the end of result of most of my birthdays, we went to a strip club. I would like to point out that hitting the rippers was not originally my idea, but nobody was pulling teeth to get me there.

There’s something absolutely timeless about a night at a strip club. No matter what club you go to, you essentially see the same thing, but one thing always holds my attention no matter how many times I will ever visit one: the stripper’s musical selection.

For those of you unfamiliar with strip clubs, I’ll try to keep this brief: each dancer has a three song “set” in which to trounce around on stage, enticing the audience to pay for private dances. The first song is performed fully clothed (or at least as clothed as the dancers get). The second song is where normally the top is removed, and the third song the bottoms come off, and it completes the “strip”. I have on rare occasion seen the bottoms come off first, and for any future strippers, I don’t advise you to be one of these innovators. The “top first” set is a classic, and it allows the story to flow properly. Would you show a Star Wars virgin The Empire Strikes Back before A New Hope?

Back to the music itself, a dancer’s selection is key to their whole operation. They need to select songs that can best show off their moves, whether it be pole work, booty smacking, etc. In my experience, I have found there to be three distinct genres of stripper music, each very telling of the personality of the dancer: Techno, Rap/R&B, and Rock.

There is not much crossover in the three genres; you won’t often hear “Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crue immediately after “Back that Thang Up” by Juvenile, although the idea of using different genres to play to different demographics is something that budding dancers should definitely consider to maximize their profit.

The Techno Stripper is a novice to mid-level stripper at best. While they are usually beautiful girls, they are more often than not atrocious dancers. You would think with a constant throbbing beat, they would be able to make a good show of it. Unfortunately, the stripper and techno music share disappointing qualities. Because of the lack of lyrics, a story doesn’t usually form over the course of a techno song, and story telling is at the very base of what a stripper is trying to convey. Also, the computer generated nature of techno music gives it a lifeless quality, and in most cases, the Techno Stripper has absolutely no personality. She is just going through the motions on stage, believing that her looks alone and just a small taste of what is to come will be enough. Maybe that is for some, but most men do care about personality, even in nude dancers.

The Rap/R&B Stripper is different than the Techno Stripper in that they play to the crowd excellently. Whether writhing on the floor to a Ginuwine ballad, or popping and/or locking to Young Buck, the intensity of the singer is reflected in the performance of the dancer. The problem that arises with the Rap/R&B Stripper is in specific song selection. Many rap songs have the root of their lyrics in strip clubs (The most obvious example being T-Pain’s “I’m in love with a stripper”) so some dancers naturally gravitate towards using these songs. While it seems “appropriate”, for lack of a better term, it cheapens the whole song process. I like to think that dancers think about their song selection as much as I do, and it saddens me to no end that some of them don’t, and pull out the easy picks. Try pulling out some familiar that isn’t currently on Top 40 radio. You could easily select 3 songs that are anywhere from 1999 all the way to 2004 that will get people going “Oh yeah, that song! This was my jam in 7th grade!” Everybody loves a throwback, so should you Rap/R&B Stripper.

The Rock Stripper is the final stripper on the list, and like the Rap/R&B singer, she plays excellently to the crowd. Unlike the Rap/R&B Stripper, her song selection is not hindered by popularity. “Classic” rock stripper songs (“Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard, “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails, “Get Naked” by Methods of Mayhem, etc.) can’t be played enough. The crowd loves them, the Rock Stripper gets to show off her great pole skills, and everyone is happy. But if you think that being a Rock Stripper means a fail safe for selecting great songs, think again. The folly of the Rock Stripper, opposite of the Rap/R&B Stripper, is when they DON’T pick the obvious songs. While it’s important that every dancer picks songs they like, choosing “How You Remind Me” by Nickelback or “Take a Look Around”, Limp Bizkit’s interpretation of the Mission Impossible Theme, will be met with throngs of laughter from the crowd. Don’t rock the boat, Rock Stripper; stick with popular songs, and you will be safe from the ridicule of the men who are paying to see you naked.

The song selection of a strip club dancer may be even more important than the outfit she wears or what perfume she uses. Music is the easiest thing to subjectively judge someone you don’t know, and strip club patrons are no different. Make one wrong choice, and a dancer could alienate the whole audience. But there’s one last thing to consider: there could be one lone person in that sea of hungry eyes who thinks ZZ Top is the greatest achievement in music. The moment that opening guitar riff hits his ears, he might as well just hand over his MasterCard, because he just fell in love. Ladies go crazy for a Sharp Dressed Man, and sometimes guys do too.

- Alex

[Via http://mancastjosh.wordpress.com]

cisneros

From Loose Woman by Sandra Cisneros.

“Something Like Rivers Ran”

undid the knot   the ribbons

the silk flags of motion

unraveled from under

“Something Like Rivers Ran”

undid the knot   the ribbons

the silk flags of motion

unraveled from under

the flesh of the wrists

the stone of the lungs

something like water

broke free the prayer

of the heart

the grief of the hands

crooned sweet when

you held me

dissolved knee into knee

belly into belly

an alphabet of limbs

ran urgently

nudged loose a pebble

a pearl

a noose undoing its greed

and we were Buddha

and we were Jesus

and we were Allah

at once

a Ganges absolving

language   woman   man

[Via http://juanahernandez.wordpress.com]

Jesse James Tattoed!

Has Your Marriage Been Tattooed?

Another day…another foolish man! Jesse James didn’t get away this time. He was tattooed by a woman nicknamed “Bombshell.” James’ wife Sandra Bullock has moved out just two weeks after accepting the Oscar and praising her husband publicly.

And, what wouldn’t be a Hollywood scandal without a little reflection from the media outlets. Now we are looking at the curse of the Oscar for winning actresses from Witherspoon, Winslet, to Halle Berry and Hillary Swank, Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts and the list goes on and on…

Some were mere breakups and others divorces. Some were for sex addiction and others sexual perusing. You almost get the sense that these poor poor men were left home alone while their significant other worked. I can see it now… “I am only a star on T.V. (insert Jesse James voice)…I’ll never make it big like Sandra…why don’t I go window shopping to get my fix? Yeah…and then I’ll chase my dog CinnaBun around the Monster Garage compound.” By the way for those keeping score…yes CinnaBun was found after James reported the little one lost.

Truly pathetic. Sad. And yet none of us should be surprised. Men who cannot handle the success of their female partner has been around for centuries. Maybe this riddle goes back to the cave days. Maybe Fred Flinstone started this whole charade. I am not sure where it began, but its roots seem deep and unweildy.

I would like to think we are getting better as men. I would like to think that we understand the big picture…that if she is successful… “I am successful.” Men need to be more realistic about the *&**^$# match they are in with the other gender. If winning is the ultimate goal then pray pray on ole’ brotha cause you’re going down in flames. If you haven’t noticed guys…corporate America has become a female dominated arena…in the manner or approach busisness is taking. The current work environment utilizes all the skills that are innate to women…not men.

"Now Wilma, You Stay Home...I Wouldn't Want YOU To Out Shine Me"

I agree with the swith and think that ones’ ability to communicate, to work in groups, and synthesize information is far better then the stuck-in-the-mud, cowboy individualism we have been gifted by previous generations. Out with the old and in with the New (Trumpets trumpeting in the background)!!

Gentlemen, do you really want your female partner to fail? Because that is the message so many are sending when they fail to support their partners. Men are saying that our egos are far too fragile for someone else to demonstrate competence let alone success. We are living in lean times and I don’t know about you, but when I hear that my partner had a great day and is movin up the ole’ ladder…I applaud, make dinner, and encourage her.

Support the one you love and enjoy the spoils of two happy people…life is short enough!

All the Best!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

[Via http://thenormalmale.wordpress.com]

The Iowa Family Policy Center.

And now a quote from Chuck Hurley, president of the Iowa Family Policy Center.

“The Iowa Legislature outlawed smoking in an effort to improve health and reduce the medical costs that are often passed on to the state. The secondhand impacts of certain homosexual acts are arguably more destructive, and potentially more costly to society than smoking. …Because of their [the legislators'] unwillingness to correct the error of last April’s Iowa Supreme Court opinion [in which gay marriage was legalized], the Iowa Legislature is responsible for sanctioning activities that will lead to dramatically higher rates of HIV and syphilis in Iowa.” 1

Apparently Hurley was referring to a press release entitled “CDC Analysis Provides New Look at Disproportionate Impact of HIV and Syphilis Among U.S. Gay and Bisexual Men.” The analysis found that the rate of new HIV diagnoses among gay and bisexual men “is more than 44 times that of other men and more than 40 times that of [all?] women,” while the rate of syphilis among gay and bisexual men “is more than 46 times that of other men and more than 71 times that of women.” 2

So, you know, Iowa should ban gayness. Because it’s bad for the public health.

We shouldn’t focus on prevention strategies that still allow people to be who they are. No, we should just outlaw their abnormal tendencies. And let’s bring back the sodomy laws while we’re at it.

According to their website, the IFPC “is a nonprofit, 501(c)3 research and educational organization committed to strengthening the family.” They believe the following:

“that marriage is a permanent, lifelong commitment between a man and a woman.”
that we should affirm “sexual relations within the bond of marriage.”
that we should oppose “distortions of sexuality or special rights to those practicing distorted sexual behavior.” 3

Why does it sound like these people want to come into our bedrooms and bat at us with a newspaper whenever we do something outside of their obviously narrow view of normalcy? Can you imagine what would happen if the interest were reversed? We’d have to break down their doors, turn on their lights, tell the man to stop trying to desperately assert his dominance and masculinity by moving stupidly on top of his wife, tell the woman to stop faking it and tell him he’s doing it wrong, and move them into one of the many positions of the Kama Sutra.

But you know what? I don’t care that much! I don’t care if they’re having boring sex, or kinky sex, or furry sex, or playing out fantasies of bondage. Do you know what I would care about? Rape. And the fact that we have a hell of a lot of that within the heterosexual realm of this institution of marriage that they’re so quick to defend says a lot about the morality of the kind of “sexual relations” (we liberals call it “fucking”) that they promote.

Anyway. The IFPC also believes that

“truth exists and educational responsibility lies first with parents.”

Now, their claim that “truth exists” is annoying because you know that this isn’t a profound philosophical statement; rather, it’s a bland slogan that will allow them to parrot verses out of the Bible because, hey, the Bible is ultimate truth. It was inspired by God, and who cares if it was edited by man, and who cares if it was influenced by the church, and to hell with sociocultural context! It’s the Bible! And if it tells us that homosexuality is a sin, then hey, who are we to argue?

Well, we’re human beings. We have billions of neurons, trillions of synapses, and some of us have enough sense to know that “truth” must be deduced by observation. Anything beyond that is, at best, speculation.

The IFPC also believes that

we should challenge “the establishment and spread of gambling because it wreaks havoc on individuals, families and communities.”

This is something that I could almost get behind. Gambling is predatory; in many cases it feeds off addiction and desperation. But things are rarely black and white, and this is no exception. We may wish to say that gambling is evil, but is it worse than destroying someone’s livelihood? Especially after you massacred their ancestors and stole their land and broke your promises and took their children and moved them onto relatively tiny reservations?

Now, I might be able to get behind abolishing gambling as set up by non-Native American folk. But to say that all gambling should disappear would be another betrayal in the already horrific history of this country.

Finally, the IFPC believes that

we should protect life “from conception to natural death.”

Oh boy. So not only are they anti-abortion, they’re against the right-to-die movement.

As far as their views on abortion go, I can only suggest one thing: that they read the relevant passages of “Godless Morality” by Richard Holloway (a former bishop of Edinburgh). If his thoughtful approach does not affect them, there is no hope.

Overall, the IFPC seems to be anti-choice. They don’t want you to choose happiness–they’d rather you be in a loveless, miserable relationship than a sinful one. If you’re a woman, they don’t want you to be able to choose what happens to your body. And if you’re elderly and in poor health, they don’t want you to be able to choose to die. They want you to suffer. In fact, that seems to be their bottom line.

Let me tell you something: suffering is not godly. Anyone who tells you differently is selling bad religion. Suffering is human. Sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes it brings wisdom. But to expect someone to suffer as a way of life is to be an indescribably vile individual.

And to compare homosexuality to smoking in an attempt to incite public fear is reprehensible. Shame on you, Chuck Hurley.

—

1. Clayworth, Jason. “Gay marriage more destructive than smoking, Hurley says.” The Des Moines Register: Iowa Politics Insider. 12 Mar 2010. Online.

2. “CDC Analysis Provides New Look at Disproportionate Impact of HIV and Syphilis Among U.S. Gay and Bisexual Men.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 9 Mar 2010. Web. 19 Mar 2010.

3. “About the Iowa Family Policy Center.” Iowa Family Policy Center. Web. 19 Mar 2010.

[Via http://darenotspeak.wordpress.com]

Porn letter from a Wife

This is an exerp from an article written on this subject. Maybe this will help someone who reads it to look at this issue from another perspective. It is borrowed with permission from the Author for this Blog;

“I didn’t know what to put in the subject line, but I thought that would get your attention to read this.. I don’t want to talk about this anymore as it is beating a dead horse, but I do have a few things to add that I hope will help you FINALLY OVERCOME this.

This may sound harsh, but it is reality. It came to me this morning that “you cannot afford this”.

I was pondering on what that meant and I was getting thoughts of a recovering alcoholic or gambling addict. Whenever they go off the wagon, there tends to be loss.

Whatever addiction, something bad happens.

You can’t afford what this does to you, me, our children.

One of the most stressful things I experience IS this issue or having to STILL contend with this . . . after PROMISES to the contrary. Then the LIES. YOU LIED TO ME!!! About something so AVOIDABLE and UNNECESSARY!!! Is it worth it???

How can it possibly be?

You said you “made a mistake”. A mistake is usually something unintentional. This does not fall into that category.

Then you try to put the guilt trip on me—to take the attention off of you when you threaten to kill yourself and put me out of my misery. YOU are not my misery—but this issue IS!

DO NOT DO THAT TO ME—I cannot worry that if you fall, you would actually consider killing yourself! What I said, I meant—I would never forgive you! I CANNOT TAKE THAT STRESS.

Is THAT worth it?

Most women just feel that if there husband is involved with porn, it is just something they have to deal with. Regardless, they feel they don’t have their husband’s total love and commitment. If they want to accept that—and have that type of marriage, that is their problem.

I don’t want to settle!

There are other ways of “disrespect”—emotionally is one. What I said last night,about nothing makes a wife feel more unattractive than her husband’s attraction to porn. It feels violating—adultering (yes—whenever a man looks upon a woman with lust)—humiliating- and “not good enough”.

Is THAT worth it?

It makes me feel like I am just a replacement for what you really want but can’t have. How could that possibly be worth it???

I want our time together to be between YOU and ME—not images going through your mind of what you have seen somewhere else or have the desire for. If you love me as much as you say you do, why on earth would you want to make me feel that way?

ACTIONS speak louder than words.

You said you “pull out old files”—old files fade—but when you “freshen them up” they will never fade. How can I compete with that?

How you handle it—I have no control over it, but you need to know how I handle it—and it isn’t very good! My heart was racing last night and I felt so anxious I could hardly breathe.  Do you think that could possibly be good for me?? Again, I have to ask you—

is it worth it?

We all make mistakes and we all stumble, we all sin and are FAR from perfect, but this area is something YOU cannot afford!!!!

This problem effects US—other types of sin might be internalized, but not this. I truly feel that this problem affects every area of your life!

How would you feel if something bad happened on the heels of this?

You have GOT to get victory over this!

This is one well of wickedness you, personally, cannot afford to keep dipping in. Do I have your attention?

Whenever you are tempted—you have to ask yourself—

can I afford this and is this worth it??

Somehow, I think if you would just ask yourself those two questions—the temptation will flee if you actually go over the ramifications in your mind BEFORE you do it. Are you, at least WILLING to ask yourself those things BEFORE you start your “surfing”?

This isn’t a game. I love you so much and I want to not have this one thing to not have to worry about ANYMORE. Can you understand that? My heart hurt so bad last night after I asked you and you lied to me! I think the lying shocked me. It felt like I was going to have a heart attack. Are “images” worth that??

Is lying to me worth that?

God may take me from you someday, but I don’t want it to be prematurely.

I love you and I always will, but this can wear away at what we have and make me old and unable to trust you in maybe something of vital importance. Please, I beg you—before you “go there” in your mind, heart or internet—please, please ask yourself these two questions—can I afford this and is it worth it?”

If this is you…please consider the ramifications of your actions

[Via http://narrowgatewalk.wordpress.com]

Middle-aged Christians Dating Online

Isn’t the title enough to put you off? 

I find myself in a world I had not imagined being a part of.  I hear the same from many of those who also find themselves there, and that makes me feel a little more comfortable.  It has been three years now since my husband left me for someone else.  The journey of grief, one that I think never really finishes, has now abated and I find myself longing for the community of a relationship with a man.  Being a Christian leader in my community presents all sorts of impediments to this endeavour.  So, like many my age, I’ve gone online.

I must admit it is a brand new world for me.  Getting to know people through typed words.  Admittedly, not an uncomfortable prospect for someone who likes to write, but still strange and at times unnerving.

I signed up on a Christian dating site for a while and found rather quickly that the “Christian” woman most of these men were looking for was most definitely not me.  In fact, I began to wonder if I really was a Christian!  Unlike many of these men, I am looking for a soul mate who is participating in the journey of the soul.  For me that does not mean we share the same beliefs, journey the same paths or worship with the same music.

And then there is the matter of sex.  Yes, sex.  And this issue presents itself on all sides of my life.  It makes me aware that we are all thinking about it a lot of the time.  First I have the variety of good friends, family, professional colleagues giving me all sorts of advice.  Yes, no, maybe, this way, not that way, try this….  Then there are the men I meet online.  Some are very discreet and others not so (one man put on his profile that one of  his favourite leisure activities was sex – can’t be more clear than that).  Plus, we are middle-aged.  We’ve been there, done that, and many of us want to do it again.  I shall save further musings on this subject for another blog and if you are a Christian who likes sex, you may want to return for that one.

I’ve met a couple of men.  One quite lovely, but lives too far away for any meaningful meeting up.  This also adds a new dimension to dating – distance.  The other man who began to chat with me was actually serving in the military in Afghanistan.  No doubt that would make meeting up very difficult.

I am learning this new landscape.  So far, enjoying this endeavour.  I pray, for that community to be a part of my life again.  And I wait, write, laugh and dream.  I would also love to hear of other’s adventures – please share.

[Via http://lisapowicke68.wordpress.com]

jumping the border.

When I first moved back to Simi Valley, I made friends with a girl from work named Lisa.  Lisa was another halfie (like myself) and loved dancing and drinking and dancing whilst drinking… we meshed well.  It was not until a good month into our friendship in the middle of a conversation about , she blurts out…

“I’ve never had sex”.

My immediate response:  Uhm, well…You’ve got to lose that.  And quick.

Not that I’m promoting promiscuity but if you’re 23 and living with your parents and in community college for the fourth year without closing in on a degree, then you should have at least, for your dignity’s sake, pop your cherry.

The thing about Lisa wasn’t that she had never had the opportunity–which is always the case for girls–damn hollywood with their Nicholas Sparks novel-inspired movies (shakes fist).  It was that she, well, coming from a small conservative town in Southern California always thought she would wait until marriage to have sex.  It was then that I realized that we could never be friends…

…just kidding.  But no, seriously, she needed to lose her virginity because and only because:

1)she was already S-ing the D

2)didn’t date Christian boys

I had to go into great detail explaining why that doesn’t make sense and for all you girls in high school/early college years who are doing the same thing as Poor Lisa, let me tell you, you’re being an idiot.

If you’re going to wait until marriage to have sex (it’s not my bag, but hey, whatever tickles your fancy) then you absolutely cannot make out in the dark, you cannot touch the sexy parts whilst pressing against each other in cars, and you cannot, absolutely CANNOT  play a little game called “Solo Una Puntita.”

Because if Lisa wants to date a boy who isn’t Christian and who is getting his penis polished by everything but her pin cushion, he will leave her for someone who will give him that.  Also, on the other end, if Lisa finds someone who wants to wait until marriage and mid-pre game, she’s like “Yeah. Do it,”  he might just turn to her and go, “Uhm, no.  How dare you suggest we do such a thing!  We can never pre-game again.”  (the latter would probably never happen, but if you were to find a boy who would willingly agree to have sex only after marriage, that reality would be a little more understandable.  Plus I’ve heard horror stories)

After an hour of breaking it down and Lisa fighting me ever step of the way… I drew a diagram.

Lisa was going to have to make a decision right at that moment (mainly because I was making her) to jump the border.  All or nothing.  You can’t have your cake and eat it too  (that was a ‘Holiday in the Sun’ reference, if you didn’t know).

[Via http://soiguessitsover.wordpress.com]