Two months ago, I found myself in a precarious situation. Single. Sure, some may say at 27, I have my whole life ahead of me and nothing to fret. I live in the 3rd largest U.S. city. Have an impressive network of friends – ‘real’ friends, too, not just the Facebook kind. Not to mention, a killer shoe collection containing enough diversity to draw compliments from men who calibrate on the least metrosexual side of the continuum. But after a glass of moderately priced cabernet, and by ‘glass’ I mean Anthropology ‘fishbowl’, and a fulfilling evening of relaxation, I find myself in bed contemplating what’s next. It’s a funny phenomenon the way the female brain never stops spinning. Sure, the wine after 5pm can slow down the ticker…but it can never stop the internal clock from tick-tocking into the future realm of uncertainty.
I’ve taken the proper precautions since becoming a single again. After two serious relationships with stand-up men, both teetering on the edge of either moving in together or talking ‘rings’, I’ve come to terms with the fact that while I may have a slight commitment issue (aka: divorce phobia), I just haven’t found the ying for my yang. And although Single Town has rendered feelings of insecurity and bouts of loneliness, it’s also provided an opportunity to enjoy the many freedoms that come with being in your late 20’s. Want to go to Scottsdale next week? Ok. Vail to ring in 2010? Sounds like fun. Acapulco to beat the Chicago winter blues? Why not spend my next two paychecks – book it! It’s not like I have to buy a thoughtfully expensive gift for my delish beau.
But after surviving the dating tribulations of these last two months, I find myself considering what’s ex…I mean next! Ok, I find myself being drawn back to my ex’s. I suppose after going on a date with that god-awful news reporter who talked about investigative reporting in Bogota over a dinner that was supposed to be a glass of wine, I gained new perspective on how great the ex’s were. Who wouldn’t after staring at that guy’s cheese grin for two hours? And then of course, there was the charming son of the CEO who swept me off my feet for a month only to toss me on my head when the prize was won. I suppose this was a good life lesson. I might’ve spent my life in a cage of inferiority with that one – a diamond-crusted, golden cage of course, but a cage nonetheless. But the question remains, can ex’s be friends? Can ex’s recover after several years apart? Need I even ask these dumb, self-evident questions? Probably not.
Having had time to think, as most women never stop doing, I come back to this idea of falling in love with someone, learning they’re not ‘the one’, and then closing the door. It’s so strange how men and women fall in love, deeply in love, and then realize they must spend their lives apart. I understand most people eventually find their matches organically, whatever the hell that means anymore in this digital universe, but isn’t it funny how you live, love and then move on? You move past the memories. Move past the families, friends and other meaningful parties who become a piece of your life. And then you meet the next special person who blurs the memories and fades the residual feelings. It’s life. It’s love. And it’s so freaking weird.
November 8, 2007 at 12:54pm
Connections: Body, Spirit, and SEX SLAVERY around the World
Do you realize that the body is connected to the spirit? Your body is not cheap, or to be used for prostitution, but for GOD, and very valuable.
Connection: the spiritual support that we give to sin helps increase the number of girls being raped, molested, and forced to be prostitutes.
We may not be able to save every molested little girl, or sex slave in Thailand, Africa, or America, but We can make a difference! How? By refusing to support sin, and the cheapening of the human body, in ANY form.
Also, by praying that God would save them, and save their abusers, and CRUSH any industry that abuses the human body to advertise or make money. (magazines, music, movies, clubs)
Do you realize that every time you support:
a porno video
a party, club or nightspot that uses sex to sell
a porn website
a hip hop video that cheapens womens bodies
any other magazine or advertisement that cheapens womens or mens bodies
using the term ‘pimp’ as a positive word
a movie that uses sex or naked bodies to attract viewers
that you are spiritually or financially supporting ‘human trafficking’ aka SEX SLAVERY
which is the NUMBER ONE SLAVE INDUSTRY EVER in the World?
Did you know that there are more SEX SLAVES in the world right NOW then all the African American slaves ever?
Did you know that Prostitution is the BIGGEST FASTEST growing Industry across the EARTH right now?
Most of these are preteen (4-12) and teenage girls that are either sold by their parents for money, or kidnapped by strangers.
How does America support the Child Prostitute Slave Industry?
Financially.
A Lot of it is Purchased through the INTERNET!
Bought by vacationers.
Entertainment Industry
Pornography over the Internet
watching horny videos. Or even “Positive” Rappers that make body cheapening songs like Talib Kweli’s “Hot Thing”
supporting Filthy music about sex
Strip clubs, orgy parties, American sin-clubs
Advertisements that display sexual images, that should be private
These things make the human body a cheap thing for display, not the temple of God like it should be. This contributes to people’s thinking that they can sell it for real.
Travel Industry
“business” vacations in Asia with a LOT of extra curriculars
Spiritually (In Yourself)
Men, when you let sexual sin use you as a slave, in your eyes or your body, and allow others to do the same you are contributing spiritually to the rape of an 8 year old girl in Thailand, Africa, or Cambodia… or the molestation of a little girl in America… How? Because sin grows and spreads spiritually. The lifestyle we live spreads into the culture that surrounds us. The culture that surrounds us spreads into other cultures. (Look at hip hop and the American entertainment culture. it spreads everywhere.
You have to hate sin to destroy it.
Fashion Industry (Spiritually)
Women when you sell your own body with the clothes you half-wear, showing cleavage, not covering your bootie (not being modest acc to 1 Peter 2 ), you spiritually contribute to lust of men, and to the prostitution industry, and the CHEAPENING of the body of a 13 year old girl in Thailand, Africa, or Cambodia… AND America!
This message is about connecting our lifestyles to how it affects others. You will definitely suffer for it, but sin affects more than just you.
Teach someone else not to support sin in ANY way! Do not support the cheapening of the human body in ANY way.
Look it Up!
STORY OF A GIRL SOLD
SEX SLAVERY VIDEO
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R5eWyrXd-hU
hip hop video about it by Mr. J (this video is an answer to Talib Kweli’s song “hot thing”)
November 8, 2007 at 12:54pm
Connections: Body, Spirit, and SEX SLAVERY around the World
Do you realize that the body is connected to the spirit? Your body is not cheap, or to be used for prostitution, but for GOD, and very valuable.
Connection: the spiritual support that we give to sin helps increase the number of girls being raped, molested, and forced to be prostitutes.
We may not be able to save every molested little girl, or sex slave in Thailand, Africa, or America, but We can make a difference! How? By refusing to support sin, and the cheapening of the human body, in ANY form.
Also, by praying that God would save them, and save their abusers, and CRUSH any industry that abuses the human body to advertise or make money. (magazines, music, movies, clubs)
Do you realize that every time you support:
a porno video
a party, club or nightspot that uses sex to sell
a porn website
a hip hop video that cheapens womens bodies
any other magazine or advertisement that cheapens womens or mens bodies
using the term ‘pimp’ as a positive word
a movie that uses sex or naked bodies to attract viewers
that you are spiritually or financially supporting ‘human trafficking’ aka SEX SLAVERY
which is the NUMBER ONE SLAVE INDUSTRY EVER in the World?
Did you know that there are more SEX SLAVES in the world right NOW then all the African American slaves ever?
Did you know that Prostitution is the BIGGEST FASTEST growing Industry across the EARTH right now?
Most of these are preteen (4-12) and teenage girls that are either sold by their parents for money, or kidnapped by strangers.
How does America support the Child Prostitute Slave Industry?
Financially.
A Lot of it is Purchased through the INTERNET!
Bought by vacationers.
Entertainment Industry
Pornography over the Internet
watching horny videos. Or even “Positive” Rappers that make body cheapening songs like Talib Kweli’s “Hot Thing”
supporting Filthy music about sex
Strip clubs, orgy parties, American sin-clubs
Advertisements that display sexual images, that should be private
These things make the human body a cheap thing for display, not the temple of God like it should be. This contributes to people’s thinking that they can sell it for real.
Travel Industry
“business” vacations in Asia with a LOT of extra curriculars
Spiritually (In Yourself)
Men, when you let sexual sin use you as a slave, in your eyes or your body, and allow others to do the same you are contributing spiritually to the rape of an 8 year old girl in Thailand, Africa, or Cambodia… or the molestation of a little girl in America… How? Because sin grows and spreads spiritually. The lifestyle we live spreads into the culture that surrounds us. The culture that surrounds us spreads into other cultures. (Look at hip hop and the American entertainment culture. it spreads everywhere.
You have to hate sin to destroy it.
Fashion Industry (Spiritually)
Women when you sell your own body with the clothes you half-wear, showing cleavage, not covering your bootie (not being modest acc to 1 Peter 2 ), you spiritually contribute to lust of men, and to the prostitution industry, and the CHEAPENING of the body of a 13 year old girl in Thailand, Africa, or Cambodia… AND America!
This message is about connecting our lifestyles to how it affects others. You will definitely suffer for it, but sin affects more than just you.
Teach someone else not to support sin in ANY way! Do not support the cheapening of the human body in ANY way.
Look it Up!
STORY OF A GIRL SOLD
SEX SLAVERY VIDEO
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R5eWyrXd-hU
hip hop video about it by Mr. J (this video is an answer to Talib Kweli’s song “hot thing”)
So, it’s been a while since I decided to begin my blog. Actually, since I began I’ve thought a few times about just ditching it completely.
But you know what? That growth process and life and My Road to FREEDOM is absolutely amazing and I MUST tell the story. There are so many parts. I mean, in the last 2.5 months, I officially resigned from the church of my youth (cultish in the process of self-removal as it was . . . .), I got tattood with a BEAUTIFUL, deeply meaningful tattoo in a place that I see daily & reminds me daily how beautiful I am and that my new motto is life is that I’ll let NO ONE F**K with me! It’s amazing, actually. And with each daily recgonition, another feather is added to the butterfly wings that allow me to enjoy this ever-changing view from the air! Life will never be the same and it is amazing!
So, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. What I want to write about today is my relationships with MEN! LOVE men BUT I’m just learning the rules. Not THE rules. Today, I realized that I have the freedom to create MY rules. And I feel soooo good!
Here’s the history. Just after my soon-to-be husband left & I didn’t let him come back, I started talking with a man I feel very attracted to online. NO! I never met him. And that’s why I haven’t talked to him for the last 3 weeks — until today. And, in the interim (about a month ago) my friends hooked me up with a great guy that I’m very attracted to.
Here’s the rub! Never met the internet guy (although we seemed to be headed in that direction) because Mr Face-to-Face told me on our FIRST DATE that if he is dating me, it doesn’t work for him if I am seeing other people. WHAAATTT??? Get this — I’m not wanting to run around being sexually free with every man I meet — but I DID feel uncomfortable. How could a guy I’ve just met expect me to cut off all of my other options from the get-go? Well . . . . I did it in spite of my better judgment. Dumped Mr. Internet — even though we were able to talk deeply about so many things and I LOVED the way he pushed me to go deeper inside myself and share that with him.
BUT . . . . Mr. Face-to-Face has a very busy, complicated life. Translation: Doesn’t call when he says he will. Sends a text a few days later saying sorry and asking forgiveness. Ok the first few times. Gets irritating after a month with several requests for forgiveness. I’ve been thinking for about a week that I might have just walked into Mr. Face-to-Face’s life at the WRONG TIME!!!! Ya think???
Especially when I’ve just released myself from tightly wound silk strings that bound me!!!
So, today I realized that I’ve been thinking about Mr. Internet A LOT. I text him. Turns out he hasn’t called for 3 weeks because he lost his phone with my number in it and I dumped him. Of course, he did call once to confront my txt that cut him loose before he lost his phone. He was right to confront it — but the way he did it didn’t leave me with warm/fuzzy feelings toward him. Then the ball dropped. Call me gullible if you want for believing his story about the lost phone — I’m not saying I believed him. I just needed to set the record straight on a few things. And I did. And I opened a door with him again. And I felt FREEEEE!!!!
I’m not mad at anyone. Mr Face-to-Face may or may not call again. I don’t even care! Mr. Internet and I might not ever be able to get past his disappointment that I told him I only wanted friendship. I don’t care!
All I know is that I’m free to make my own choices! It’s a GREAT BIG OCEAN with LOTS of FISH and I’m going to have LOTS of fun fishing!
Rules: DON’T commit to dating only one man — that’s when obsession begins!
DO respect my body and wait to share it until I KNOW I’m understood at my deepest level and THAT IT MATTERS to the man I’m thinking of sharing myself with.
DON’T kiss and tell!!! — Unless you can do it anonymously on a blog!!! tee hee!!!
DO have FUN! Enjoy life! Listen to myself and REVEL in the gifts life offers! JOY!
I am just one woman and I am in LOVE with my process of freeing up my free spirit with feather butterfly wings!
I was working with a female editor recently and discovered the most amazing thing–another difference between men and women. The word jiggle. I write erotica most of the time and the toughest part about it is to make each and every sex scene different and still exciting. There are only so many words you can use to describe various body parts and how they move. One of my scenes involved the word jiggle. Needless to say I was politely told that this word makes women cringe and shudder.
Really?
ObviouslyI am a man (or at least the last time I checked) so the bump, roll and jiggle of a woman’s body is among some of the more pleasant movements in the world. Be they nun or harlot there is something about the shimmying of a woman’s body that strikes a very deep cord in the male mind. Sensous bouncing, wobbling and swaying sets a man’s libido a-fire and makes him happy he was born male. Say what you want about pursed, soft lips or even hair spun like silken thread–a woman’s jiggling is extremely sexy. How was I to know it was a BAD word?
My father once told me that there is always something about a woman that is beautiful. She might have a great smile, a sultry voice or even sparkling eyes–even her jiggle can be wondrous. Oh well I guess I learned something new and the world is a sorrier place for it.
So women harken to my words! Embrace your jiggling! Strut and shimmy and remind yourself that the men around you are fascinated, enthralled and mesmerized in the movement of your bodies! I say we take back the word jiggle, wobble and roll and make it part of the beauty of all womanhood. Who wants to watch a skinny, anorexic model stomp down the runway, no jiggle in sight! Toothpick-like legs, no bounce to the ounce–what fun is that?! Quiver with pride! Jiggle joyfully!
Really. Who cares? He’s a sports hero and famous and super rich… Did anyone actually expect that marriage to last. Furthermore I think the wife is at fault for whatever emotional distress she is feeling. Why you ask?
Because he’s Tiger Fucking Woods. And I didn’t realize this until today but apparently she married him after he stopped being Tiger Woods, and added that telling middle name “Fucking”. She married Tiger Fucking Woods, sports God – rich man – who travels extensively – and is admired by millions – and expected a faithful monogamous relationship? This only further illustrates why I choose not to involve myself with the weaker sex. I kid, or do I? (cont’d below)
Now granted she’s hot. But the best piece of ass is a new piece of ass. Am I right, or am I right?
So to conclude – Once again the story is not interesting or fascinating – but the obsession of the country over it is. Tiger Woods cheated on his wife. Shocker! He can have almost any non-prude single girl (and probably a lot of the married ones) simply by asking.
This has been a funny couple of weeks. I’ve had a few conversations about relationships and for some reason I’ve been enlightening myself and realizing a lot of the mistakes I’ve made, much to my chagrin. I’m someone who likes to live in a perpetual state of self congratulation and complete denial of my failures as a human being, so it’s been quite difficult.
I'm assuming by "narcissist" you mean "awesome-sis-nest." I thank you!
The first conversation was with my little sister, Molly. We were discussing the nuances of our inevitably dysfunctional relationships when out of nowhere I go, “You know, Mol, we really only ever date people that have absolutely no chance of ever REALLY hurting our feelings.” Basically, we date functional retards with no self respect and/or people who live across the country. To give you an idea of just how many of these people we’ve dated, here is an open letter she wrote on facebook to current and future exes.
As hilarious as this is, it made me start wondering about exactly what’s going wrong when out of nowhere my Mom says, “Sarah, what exactly do you think it is in your childhood that you’re trying to reconcile with these boyfriends?”
First of all, it was pretty insane that my Mom communicated anything other than semi-intelligent mumbling and pointing at a wine bottle and I was caught off guard. So again, I had an unwanted clarity spasm and said, “Well Mom, I think it’s probably that I can’t stand to be the one in a vulnerable position. I mean, I’ve never even been dumped because I never pursue people who will dump me.”
I elaborated on her relationship with my Dad, and how even though I don’t hate her I pretty much wanted to punch her in the fucking face for the majority of my life for being married to him and I date people like her so that I can do JUST that, and here’s why:
My Dad is a violent, abusive serial cheater who treated all of us like shit. As a child and young adult, I never understood why Mom never went Lorena Bobbit on his ass or at least slapped him around a couple of times. Instead she acted like goddamn Eeyore and moped around the house, basically silent for 20 years having more babies. Presumably so that she could created an army of insanely angry young women, the only endeavor she’s truly succeeded at (see open letter above).
Well I guess the only thing to do is have another baby
Here are some things I haven’t been dumped for:
Sleeping with my boyfriend’s friends
Hitting, punching, screaming and all other manner of violent lack of impulse control
Lying and basic girl-type manipulations
Character assassination on a daily basis for no good reason
Destruction of property
Drinking 99.9% of the time for an entire relationship
Belittling someone in front of friends and family
Hacking into email, phone and whatever else.
Me: aka lucifer, the antichrist, biggest bitch in the world, visitor from the 7th circle of hell, etc.
Let me repeat: I have NEVER been dumped. Not even close. I have only ever dated people that I can do literally whatever I want to and they will NEVER leave me, and are usually keen to be best friends as soon as we do finally part ways.
This isn’t to say that in general I’m not a pretty nice, normal girlfriend. But any one of those thing above should be a complete dealbreaker for a normal guy, and when I go nuts it’s usually more than one of those things at a time. I may fail at a lot of things, but multitasking isn’t one of them!
So that’s what I mean by “dating my Mom.” I basically find people who should stand up for themselves and from time to time kick them to see if they will. The equivalent to getting a puppy and poking it until it either gives up wanting to live or bites you. Boys usually just give up wanting to live…for anything but you.
I don't CARE about the car, and you choking me, and alienating my Mom! You are perfect for me!
So I’m left with 3 options:
1) Become a celibate dog lady who lives out in the country and doesn’t attempt interpersonal relationships with anyone except my friends on 4 chan for all of eternity.
2) Become a hooker. This is really the ultimate conclusion to a life of false power and no emotional connection, and plus I’d be RICH! RICH I TELL YOU!
3) Date men with high self esteem and goals and most likely get my ass dumped for acting like a bipolar 15 year old.
Obviously the only positive option is 3. I figure it will probably take me a good 5 more years of trying to date normal guys, and I will get dumped 5 or 6 times before I have the correct relationship tools to put me on the level of an 18 year old guy.
When I’m asked why I’ve been celibate for more than three years I’d like to reply that tis ‘cause I’m not into people, but that basically invites presumptions of bestiality or tuber abuse. What I really mean is that almost all humans are weak and boring, to be blunt. Sure, I’m still a man and boobs are great, but they almost always come at a cost that just makes bad business sense.
What would (eventually) (hopefully) wet my whistle is a bona fide Nietzschean Übermensch – preferably both buxom and sans boner.
‘What a right wanker,’ you might say, and you’d be accurate in at least one way. In another you’d be a judgmental prick though, as my stance could be a biological impulse, an ideal of enlightened self interest, or both. That’s right, I bet deez nuts are both base and benevolent, and while my baby batter cannot be bought or bargained, that doesn’t make me adverse to decorating the interior of the right rumpus room/s – although reproduction is most likely out of the question. There’s far too many of us already and my bloodline has a few bugs. But before I digress too far, let us get back to being balls deep…
Sex with somebody changes everything irrevocably, codependence went out of fashion last millennium and comfort is our frenemy. While crushing pussy sure can be fun, too often I’ve seen a root sooner or later result in a rut. Neither gender is guiltier than the other, for as they say, a bitch is a bitch.
Too many expect too much already, and humping heralds the imminent arrival of further expectations. But before you girls get all Germaine Greer on my ass, this isn’t an issue of commitment, rather one of risk vs. reward: temporary pleasure is not worth the potential pain.
‘Meaningless’ sex could be considered worthwhile if it didn’t come with consequence/s, but humans are by nature erratic and emotional animals. In simpler terms, what has been fucked cannot be unfucked, and truly letting go is a lesson most still have to learn.
..Which leads us back to the idea of the irresistible Übermensch. For those who haven’t spoken to Zarathustra, such superwenches would live to perceive, strew golden words yet perform still more than their promise, and be free both in spirit and heart.
While this might seem like a recipe for Captain Planet, think about it and be honest – with a pair of chest puppies and a makeover you’d totally hit that tight blue body too.
Without truth we lose, freedom is the best thing in the world, and integrity gets me wet. Subsequently, there’s nothing sexier than a hot girl who also happens to be honest, honourable, curious, open, and not secretly plotting to peel the skin off my penis* (that’s a metaphor).
Such discerning discipline when it comes to dicking most probably won’t end my drought for a while, but I’m willing to wait. I’m also willing to become a role model unless you’re religious and trying to taint children more than you do already.
I know there’s posthuman poontang out there somewhere – there just has to be. If 100 typewriter wielding monkeys would eventually bash out the works of the Bard, and Sarah Silverman is somehow fucking funny, female and Jewish all at once, anything is possible.
* if you happen to fit this description OR would like to lease a passable penis with low mileage, contact author. Conditions apply.
As hilarious as this is, it made me start wondering about exactly what’s going wrong when out of nowhere my Mom says, “Sarah, what exactly do you think it is in your childhood that you’re trying to reconcile with these boyfriends?”
