Isn’t the title enough to put you off?
I find myself in a world I had not imagined being a part of. I hear the same from many of those who also find themselves there, and that makes me feel a little more comfortable. It has been three years now since my husband left me for someone else. The journey of grief, one that I think never really finishes, has now abated and I find myself longing for the community of a relationship with a man. Being a Christian leader in my community presents all sorts of impediments to this endeavour. So, like many my age, I’ve gone online.
I must admit it is a brand new world for me. Getting to know people through typed words. Admittedly, not an uncomfortable prospect for someone who likes to write, but still strange and at times unnerving.
I signed up on a Christian dating site for a while and found rather quickly that the “Christian” woman most of these men were looking for was most definitely not me. In fact, I began to wonder if I really was a Christian! Unlike many of these men, I am looking for a soul mate who is participating in the journey of the soul. For me that does not mean we share the same beliefs, journey the same paths or worship with the same music.
And then there is the matter of sex. Yes, sex. And this issue presents itself on all sides of my life. It makes me aware that we are all thinking about it a lot of the time. First I have the variety of good friends, family, professional colleagues giving me all sorts of advice. Yes, no, maybe, this way, not that way, try this…. Then there are the men I meet online. Some are very discreet and others not so (one man put on his profile that one of his favourite leisure activities was sex – can’t be more clear than that). Plus, we are middle-aged. We’ve been there, done that, and many of us want to do it again. I shall save further musings on this subject for another blog and if you are a Christian who likes sex, you may want to return for that one.
I’ve met a couple of men. One quite lovely, but lives too far away for any meaningful meeting up. This also adds a new dimension to dating – distance. The other man who began to chat with me was actually serving in the military in Afghanistan. No doubt that would make meeting up very difficult.
I am learning this new landscape. So far, enjoying this endeavour. I pray, for that community to be a part of my life again. And I wait, write, laugh and dream. I would also love to hear of other’s adventures – please share.
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