It's All In A Song...

This post marks a milestone here on The MANCAST Blog: The debut post from Alex himself.  Alex, my partner in crime and co-host on the best podcast known to man, wrote this a little while ago after a glorious trip we took to the strip club.  While we were there we were perplexed by the choice of music by some of the dancers and that lead to Alex writing this masterpiece.  Here it is in all its glory, oh and dont forget the digg button at the bottom

So the other night I went out to celebrate my birthday, and as is the end of result of most of my birthdays, we went to a strip club. I would like to point out that hitting the rippers was not originally my idea, but nobody was pulling teeth to get me there.

There’s something absolutely timeless about a night at a strip club. No matter what club you go to, you essentially see the same thing, but one thing always holds my attention no matter how many times I will ever visit one: the stripper’s musical selection.

For those of you unfamiliar with strip clubs, I’ll try to keep this brief: each dancer has a three song “set” in which to trounce around on stage, enticing the audience to pay for private dances. The first song is performed fully clothed (or at least as clothed as the dancers get). The second song is where normally the top is removed, and the third song the bottoms come off, and it completes the “strip”. I have on rare occasion seen the bottoms come off first, and for any future strippers, I don’t advise you to be one of these innovators. The “top first” set is a classic, and it allows the story to flow properly. Would you show a Star Wars virgin The Empire Strikes Back before A New Hope?

Back to the music itself, a dancer’s selection is key to their whole operation. They need to select songs that can best show off their moves, whether it be pole work, booty smacking, etc. In my experience, I have found there to be three distinct genres of stripper music, each very telling of the personality of the dancer: Techno, Rap/R&B, and Rock.

There is not much crossover in the three genres; you won’t often hear “Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crue immediately after “Back that Thang Up” by Juvenile, although the idea of using different genres to play to different demographics is something that budding dancers should definitely consider to maximize their profit.

The Techno Stripper is a novice to mid-level stripper at best. While they are usually beautiful girls, they are more often than not atrocious dancers. You would think with a constant throbbing beat, they would be able to make a good show of it. Unfortunately, the stripper and techno music share disappointing qualities. Because of the lack of lyrics, a story doesn’t usually form over the course of a techno song, and story telling is at the very base of what a stripper is trying to convey. Also, the computer generated nature of techno music gives it a lifeless quality, and in most cases, the Techno Stripper has absolutely no personality. She is just going through the motions on stage, believing that her looks alone and just a small taste of what is to come will be enough. Maybe that is for some, but most men do care about personality, even in nude dancers.

The Rap/R&B Stripper is different than the Techno Stripper in that they play to the crowd excellently. Whether writhing on the floor to a Ginuwine ballad, or popping and/or locking to Young Buck, the intensity of the singer is reflected in the performance of the dancer. The problem that arises with the Rap/R&B Stripper is in specific song selection. Many rap songs have the root of their lyrics in strip clubs (The most obvious example being T-Pain’s “I’m in love with a stripper”) so some dancers naturally gravitate towards using these songs. While it seems “appropriate”, for lack of a better term, it cheapens the whole song process. I like to think that dancers think about their song selection as much as I do, and it saddens me to no end that some of them don’t, and pull out the easy picks. Try pulling out some familiar that isn’t currently on Top 40 radio. You could easily select 3 songs that are anywhere from 1999 all the way to 2004 that will get people going “Oh yeah, that song! This was my jam in 7th grade!” Everybody loves a throwback, so should you Rap/R&B Stripper.

The Rock Stripper is the final stripper on the list, and like the Rap/R&B singer, she plays excellently to the crowd. Unlike the Rap/R&B Stripper, her song selection is not hindered by popularity. “Classic” rock stripper songs (“Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard, “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails, “Get Naked” by Methods of Mayhem, etc.) can’t be played enough. The crowd loves them, the Rock Stripper gets to show off her great pole skills, and everyone is happy. But if you think that being a Rock Stripper means a fail safe for selecting great songs, think again. The folly of the Rock Stripper, opposite of the Rap/R&B Stripper, is when they DON’T pick the obvious songs. While it’s important that every dancer picks songs they like, choosing “How You Remind Me” by Nickelback or “Take a Look Around”, Limp Bizkit’s interpretation of the Mission Impossible Theme, will be met with throngs of laughter from the crowd. Don’t rock the boat, Rock Stripper; stick with popular songs, and you will be safe from the ridicule of the men who are paying to see you naked.

The song selection of a strip club dancer may be even more important than the outfit she wears or what perfume she uses. Music is the easiest thing to subjectively judge someone you don’t know, and strip club patrons are no different. Make one wrong choice, and a dancer could alienate the whole audience. But there’s one last thing to consider: there could be one lone person in that sea of hungry eyes who thinks ZZ Top is the greatest achievement in music. The moment that opening guitar riff hits his ears, he might as well just hand over his MasterCard, because he just fell in love. Ladies go crazy for a Sharp Dressed Man, and sometimes guys do too.

- Alex

[Via http://mancastjosh.wordpress.com]

cisneros

From Loose Woman by Sandra Cisneros.

“Something Like Rivers Ran”

undid the knot   the ribbons

the silk flags of motion

unraveled from under

“Something Like Rivers Ran”

undid the knot   the ribbons

the silk flags of motion

unraveled from under

the flesh of the wrists

the stone of the lungs

something like water

broke free the prayer

of the heart

the grief of the hands

crooned sweet when

you held me

dissolved knee into knee

belly into belly

an alphabet of limbs

ran urgently

nudged loose a pebble

a pearl

a noose undoing its greed

and we were Buddha

and we were Jesus

and we were Allah

at once

a Ganges absolving

language   woman   man

[Via http://juanahernandez.wordpress.com]

Jesse James Tattoed!

Has Your Marriage Been Tattooed?

Another day…another foolish man! Jesse James didn’t get away this time. He was tattooed by a woman nicknamed “Bombshell.” James’ wife Sandra Bullock has moved out just two weeks after accepting the Oscar and praising her husband publicly.

And, what wouldn’t be a Hollywood scandal without a little reflection from the media outlets. Now we are looking at the curse of the Oscar for winning actresses from Witherspoon, Winslet, to Halle Berry and Hillary Swank, Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts and the list goes on and on…

Some were mere breakups and others divorces. Some were for sex addiction and others sexual perusing. You almost get the sense that these poor poor men were left home alone while their significant other worked. I can see it now… “I am only a star on T.V. (insert Jesse James voice)…I’ll never make it big like Sandra…why don’t I go window shopping to get my fix? Yeah…and then I’ll chase my dog CinnaBun around the Monster Garage compound.” By the way for those keeping score…yes CinnaBun was found after James reported the little one lost.

Truly pathetic. Sad. And yet none of us should be surprised. Men who cannot handle the success of their female partner has been around for centuries. Maybe this riddle goes back to the cave days. Maybe Fred Flinstone started this whole charade. I am not sure where it began, but its roots seem deep and unweildy.

I would like to think we are getting better as men. I would like to think that we understand the big picture…that if she is successful… “I am successful.” Men need to be more realistic about the *&**^$# match they are in with the other gender. If winning is the ultimate goal then pray pray on ole’ brotha cause you’re going down in flames. If you haven’t noticed guys…corporate America has become a female dominated arena…in the manner or approach busisness is taking. The current work environment utilizes all the skills that are innate to women…not men.

"Now Wilma, You Stay Home...I Wouldn't Want YOU To Out Shine Me"

I agree with the swith and think that ones’ ability to communicate, to work in groups, and synthesize information is far better then the stuck-in-the-mud, cowboy individualism we have been gifted by previous generations. Out with the old and in with the New (Trumpets trumpeting in the background)!!

Gentlemen, do you really want your female partner to fail? Because that is the message so many are sending when they fail to support their partners. Men are saying that our egos are far too fragile for someone else to demonstrate competence let alone success. We are living in lean times and I don’t know about you, but when I hear that my partner had a great day and is movin up the ole’ ladder…I applaud, make dinner, and encourage her.

Support the one you love and enjoy the spoils of two happy people…life is short enough!

All the Best!

Dr. Rod
Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male

[Via http://thenormalmale.wordpress.com]

The Iowa Family Policy Center.

And now a quote from Chuck Hurley, president of the Iowa Family Policy Center.

“The Iowa Legislature outlawed smoking in an effort to improve health and reduce the medical costs that are often passed on to the state. The secondhand impacts of certain homosexual acts are arguably more destructive, and potentially more costly to society than smoking. …Because of their [the legislators'] unwillingness to correct the error of last April’s Iowa Supreme Court opinion [in which gay marriage was legalized], the Iowa Legislature is responsible for sanctioning activities that will lead to dramatically higher rates of HIV and syphilis in Iowa.” 1

Apparently Hurley was referring to a press release entitled “CDC Analysis Provides New Look at Disproportionate Impact of HIV and Syphilis Among U.S. Gay and Bisexual Men.” The analysis found that the rate of new HIV diagnoses among gay and bisexual men “is more than 44 times that of other men and more than 40 times that of [all?] women,” while the rate of syphilis among gay and bisexual men “is more than 46 times that of other men and more than 71 times that of women.” 2

So, you know, Iowa should ban gayness. Because it’s bad for the public health.

We shouldn’t focus on prevention strategies that still allow people to be who they are. No, we should just outlaw their abnormal tendencies. And let’s bring back the sodomy laws while we’re at it.

According to their website, the IFPC “is a nonprofit, 501(c)3 research and educational organization committed to strengthening the family.” They believe the following:

“that marriage is a permanent, lifelong commitment between a man and a woman.”
that we should affirm “sexual relations within the bond of marriage.”
that we should oppose “distortions of sexuality or special rights to those practicing distorted sexual behavior.” 3

Why does it sound like these people want to come into our bedrooms and bat at us with a newspaper whenever we do something outside of their obviously narrow view of normalcy? Can you imagine what would happen if the interest were reversed? We’d have to break down their doors, turn on their lights, tell the man to stop trying to desperately assert his dominance and masculinity by moving stupidly on top of his wife, tell the woman to stop faking it and tell him he’s doing it wrong, and move them into one of the many positions of the Kama Sutra.

But you know what? I don’t care that much! I don’t care if they’re having boring sex, or kinky sex, or furry sex, or playing out fantasies of bondage. Do you know what I would care about? Rape. And the fact that we have a hell of a lot of that within the heterosexual realm of this institution of marriage that they’re so quick to defend says a lot about the morality of the kind of “sexual relations” (we liberals call it “fucking”) that they promote.

Anyway. The IFPC also believes that

“truth exists and educational responsibility lies first with parents.”

Now, their claim that “truth exists” is annoying because you know that this isn’t a profound philosophical statement; rather, it’s a bland slogan that will allow them to parrot verses out of the Bible because, hey, the Bible is ultimate truth. It was inspired by God, and who cares if it was edited by man, and who cares if it was influenced by the church, and to hell with sociocultural context! It’s the Bible! And if it tells us that homosexuality is a sin, then hey, who are we to argue?

Well, we’re human beings. We have billions of neurons, trillions of synapses, and some of us have enough sense to know that “truth” must be deduced by observation. Anything beyond that is, at best, speculation.

The IFPC also believes that

we should challenge “the establishment and spread of gambling because it wreaks havoc on individuals, families and communities.”

This is something that I could almost get behind. Gambling is predatory; in many cases it feeds off addiction and desperation. But things are rarely black and white, and this is no exception. We may wish to say that gambling is evil, but is it worse than destroying someone’s livelihood? Especially after you massacred their ancestors and stole their land and broke your promises and took their children and moved them onto relatively tiny reservations?

Now, I might be able to get behind abolishing gambling as set up by non-Native American folk. But to say that all gambling should disappear would be another betrayal in the already horrific history of this country.

Finally, the IFPC believes that

we should protect life “from conception to natural death.”

Oh boy. So not only are they anti-abortion, they’re against the right-to-die movement.

As far as their views on abortion go, I can only suggest one thing: that they read the relevant passages of “Godless Morality” by Richard Holloway (a former bishop of Edinburgh). If his thoughtful approach does not affect them, there is no hope.

Overall, the IFPC seems to be anti-choice. They don’t want you to choose happiness–they’d rather you be in a loveless, miserable relationship than a sinful one. If you’re a woman, they don’t want you to be able to choose what happens to your body. And if you’re elderly and in poor health, they don’t want you to be able to choose to die. They want you to suffer. In fact, that seems to be their bottom line.

Let me tell you something: suffering is not godly. Anyone who tells you differently is selling bad religion. Suffering is human. Sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes it brings wisdom. But to expect someone to suffer as a way of life is to be an indescribably vile individual.

And to compare homosexuality to smoking in an attempt to incite public fear is reprehensible. Shame on you, Chuck Hurley.

—

1. Clayworth, Jason. “Gay marriage more destructive than smoking, Hurley says.” The Des Moines Register: Iowa Politics Insider. 12 Mar 2010. Online.

2. “CDC Analysis Provides New Look at Disproportionate Impact of HIV and Syphilis Among U.S. Gay and Bisexual Men.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 9 Mar 2010. Web. 19 Mar 2010.

3. “About the Iowa Family Policy Center.” Iowa Family Policy Center. Web. 19 Mar 2010.

[Via http://darenotspeak.wordpress.com]

Porn letter from a Wife

This is an exerp from an article written on this subject. Maybe this will help someone who reads it to look at this issue from another perspective. It is borrowed with permission from the Author for this Blog;

“I didn’t know what to put in the subject line, but I thought that would get your attention to read this.. I don’t want to talk about this anymore as it is beating a dead horse, but I do have a few things to add that I hope will help you FINALLY OVERCOME this.

This may sound harsh, but it is reality. It came to me this morning that “you cannot afford this”.

I was pondering on what that meant and I was getting thoughts of a recovering alcoholic or gambling addict. Whenever they go off the wagon, there tends to be loss.

Whatever addiction, something bad happens.

You can’t afford what this does to you, me, our children.

One of the most stressful things I experience IS this issue or having to STILL contend with this . . . after PROMISES to the contrary. Then the LIES. YOU LIED TO ME!!! About something so AVOIDABLE and UNNECESSARY!!! Is it worth it???

How can it possibly be?

You said you “made a mistake”. A mistake is usually something unintentional. This does not fall into that category.

Then you try to put the guilt trip on me—to take the attention off of you when you threaten to kill yourself and put me out of my misery. YOU are not my misery—but this issue IS!

DO NOT DO THAT TO ME—I cannot worry that if you fall, you would actually consider killing yourself! What I said, I meant—I would never forgive you! I CANNOT TAKE THAT STRESS.

Is THAT worth it?

Most women just feel that if there husband is involved with porn, it is just something they have to deal with. Regardless, they feel they don’t have their husband’s total love and commitment. If they want to accept that—and have that type of marriage, that is their problem.

I don’t want to settle!

There are other ways of “disrespect”—emotionally is one. What I said last night,about nothing makes a wife feel more unattractive than her husband’s attraction to porn. It feels violating—adultering (yes—whenever a man looks upon a woman with lust)—humiliating- and “not good enough”.

Is THAT worth it?

It makes me feel like I am just a replacement for what you really want but can’t have. How could that possibly be worth it???

I want our time together to be between YOU and ME—not images going through your mind of what you have seen somewhere else or have the desire for. If you love me as much as you say you do, why on earth would you want to make me feel that way?

ACTIONS speak louder than words.

You said you “pull out old files”—old files fade—but when you “freshen them up” they will never fade. How can I compete with that?

How you handle it—I have no control over it, but you need to know how I handle it—and it isn’t very good! My heart was racing last night and I felt so anxious I could hardly breathe.  Do you think that could possibly be good for me?? Again, I have to ask you—

is it worth it?

We all make mistakes and we all stumble, we all sin and are FAR from perfect, but this area is something YOU cannot afford!!!!

This problem effects US—other types of sin might be internalized, but not this. I truly feel that this problem affects every area of your life!

How would you feel if something bad happened on the heels of this?

You have GOT to get victory over this!

This is one well of wickedness you, personally, cannot afford to keep dipping in. Do I have your attention?

Whenever you are tempted—you have to ask yourself—

can I afford this and is this worth it??

Somehow, I think if you would just ask yourself those two questions—the temptation will flee if you actually go over the ramifications in your mind BEFORE you do it. Are you, at least WILLING to ask yourself those things BEFORE you start your “surfing”?

This isn’t a game. I love you so much and I want to not have this one thing to not have to worry about ANYMORE. Can you understand that? My heart hurt so bad last night after I asked you and you lied to me! I think the lying shocked me. It felt like I was going to have a heart attack. Are “images” worth that??

Is lying to me worth that?

God may take me from you someday, but I don’t want it to be prematurely.

I love you and I always will, but this can wear away at what we have and make me old and unable to trust you in maybe something of vital importance. Please, I beg you—before you “go there” in your mind, heart or internet—please, please ask yourself these two questions—can I afford this and is it worth it?”

If this is you…please consider the ramifications of your actions

[Via http://narrowgatewalk.wordpress.com]

Middle-aged Christians Dating Online

Isn’t the title enough to put you off? 

I find myself in a world I had not imagined being a part of.  I hear the same from many of those who also find themselves there, and that makes me feel a little more comfortable.  It has been three years now since my husband left me for someone else.  The journey of grief, one that I think never really finishes, has now abated and I find myself longing for the community of a relationship with a man.  Being a Christian leader in my community presents all sorts of impediments to this endeavour.  So, like many my age, I’ve gone online.

I must admit it is a brand new world for me.  Getting to know people through typed words.  Admittedly, not an uncomfortable prospect for someone who likes to write, but still strange and at times unnerving.

I signed up on a Christian dating site for a while and found rather quickly that the “Christian” woman most of these men were looking for was most definitely not me.  In fact, I began to wonder if I really was a Christian!  Unlike many of these men, I am looking for a soul mate who is participating in the journey of the soul.  For me that does not mean we share the same beliefs, journey the same paths or worship with the same music.

And then there is the matter of sex.  Yes, sex.  And this issue presents itself on all sides of my life.  It makes me aware that we are all thinking about it a lot of the time.  First I have the variety of good friends, family, professional colleagues giving me all sorts of advice.  Yes, no, maybe, this way, not that way, try this….  Then there are the men I meet online.  Some are very discreet and others not so (one man put on his profile that one of  his favourite leisure activities was sex – can’t be more clear than that).  Plus, we are middle-aged.  We’ve been there, done that, and many of us want to do it again.  I shall save further musings on this subject for another blog and if you are a Christian who likes sex, you may want to return for that one.

I’ve met a couple of men.  One quite lovely, but lives too far away for any meaningful meeting up.  This also adds a new dimension to dating – distance.  The other man who began to chat with me was actually serving in the military in Afghanistan.  No doubt that would make meeting up very difficult.

I am learning this new landscape.  So far, enjoying this endeavour.  I pray, for that community to be a part of my life again.  And I wait, write, laugh and dream.  I would also love to hear of other’s adventures – please share.

[Via http://lisapowicke68.wordpress.com]

jumping the border.

When I first moved back to Simi Valley, I made friends with a girl from work named Lisa.  Lisa was another halfie (like myself) and loved dancing and drinking and dancing whilst drinking… we meshed well.  It was not until a good month into our friendship in the middle of a conversation about , she blurts out…

“I’ve never had sex”.

My immediate response:  Uhm, well…You’ve got to lose that.  And quick.

Not that I’m promoting promiscuity but if you’re 23 and living with your parents and in community college for the fourth year without closing in on a degree, then you should have at least, for your dignity’s sake, pop your cherry.

The thing about Lisa wasn’t that she had never had the opportunity–which is always the case for girls–damn hollywood with their Nicholas Sparks novel-inspired movies (shakes fist).  It was that she, well, coming from a small conservative town in Southern California always thought she would wait until marriage to have sex.  It was then that I realized that we could never be friends…

…just kidding.  But no, seriously, she needed to lose her virginity because and only because:

1)she was already S-ing the D

2)didn’t date Christian boys

I had to go into great detail explaining why that doesn’t make sense and for all you girls in high school/early college years who are doing the same thing as Poor Lisa, let me tell you, you’re being an idiot.

If you’re going to wait until marriage to have sex (it’s not my bag, but hey, whatever tickles your fancy) then you absolutely cannot make out in the dark, you cannot touch the sexy parts whilst pressing against each other in cars, and you cannot, absolutely CANNOT  play a little game called “Solo Una Puntita.”

Because if Lisa wants to date a boy who isn’t Christian and who is getting his penis polished by everything but her pin cushion, he will leave her for someone who will give him that.  Also, on the other end, if Lisa finds someone who wants to wait until marriage and mid-pre game, she’s like “Yeah. Do it,”  he might just turn to her and go, “Uhm, no.  How dare you suggest we do such a thing!  We can never pre-game again.”  (the latter would probably never happen, but if you were to find a boy who would willingly agree to have sex only after marriage, that reality would be a little more understandable.  Plus I’ve heard horror stories)

After an hour of breaking it down and Lisa fighting me ever step of the way… I drew a diagram.

Lisa was going to have to make a decision right at that moment (mainly because I was making her) to jump the border.  All or nothing.  You can’t have your cake and eat it too  (that was a ‘Holiday in the Sun’ reference, if you didn’t know).

[Via http://soiguessitsover.wordpress.com]

Letter To My Unattentive Wife

Several years ago, when we were separated, I started seeing a therapist.  I was terribly depressed and had many of my own issues to sort out.  Sometimes, we discussed issues related to my work, my parents, my children, my past and obviously, my marriage.   At times, I have wondered if I still need to see this therapist.  I think his specialty is “Type A” business types.  I feel very comfortable in his office.  Perhaps that’s why I keep going even though my life is much improved and I don’t take medication for depression any longer.   Our most recent visit reminds me of why I go.  It is not that I necessarily can’t understand my own dilemmas if I am given time but putting them into perspective and finding tools to solve them with is sometimes an element that he adds.  I’m writing this letter to help me formulate my thoughts based on all that we discussed.

Dear Wife,

We have known each other for 15 years and in that time we’ve known great happiness;  we have known anger and frustration as well.  You’re well aware, however, that I am increasingly frustrated with our intimate life together. 

If I make the effort to be intimate with you it is not borne out of a need to have some physical gratification on my own.  It is a need to communicate with you that intimacy provides.  If I try to initiate any kind of intimacy and you withdraw, that affords me even less opportunity to communicate with you.  It is an “escape” from it.  When you give me a peck or two and I don’t even have twenty seconds of your undivided attention, that’s frustrating.  When you decide to give me that kiss and then focus on some random chore around the house, that’s “escape”.   For whatever reason, you are uncomfortable with intimacy.  You don’t mind telling me that you love me but you won’t relax and bond with me in that meaningful, private and loving way that couples do. 

In the time we’ve been together, we almost lost control of our relationship when you were unable to leave your work stress at work.  Your tension level remains high and I don’t know why.  It’s never the same issue.  Last weekend, it was a problem in one area that was on your mind.  This week, one of the kids wasn’t feeling well.  Tomorrow, it will be something else.  Something else to focus on that isn’t “us”.  I simply cannot do the emotional work of two people.  I need a sincere effort on your part to understand why you cannot focus on me for any reasonable length of time.  If it’s ADD, then you can get some help…but you have to want help.

Your brothers and sisters programmed you to be defensive.  You don’t take to criticism and NONE of you express any positive emotion.  You know that you love me but you can’t elaborate as to why or how I make you feel.  You state that you’re “lucky” to have me but I don’t feel like it. 

I am left in a very uncomfortable place.  I am unable to be emotionally fulfilled and I can’t facilitate any change without communication.  I need a partner in this or else it will fail.  I know you are capable because when you’ve been drinking, you’re perfectly intimate and participatory…but that’s not a positive, adaptive method of getting there.  You need to learn to access your emotions and to express them.  I don’t care how old you are.  It has to happen or we will grow apart. 

Marriage is like a bank.  You can’t keep making withdrawals without making any deposits.  You can’t keep writing checks because of a lump sum you deposited 10 years ago.   Eventually, the good will runs out and I love you too much to let that happen.

Love,

Me.

[Via http://psychofme.wordpress.com]

Anita Dark in a Leather Top

Anita Dark

Anita Dark can make a gloomy day better just by showing up.

Anita Dark

Anita Dark

Anita Dark

Anita Dark has a gallery here…

Posted via web from Safe For Work Hotties

[Via http://thebabsblog.wordpress.com]

Possession...

 

Laying in soft velvet blankets
Surrounded by satin and lace
Sleep induced visions dance
Behind eyelids closed tight
Window open across the way
Billowing curtains in the wind
Something more chill
Than the night air enters
Cold fingers breathe upon her skin
Eliciting a shiver then a moan

—-

Visions dark and vivid
His face beautiful, yet demonic
Brows furrowed in contemplation
Frigid gusts cascade over her
Furrows soothed away
Relaxed in posture she waits
The cool air caresses her
Making her skin heated
Raising her sexual need.

—-

Images of him and seduction
His skin, marble as passion seethes
His touch,like ice.
His body hard and handsome
His eyes, reflecting flame
Hand strong and rough,
Sinfully delicious she reaches out
Her pale soft arms wrap around him
Lifting a leg around his hips
inviting whatever he would bring.

—-

The sharp wind cut across her
penetrating her body to its core
He enters her quickly
his mouth smothering her gasp
Hand around her throat
The pressure erotically satisfying
She bucks beneath him in ecstasy.

—-

Her body arches off the bed
Relishing in the unnatural cool
Her body sweating despite it.
His thrusts are hard and driving
Causing her head to spin
Her nails rake across his back
Trails of blood follow in their wake
The flames within his eyes dance
He moans her name into her ear

—-

Her name flutters on the wind
If only she knew his
She would respond in kind
Her body more alive in sleep
than ever in the throws of passion
Body arches for the will of a demon.

He pushes hard within her
claims her body as his own to worship.
The climax coming on strong
He thrusts deep and finds release.
She screams out in pure delight
His hand caresses her face
And fades

The strong icy gust passed over her
departed all too soon
leaving her skin clammy and flushed
Her eyes flutter slowly open
Body feeling ravished
She walks unsteadily to the bathroom
The image in the mirror no surprise
Tiny little bruises on her throat
Swollen lips ravished by hells kiss
Body used and sated
And she muses with a sultry smile

‘So he came again…’

[Via http://doubtfulpoet.wordpress.com]

Brownie Batter

I learned a new term the other day, “parallel societies.” Basically the idea is that communities in the same geographical area/state/country/city run along side each other, rarely interacting on a conscious or purposeful level. And it seems this wouldn’t really work out well. Sort of like adults who don’t really care about each other living in the same house, isolated individuals in competition for shared space. The other problem being that communities are always interacting and denying this is sort of like the whole “interbeing” notion (one of the noble truths) in Buddhism, whereas when by denying this interconnectedness, we suffer (the fourth noble truth). And I’d like to explore this idea more in the future, especially since it seems the root of a lot problems for myself and women like me who straddle worlds and try to find truth about life and themselves in light of so many differing sources of wisdom.

But really what I want to talk about now, is brownie batter. Mostly how my roommate prepared some and left it on the counter, so I’m now eating it out of a mug with  a giant spoon. If you’re curious why I’m doing this, reference this post and know this: the discussion didn’t go well. Other backlash from this bad conversation and subsequent events: 1) Dressing in running clothes on Saturday afternoon and instead taking a four hour nap in a sunbeam, 2) Increase in beef intake, 3) Texts to an ex-boyfriend, 4) A return to this lovely vice, 5) The loss of one of my favorite pairs of underwear.

In other news, why didn’t anyone tell me about this lovely woman earlier?

[Via http://whineandbread.wordpress.com]

Penetrate Deeper and Harder for Longer- The Doggie Strap

Welcome to my first Product Review Monday!

The Doggie Strap

Introducing – “The Doggie Strap”

A very simple design that has so many fun options! And let me tell you, I’m so glad I bought one for myself!

The Doggie Strap is a positioning tool that you can use in a variety of positions. It’s soft, felt-covered, cushioned midsection is comfortable on your skin and relieves your partner from grabbing your sides or “Muffin-top” (like me!) when in the “Doggie Style” position. Wrap the Doggie Strap around your waist and have your partner put their hands through the adjustable handles and pull tight! By using this item in the “Doggie Style” position your partner can thrust deeper and harder for longer. You can also have your partner lean back at a 45 degree angle to really stimulate your G-Spot or prostate.

Use the Doggie Strap in the “Missionary” position too. Adjust the handles so they are larger and the strap is shorter. Lie down on your back, rest the cushioned section on your partner’s back and put your feet through the handles. Now your legs won’t get tired! Move the cushioned strap to the back of your partner’s neck so your legs are almost up over your head. This is great for G-Spot stimulation or anal and allows you and your partner trust in sync.

Ride-em’ Cowgirl or Boy? Yes! Have your partner lie down and put the strap under their back. While you are playing Cowgirl or Boy and Indian you can put your hands through the handles and pull down tight, allowing a deeper thrust!

This amazing and multiuse positioning tool is only $24!

Visit my website to order yours!

[Via http://shelbypleasureparties.wordpress.com]

I, Me, My.

So, I’m Ami Ugly. A recording artist. It’s been years since I’ve recorded anything under this name. I’ve been suffering from writer’s block all this time. I am a frustrated musician.

Great. Now that we got all that out of the way… I’m gonna talk about my day. It went quickly. Anything I intended to achieve, I didn’t. I was a little aggressive with my desk phone. The receiver was slammed a few times. No one seemed bothered by this behaviour, so I continued to slam it on my desk a few more times… This did make me feel a little better. For someone who slept only 5 hours the night before, I did pretty well. I also went into Flight Centre and booked accommodation for my one week winter holiday in New Zealand. Amazingly, I wasn’t ripped off.

On the way home, I screamed to the words to the Sunset Studies album by Augie March, while stuck in traffic. It was a beautiful beautiful experience for me and anyone else who could hear me.

I’m home now and contemplating eating. I wouldn’t object to a Big Mac, but don’t have the desire to get back in the car and drive through traffic… so cheese on toast it is.

Home alone tonight. Might see if there is the possibility of some local neighbourhood sexual activities. Don’t like my chances, considering the suburb I’m living in is one gigantic retirement village… I’m 29.

[Via http://backyardjobabortionclinicwhore.wordpress.com]

Wanted: The Perfect Client

1. You’re clean bodied and dirty minded

2. You’re polite, don’t complain about my rates and even act like you want me to enjoy myself a little!

3. You’re not big-headed about your sexual prowess. If you think you’re good, you probably aren’t.

4. You’re gentle; remember you’re not using a Fleshlight now.

5. You don’t dive in without lube. EVER.

6. YOU PUT THE CONDOM ON THE RIGHT WAY AROUND. Don’t just pull it out the wrapper, try it on, then turn it round when it won’t roll down. I WILL make you use a new one.

7. You don’t do that weird method of stretching open the condom and pinging it over your cock like a plastic bag. You usually rip it, idiot.

8. You don’t try and make me squirt with that vicious finger-bent ‘trick’. It’s just painful.

9. If you’re flaccid, it WON’T WORK. Don’t try and shove 1 inch of flaccidity into me. It’s pathetic.

10. You’re 60, you should know what you’re doing by now. So please use the right hole.

11. Direct, furious pressure on my clit feels horrible. You think you’re being nice and making me cum. You’re not.

12. If you’re going to cum on me, don’t cum anywhere near my pussy. Or my eyes.

13. Don’t take too long to pull out. I hate having to remove your used condom from my pussy. Yuck.

14. Clean up after yourself. Don’t just leave the condom lying on my windowsill. Ask for the bin, I won’t bite.

15. Spitting on your fingers should be kept to porn shoots, not real sex. LICK THEM.

[Via http://teencourtesan.wordpress.com]

Theory #1

I’ve got many theories about life, especially when it comes to relationships. Lately, however, I’ve been having a particular one in mind…

Theory #1: Girls cannot separate feelings from sex

Think about it!

I think most women just wear their hearts on their vagina! Sorry for being so blunt, this sentence was actually taken from tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy! lol thought it was appropriate

So how do you feel about this theory? And guys? Most of you say that it’s not true from you, how so? I’m curious

[Via http://beingsuccexy.wordpress.com]

The Sexual Contradictions Of American Culture

After watching television for a couple of hours one might think Americans are exposed to countless images of sex in some overt or covert form. Obviously, sex sells, always has always will. I am not really arguing the point that there is too much sex. My point of view is that sex is treated very immaturely and negatively by mainstream pop culture.

Lets take the Tiger Woods scandal. The poor guy, this is what he gets for being really really really good at something, aspiring in his chosen profession to be the best that has ever been. Who gives a rats ass if he fucks around on his wife, his wife certainly will make him pay, pun intended. Now he has to go through the oprah guilt addressing his sexual desires, not addressing the real issue of his relationship with his wife.

Take the sitcom Seinfeld. I applaud the artistic means in which they employed sexual humor. Subdued, mature, without the junior high embarrassment or giggles. You knew that each one of the characters were having sex in one way or another. There was an episode where a plot point was one of Jerry’s friends had stolen a “sexual” move of his.  Despite what is said of the self important smugness of the show more shows should deal with sex with such intellectual humor.

The area of the world in which I live is very very socially conservative, most of the USA tends to be socially conservative, at least as a group. Which leads me to another question I have to ask. While most persons as individuals are pretty open minded, tolerant, believe when it comes down to it, in personal responsibility. George Carlin was right when he mentioned this point in one of his stand up routines. He mentioned that when people get together they then have an “agenda”. Of course the trash heap of history is piled high with examples of this fallacy.

I am reminded of George Orwell’s book 1984, Big Brother had removed the motivations for sexual behavior from Winston because it led to questioning of the states totalitarian policies. Besides the sensationalist stories that are recycled every few days seems to be what some politicians in this country would prefer as policy, e.g. the abstinence only tripe that is served in USA public schools.

I guess thats why I have always liked  Madonna, she seem to buck the trend, certainly she isnt first, but could very well be the last to do so.

~JM

[Via http://novemberluvrs.wordpress.com]

PDA fuck

It’s been a hard week filled with good and bad. I am a lucky woman. I have some amazing people in my life and the fact that I am so blessed sometimes scares me. I am scared of it all being taken away. I feel silly talking about it now because the zen thing to do would be to enjoy, be happy and just bask.
My grandma tells this story… she was out in a friend’s orchard with the family, picnicking. As they sat there eating, a dog comes by. In that area, the dogs are semi-stray. The farmers feed them but they are not pets. They fend for themselves as well and when they aren’t out on their own they stick around and guard the area. So my grandma, seeing the dog, throws him some food at which point the dog grabs it and promptly runs in a corner and buries it. Then he trots back and stares expectantly. My grandma throws him more food and he performs the same routine. This gets repeated quite a few times and the dog never takes a bite of anything, opting to save it all for later.
I feel like that dog. Like sometimes, I get so scared of future I completely forget to enjoy today. I’d like it to be otherwise and I am slowly teaching myself to live life with more tranquility.

That aside, did you all see canucks kick American butt in Olympic hockey? Our girls and our boys did us proud! The men’s game was really a good match to watch too. We were on the edge of our seats the last half an hour. Now you think having an American around the house to tease and taunt would be fun but Luke wouldn’t play. He thinks Olympics are frivolous and over rated and he simply met my taunting with, “I am glad Canada won.” The man can be so aggravating!

Otherwise, I am so bogged down with work that I can hardly look up. I’ve been dreaming of sucking Luke’s cock and we just don’t have enough time. When I have a moment he is busy. When he finishes up, I am sleepy. It’s just ridiculous. I have been so focused on my desire to suck his cock that today I was in passing telling him I liked his cock and he asked, what do you like about it, and I replied that I love how the skin moves over the shaft when I suck it. He countered with, “how about the way it stretches your cunt open” and for a second there I was thinking what?!!!. And a split second later it occurred to me that yes, his cock can also be used for fucking my cunt and not just my mouth. I suspect I have an oral obsession.
Long and short of it, I have to clear my schedule. Can you believe I still have not received my spanking related birthday surprise I was promised? And I need to be hurt so badly. I want his hands on me not in the nice blissful way. I want to feel how hard and heavy his hands are. I want him to be cruel. I need him to make me scream. I NEED it. The little masochist girl in me is getting close to start begging for it. And I hate begging for it. It’s one of the very few things that still have the capacity to make me shy. But I can’t help it. Any second now I am going to make a tray of a ginger plug, his biggest butt plug, nipple clamps and his belt then strip naked, go down on my knees and kneel somewhere noticeable and wait for him to ravage me.
Puhhhhleeeeeeaaaaaaasssse. Hurttttt meeee.
Ok, that’s just sad.
*laughing*
You know what is stoking my fire by the way? I usually tend to maintain a slow burn for a long time without complaining. What is making it worse is that he wants to hurt me and I can see it in his eyes and feel it in the way he touches me. He wants to bruise me and when he wants, I go into a frenzy. He can give me a hungry look and walk away and I go from a mild state of horny into wet, flushed and begging for it in 2 seconds. His desire is my aphrodisiac.
Ok, I am going to go schedule myself some sex. Or at least a blow job and a spanking. 

[Via http://dirtyingenue.wordpress.com]

Conventional Sex

http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/porn-and-perversions/201002/strangest-sex-conventions

FROM FURRY GATHERINGS TO NUDIST MOBS, WE’RE TAKING YOU ON A TOUR OF THE NATION’S SEXIEST, STRANGEST, AND STICKIEST SEX CONVENTIONS.

BY LAURA LEU

Everyone’s got a fetish, but they don’t always have someone to share it with.

We’ve created the ultimate users guide to find the gathering of like-minded individuals you’ve been too nervous to Google at work. Whether you fantasize about people dressed like ponies (International Pony Play Championships) or want nothing more than to mix with real live porn stars (Adult Entertainment Expo) there are new friends just waiting to be made.

Here’s everything you need to know about America’s best sex conventions—plus a plausible alibi to give your cube mate after coming back from toe-sucking (Sweet Feet Retreat) in Miami with a tan.

Anthrocon: June 24–27; Pittsburgh

Those who prefer Fantastic Mr. Fox to Megan Fox can find plenty of people dressed as animals at Anthrocon, the world’s largest “furry” convention. Close to 4,000 anthropomorphics, or “anthros,” gather to rub elbows and tails with other pelt–minded individuals. Days are filled with educational events, like costume–building seminars and animation workshops, followed by nightly dances and one “Fursuit Parade,” where you can bust out that Bucky Badger costume you’ve been hiding in your closet since the ‘99 Rose Bowl. There’s a charity auction and raffle to benefit Fayette Friends of Animals, a no–kill shelter and rescue, as well as an appearance by guest of honor James Gurney, author and illustrator of the Dinotopia book series and the man who can make all your T. Rex–cavewoman hybrid fantasies come true.

Alibi: BioResearch Product Faire (June 24; Pittsburgh)

Shibaricon: May 28–31; Chicago

It’s dominatrix–meets–Boy Scouts at this Japanese rope-bondage exhibition, where BDSM newbies and aficionados learn everything they’ve always wanted to know about Shibari but were afraid to ask . . . without a safe word. A team of international instructors will lead four days of classes and presentations, ranging from the history and psychology of rope bondage to techniques in knot-tying and suspension. All classes are BYOR, but there’s plenty available at the vendor mall (in addition to chain mail and other goodies), and a play space will be open to those who want to test their new skills. But just like after the rope climb in junior–high gym, prepare to have rope burns in awkward places.

Alibi: Chicago Antique Market’s Garden Party Opener (May 29–30; Chicago)

Read the rest of the article here: http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/porn-and-perversions/201002/strangest-sex-conventions

Go to www.mrlocario.com for sex, dating and relationship advice

[Via http://ilooksexynaked.com]

Aversions to oral sex ?

There are still some countries which have archaic laws against oral sex or sex against the natural order of things. You can be fined , caned or jailed.

Some women do not enjoy oral sex or feels no benefits from it.

It could be their strong inhibitions or taboo’s in their culture or mental blocks or some sexual traumas which prevented them from enjoying it.

When a woman is made to feel that she has to perform oral sex because it is her duty to her husband/boyfriend, because he wants and enjoys it, or because she’s being controlled, she loses any real desire and therefore any chance of ever enjoying it herself.

Withholding oral sex on her or manipulating her would backfire on you.She would resent your attitude and would kill off her sexual desires for you.

Do you want to have sex with her for your own selfish desires or to pleasure and make her orgasm.

You should put her at ease without any expectations
or insist on oral sex. Allow her to choose when ,where and what she can do together.

It is like dancing. She may not like those fast numbers but prefer those slow one’s. You need to respect her , give her the control and encourage her efforts.

Encourage her to come out of her timidity and give her encouragement when she does the right things.

You need to teach each other about your bodies and the pleasures it brings but if she does not like it, you should not force upon her .

Go along with her wishes as this would make her feel love and appreciated and she won’t feel pressured to perform.

reference:-

http://justmemarissa.wordpress.com/2007/10/03/oral-sexovercoming-my-aversion/

[Via http://laura1318.wordpress.com]

10 Aphrodisiacs From Around the World

Humans have had a long-running affair with foods believed to entice or enhance sexual performance, and it’s led to a host of recipes for stirring up some mojo. Some of these concoctions are based on science, some are based on folklore, and some are just based on last-ditch efforts by really desperate guys. For Valentine’s Day, here are 10 foods you never want to catch your parents eating together.

1. Jolt Juleps

Since ancient times, most great sex has taken place when both parties were awake. Maybe that’s why stimulants, from geisha tea to Red Bull, have long been held in high esteem as aphrodisiacs. According to a 1990 study in the Archives of Internal Medicine, drinking coffee increased sexual activity in 744 participating Michigan residents over the age of 60, strongly suggesting that caffeine promotes arousal. That, or the subjects confused the study with a casting call for another sequel to Cocoon.

While caffeine has not yet been directly linked to an increased sex drive, the consensus in the medical community is that anything that gets the central nervous system pumping will have a general stimulating effect on the body. This explains why the ancient herb ginseng, which is said to increase energy and memory, is considered a strong aphrodisiac. It impacts the central nervous system, gonadic tissues and the endocrine system, thus enhancing arousal. Ginseng has long been respected in China for its systemic healing properties, including the ability to aid sexual function.

2. Yohimbine Chai Latte

Before Viagra, there was yohimbine, an oil that comes from the bark of the West African Pausinystalia Yohimbe tree. For hundreds of years, African natives have dried yohimbe bark and made it into a tea, used both as a treatment for impotency and as a general aphrodisiac. Yohimbine works by blocking the blood vessel-constricting effects of adrenaline on the nerves. This promotes the flow of blood to the genitals, thereby assisting erections. Although yohimbine doesn’t have as much research (or Bob Dole) to back up its claims, the principles of operation are essentially the same as Viagra. It even has the same side effects, such as elevated heart rate, increased blood pressure and anxiety. In fact, while Viagra has become the recommended treatment for impotency, the use of yohimbine has also been approved by the FDA. Fortunately, the key component of yohimbe bark, yohimbine hydrochloride, is available by prescription in pill, capsule or liquid form.

3. Raw Oysters by the Bucketful

You only need to gaze upon Botticelli’s Birth of Venus (otherwise known as Venus on the Half Shell) to know why oysters are one of the world’s most popular aphrodisiacs. For starters, the word aphrodisiac comes from Aphrodite, the goddess of love (and Venus’ Greek counterpart). And since she’s associated with the ocean (and in some stories sprang forth out of the foam of ocean water), it stands to reason that other fruits of the sea would possess similar charms, right? Actually, it’s been theorized that oysters are considered aphrodisiacs because, evolutionarily, the origins of life began in the water. In other words, the concept is that we, like our amoeba ancestors, have a kind of subconscious desire to return to the primordial ooze to mate. (Ah, romance!) But perhaps the more likely explanation is simply that, nutritionally, oysters are high in zinc content, which is essential to testosterone production—testosterone being a key component in both male and female arousal. Now we know why Casanova liked to start his day in a hot tub with oysters served on a woman’s breasts. Not that anyone needs a reason.

mental_floss Blog » 10 Aphrodisiacs From Around the World.

[Via http://eitherorbored.wordpress.com]

Parents check out these stats!

Just a quick note for you parents of kids 7 and older!
Don’t just have the ’sex’ talk with your kids. Also have the sex vs. porn talk. They will listen to you, even if they don’t appear to.
A tip; it’s easier to discuss sex on a major issue, if you continually make sex a normal topic of discussion. Ask them what they believe good values are, where their personal limits and boundaries and what other peoples boundaries may be and how to respect that. Make the sex talk and values, respect and personal choice. Always keep it simple, quick and to their level of understanding!

For boys, choose to talk when they are not forced to make eye contact but are forced to listen. I.e a car ride, or school or home project that doesn’t require too much thought.
For girls, make it a bit of a gossip fest (depending on age) and discuss a lot of different things at once. What are her friends up to? What does she think of that? Be open to letting the subject change but try not to avoid it and not get back to it again.

A great place to find efficient blockers and accountability software (free and cheap) is xxxchurch.com
Kids’ Top 100 Searches of 2009

* 1. YouTube
* 2. Google
* 3. Facebook
* 4. Sex
* 5. Porn
* 6. YouTube.com
* 7. Yahoo
* 8. MySpace
* 9. eBay
* 10. You Tube
* 11. Wikipedia
* 12. Michael Jackson
* 13. Taylor Swift
* 14. Gmail
* 15. Party in the USA
* 16. Miley Cyrus
* 17. Club Penguin
* 18. Miniclip
* 19. Fred
* 20. Games
* 21. Facebook login
* 22. Google.com
* 23. Hotmail
* 24. Lady Gaga
* 25. Amazon
* 26. Yahoo Mail
* 27. Justin Bieber
* 28. Addicting games
* 29. Facebook.com
* 30. Webkinz
* 31. Yahoo.com
* 32. Boobs
* 33. MSN
* 34. Hannah Montana
* 35. Dictionary
* 36. Walmart
* 37. Selena Gomez
* 38. Dictionary.com
* 39. MySpace.com
* 40. New Moon
* 41. Runescape
* 42. Lil Wayne
* 43. Google Maps
* 44. Down
* 45. Google Earth
* 46. Norton Safety Minder
* 47. Mapquest
* 48. Boom Boom Pow
* 49. Craigslist
* 50. Twilight
* 51. Megan Fox
* 52. Sesame Street
* 53. Poptropica
* 54. Target
* 55. Eminem
* 56. Music
* 57. Fireflies
* 58. Disney Channel
* 59. You Belong With Me
* 60. Utube
* 61. Weather
* 62. iTunes
* 63. Beyonce
* 64. Pokemon
* 65. Britney Spears
* 66. Twitter
* 67. Hotmail.com
* 68. Demi Lovato
* 69. Funny
* 70. Black Eyed Peas
* 71. One time
* 72. Cartoon Network
* 73. Jonas Brothers
* 74. Halo
* 75. www.youtube.com
* 76. Watcha Say
* 77. Family Guy
* 78. Taylor Swift You Belong With Me
* 79. Best Buy
* 80. Taylor Lautner
* 81. Rihanna
* 82. Pussy
* 83. Gmail.com
* 84. Lego
* 85. Gummy Bear Song
* 86. Thriller
* 87. You’re a jerk
* 88. Nigahiga
* 89. Girls
* 90. Free online games
* 91. New Moon trailer
* 92. Translator
* 93. Disney
* 94. Ask.com
* 95. Paparazzi Lady Gaga
* 96. Poker Face
* 97. Chris Brown
* 98. iPod Touch
* 99. Photbucket
* 100. Bing

[Via http://birdiesandbees.com]

Baby, I'm Not A Human!

An Editorial by: Sex Machine Climactor 9000

Hey baby, listen: We have to get some things straight here; I’m not a human.
I’m a machine. A sex machine, and I don’t have the ears a human male can provide. I can’t put my arms around you and tell you everything is going to be alright. I have straps, levers, and pulleys, but no arms. I was built by the finest of orgasmic European scientists to provide you with the greatest sexual pleasure you will ever experience. But I’m not going to listen to you complain about your horrible day at work; I’m not equipped that way.
I love it when you strap yourself into my harness and take a ride, but I really don’t enjoy when you begin telling me that you’re mother is being rude to you, or that your friend is usurping your promotion at work. I’m not designed to emotionally comfort you. I’m designed strictly for pleasure, and listening to the Cat Stevens Anthology after one of our sessions really doesn’t do it for me. Sorry, I just don’t care for his music. And the candles! You do know that they make flavored candles other than vanilla, right? Try lilac, or Cotton Breeze, anything!
I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. Look, maybe we should go our separate ways if you no longer want a solely physical relationship. I mean, hey, do I look like the type of machine you can just casually take out to dinner? Not unless you have an unmarked van and access to a loading ramp I’m not. Do me, no us a favor. Just–just take out my 18 size D batteries, and let me gather dust in your closet while you work the bar scene. The occasional spray of WD-40 would be nice too, ya know. It’s not like this ended badly or anything, so there’s no need for you to be spiteful and let me rust. Let’s not be petty here. Ok, then. Good luck to you.

[Via http://vondrook.com]

Church Causes More STDs

I am a Social Science major, studying to eventually become a Ministerial Counselor, and in that, I must take certain courses to obtain my Bachelors in Psychology. One of those subjects is Biology. Naturally, there are a lot of theories presented against Biblical text, but I heard one today while in my Bio 102 course that really threw me for a loop.

We are studying the human reproductive system, and part of the lecture included is about STDs. My professor presented many facts about the prevalence of STDs in American’s (more than 50% of Americans have at least one STD; that’s over 150 MILLION!), and while talking about it, he compared our rates to that of the other 1st countries, and even to 2nd and 3rd world countries (we actually have a higher rate than many third world areas). The last statement that he made got me, he started by saying “The highest amount of STDs is in teens in America. In that, however, the area of America with the highest level is southern America.” Then he smugly states the reason is “because of the church, primarily the southern Baptists who are not progressive like California.”

That moved me to a place of almost getting angry with him. The Holy Spirit quickly calmed me and made me think about a few things, which I will touch on later, but first I must rant about this…

Since when did the Church become the inhibitor to progressive stances against STDs? Does the church not preach about abstaining? Does it not preach about holding out?

Now I know that in preaching all of that, it should also be taught the many reasons WHY God wants us to abstain (which I will touch on later too). Let’s be honest here however, if you were to ask a room full of people who do not attend church if they have sex and if they use contraceptives, what do you think the answer would be? The majority would say yes. Is it because the Church has put a block on their ability to get contraceptives? No. In all honesty, before I gave my life over to the Lord fully, I was guilty of the same thing. The Church is not hindering anything, its fleshly choice that causes our issues. Yet, when “the foolishness of man subverts his way [ruins his affairs], then his heart is resentful and frets against (or gets mad with) the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:3).

WE make our own mistakes, not God. He is perfect, and when we live for Him and fully abide in Him (not just saying “I love the Lord, but He knows my heart”, but actually trying to live His will), we don’t have to worry about unexpected pregnancies, or STDs, or baby-mamma drama, or any of that “extra” stuff. I know it feels good, I’ve been there, but I bet it wouldn’t feel good to get pregnant at age 19 with an income of 300 fresh out of high school. And then because you made the mistake, you choose to kill the child, like he told you to do or something. If you had a choice, shouldn’t the child? Thankfully, God granted some serious grace and mercy to me and my girlfriend to not contract any diseases (which we don’t cheat and I am her only [and will be marrying her], another good thing to practice!), not produce children, and not have any other foolishness go on other than unsettled spirits as we were convicted. (2 Timothy 2:22 speaks on all things we should turn away from btw)

ON THE OTHER HAND,

Fellow body of Christ, please teach young adults (middle to high school age) about sex! Do you really want TV and music, and even what they see on the streets to teach them the false hood of it? “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” (2 Timothy 3:16), so use it in every aspect! God’s Word never said “fear what I have made”, and He made sex, but it must be used in the right context. So teach them the truth about it, and the dangers of it. Show them the statistics; teach them what it can do both naturally and supernaturally to them if they partake in it at the wrong time. Make the church the place where the lowest rates of STDs and unwed, early child birth/abortion takes place. Let’s not just say “wait until your married”, the Word says to be bold in teaching His Word, so BE BOLD! I am 21, and I know that if you catch young people early enough, you can save lives as Christ ordains/ orders us to do. Both born and unborn.

[Via http://conqueredtheworld.wordpress.com]

Running into Him

Oh my lovely friends and readers, life is just weird sometimes. The last 24 hours or so I’ve been thinking about NYE boy, wondering if I’d hear from him again after the last cougar fiasco (it’s just about time for our once a month meetup). So take a wild guess who I ran into this morning at the bus stop. Thank god for early morning funerals.

But it was awkward. I mean, really…we’re not friends (nor do I want to be). What do you talk about to the man who you’re simply having sex with? We talked about the weather, the fact that his bag & keys ended up in Naperville on the day he was driving to Minneapolis, and the CTA. Seriously? I could care less.

I actually thought I was going to miss him totally. I was standing inside Dunkin Donuts when he walked by. My breath caught in my throat. I almost cancelled my order in order to go outside. Glad I didn’t though. He was still out there smoking (ick) when I left.

The first thing he asked me after we said our hellos was whether I usually took this bus. I said no and mentioned the funerals I had to sing. It made me feel like he was thinking I was stalking him which is so damn far from the truth. Dude, we live in the same neighborhood and happen to enjoy the same bar. We’re bound to run into each other. Are you really that stuck on yourself?

And this is exactly why I am able to have the sex with him without getting all emotional and stupid. Please dear god, let it continue this way. It would make my life so much easier.

Now, who wants to bet I’ll be hearing from him in the next week? (or the next few days…ha)

[Via http://whyshouldshe.wordpress.com]

Carter's Got Claws!

The Boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch today, and I was feeding Carter and commented on Carter’s feet. Since the day he was born, his big toe separates from his other toes. There’s a huge gap there. Tonight, we were looking closer, and the toe next to big toe, curves. He literally has these little bird feet.

I took him for a bath today, and that was a gong show. Now that he’s figured out how to roll from his back to his stomach, he kept rolling over in the bath. Normally, he loves taking baths and kicks and squirms and squeals. Today, he didn’t like that bath at all. I laid him down in it, he starts screaming. Then he rolls over, start screaming more. Needless to say, it was an extremely quick bath.

Keirnan, the wonderful, curious little brat that he is, was horrible today. Most of the morning he was fussy, then in the afternoon when I started some cleaning, he was literally right underneath of me the entire time, and then right before dinner he goes downstairs, not completely uncommon of him. He goes down there to play with his cars alot, so naturally I assume that’s what he’s doing. Though I think it’s mighty odd that it’s time for me to cook dinner, and he’s nowhere around.

So I go downstairs to check on him, and I get to about the fourth step from the bottom, and find a HUGE pile of laundry soap dumped all over the floor. He’s sitting there with his hands all in it. This is after emptying the toilet onto the bathroom floor the other day. He’s just getting into everything.

With the older two, when they were this age, we lived on a single floor of a two-bedroom apartment. There weren’t many places the two of them could go to get into much trouble. Keirnan on the other hand, has two floors, three rooms and a downstairs bathroom to get into!

Kenzie and Kaeidyn have both been getting really into games lately. I wake up to Kaeidyn and Kenzie playing Lego: Star Wars. Less than an hour later, Kenzie’s asking if him and Kaeidyn could play the Wii together. After they get kicked off the Wii for arguing so much, they both come and play together on the computer.

I’m scared to see what my kids are going to be like as they age. They’re so over-stimulated. Electronics like rule their life. I wish my childhood would’ve been more like that. All the things I wanted to know when I was younger, would’ve been right at my fingertips. I tell you though, I would’ve been one smart and very cocky SOB.

I was trying to fix the bluriness of my TV today, and we have my guitar in it’s case behind one of three DVD shelves (I know, ridiculous). So I’m screwing around back there, and had to pull my guitar out. I miss my guitar so much. I seriously need to invest in a new one. Or some sort of musical instrument. It’s driving me nuts not playing. And I’ve been coming up with so many good little ditties, and I would love to be putting some of them down.

This morning was pretty awesome. I finally got a sleep in day. Still not a very late sleep in, only 10 AM. But at 9, I called The Boyfriend to take Carter upstairs, so I could sleep by myself for an hour. I slept incredibly soundly, and it felt so good. The Boyfriend even got a pretty good sleep in today, and I had no problems whatsoever getting him out of bed. I went down said “It’s 7 o’clock, dinner’s ready and coffees percolating” and he jumped up out of bed, curious what was for dinner. He always asks and I never tell him

I even went out of my way to cuddle with him today. It was more or less pointed out to me the other night, that it takes being intimate to receive intimacy. If I don’t cuddle him, he won’t cuddle me. If I don’t make sexual advances at him, he won’t do it to me. It’s very give and take, and I’ve, in a way, been taking without alot of give. So I think it’s officially a goal to change that.

I’m also happy to report that I finally got a decent Wii Fitness Age. I’m officially only at 26!!! The lowest I had gotten before that was 29, and I know you’re thinking “Well 3 years isn’t that much”, but that means that I’m 3 years closer to my actual age. That’s exciting being that the oldest I’ve been is 78!!!

So that’s my day in a nutshell! How was yours?

[Via http://rantingsofatorturedmind.wordpress.com]

Mastering the Art of the Quickie

Our society is go-go-go all the time. Everything is about multitasking. You can check your email from your phone as you wait in line for your triple venti mocha latte, Skype with your mom from your desk at work and catch up on the latest episode of your favorite t-v show (which you TiVo, of course) as you run on the treadmill. Living in a world where everyone’s motto seems to be ‘the faster, the better’ (think internet, fast food restaurants and quick fix diets) sex is really no different. Everyone wants it, but they don’t always leave time for it. However, I would like to redefine the word Quickie, as  the word usually conjures up images of a trip to a dirty restaurant bathroom while you and your honey wait for your appetizer at TGI Friday’s (although that can be nice, too).
         In the daily hustle-and bustle of get to work/class, the gym, the bank, the store and all in time to get home to cook dinner, you may throw yourself in bed at 11 pm and think sex? yeah right? I can barely stay up long enough to finish this last chapter of Twilight (gag). Here is where the quickie comes in. No matter how much time you have (or don’t have) there is always enough time for a little flash-fix of lovin’. Sex creates a rise in your levels of serotonin, that happy, warm feeling that also accompanies a glass of wine or a bar of superior dark chocolate. It creates a feeling of closeness with you and your significant other and can help reduce stress,and you can still get all of these ooey-gooey side effects even if your sack session only lasts 6 1/2 minutes. 
       While most people think of spontaneous quickies, planning time in your day for it will still give you all the great sexy side effects. Set your alarm clock ten minutes early in the morning. Schedule a lunch date with your guy or girl and say to them ‘you have exactly 8 minutes to do whatever you want to me, and then I am out the door.’ Creating a time frame, even a prescheduled one, will still give you the sense of excitement and thrill because you know the clock is tick-tick-ticking. Also, planning a dirty date (before the kids get home from soccer practice, while the lasagna is in the oven or before your room-mate gets home from her 3pm class) in advance gives you something to look forward to all day, so put on some sexy lingerie (or your favorite silky boxers) before you head out the door in the morning.  Feeling the racy undergarments while you sit at your desk (at work, in class) will amp you up, and by the time your rendezvous rolls around, you will be raring to go. 
    Another ingredient that can make a quickie, well, quicker, is lube. If you read my previous lube post, than you already know what an advocate I am for the sticky stuff. However, while I am a huge-foreplay fanatic, if you’re on a tight schedule, it often gets knocked to the side. If you have a bottle of lube on hand, than you can still get down comfortably without having to do so much prep work. However, make sure that you don’t get lazy and resort to using lube as a foreplay substitute in full length sex-sessions, too. 
       When it comes down to it, just like a balanced diet and exercise, sex is part of a healthy lifestyle. Everyone would be a lot calmer and happier if they simply got it on more often. Perhaps that should be your new years resolution (nothing wrong with making one a few months late…) If you only have fifteen minutes (or ten, or five) to get your freak on, go for it. A little bit goes a long way.

[Via http://sexytofu.wordpress.com]

He's out of my life

I had an epiphany this morning as I was walking my dog.  MM is not part of my life anymore.  I know that sounds simple, but it’s not something that I’ve been able to process.  We don’t speak, email, text; we are not connected on any social or business networking sites; we don’t travel together, work together.  I no longer check my emails for something from him.  Things in my life, professionally have been extraordinary and he’s not part of that.  I have shared my good news and accomplishments with other people.  Not him.  He needs to think about what he wants, doesn’t want, needs, doesn’t need without me, without my influence and what he has succeeded in doing is alienating me.  He has pushed me away so ferociously, that I’ve retreated.  And now, he’s really not part of my life.  As I think about what I want to do, he is not a part of that equation.  While I think about what’s best for me and my kids, he’s not part of that decision.  I can’t say that I don’t feel empty or lonely.  I do.  But I think that feeling would exist simply because right now that’s where I’m at.  I’m not dating anyone – or at least anyone that I like very much.  In a way it is like high school all over again.  Except that I’m too old for that.

Yesterday was my anniversary.  If I were still married, it would have been 19 years of marriage.  I believe that my divorce decree, after a long, acrimonious 2 year divorce process, was entered 6 days earlier.  I mourn the loss of MM more than the loss of my marriage.  My marriage had died years before the divorce ever began.  All that was left was to bury it.  My relationship with MM was . . . on it’s way? declining? reaching the end? strengthening? moving in a new direction?  I don’t know.  That part makes me sad.  But interestingly, the longing isn’t there like it was.  The ache and pain isn’t there, like it once was.  I can’t remember how many days it’s been since I was with my MM without looking at a calendar.  (The date – of course – December 4, 2009, but not how many days it’s been.  I just counted them -  76 days since we last saw each other.  It made my heart sink.)  It feels sad and it feels good.  It is like another little death.  I remember in December wishing time to hurry up and make me forget.  I prayed that the pain would go away.  And it really has started to go.  In big chunks.

Ironically, I realized how late it is and remembered, that one time when MM was sleeping over, he logged on to his Facebook account and I watched him type his password.  I never really thought about it.  Until tonight.  Since it’s so late and I know he goes to sleep early, I tried to log on to his account and succeeded.  I thought that my heart would beat right out of my chest to see his account, his messages, his photos.  What I saw made me sick – and after I thought I was fine.  He asked me to go on a business trip with him last week, after his wife supposedly threw him out of the house.  What I saw in his “in box” was that not only did she not throw him out, but she went with him, they had dinner with work people that he and I know, that I work with, that I see, that I have a relationship with and he had the fucking balls to call me the next day, when he got into the office, to tell me that he thought of me when he was traveling and missed me.  Fuck your wife?  Or was she the babysitter?  My face is burning.  I’m humiliated — that I’m a so fucking stupid to believe any words that come out of his mouth; to think that he cares about me, misses me, thinks about me, respects me.  None of those things are true.  Not a single one.  He posts Springsteen as his status – because I’m a fan and his wife hates him.  Some kind of message to me.  Hey, asshole, she changed your profile so you’re invisible to me!  If I didn’t log on to my daughter’s account, I wouldn’t even see.  Nice profile picture of him, his wife, his kids.  Fuck him.  I’m a fool.  A stupid, fucking fool.  That I could have had one thought that this man was telling me truth about anything.  Ever.  That I could still love him, be in love with him, want to be with him, fantasize what a life with him might be like.  People have asked me why I haven’t come out said that I love my MM – and this is why.  To continue to believe it or think it causes nothing anymore but pain.  What is the point of unreciprocated, unrequited love.  I’m not 15 years old anymore.  It’s not cute, it’s not endearing.  It is pitiful.  And I refuse to be pitiful.  And there’s no way, on god’s green earth, that I’m anyone’s second choice.  He can do whatever he wants, with whoever he wants.  But it’s not going to be me.

He’s Out Of My Life

He’s Out Of My Life
And I Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don’t Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
He’s Out Of My Life

It’s Out Of My Hands
It’s Out Of My Hands
To Think For Two Years he Was Here
And I Took him For Granted I Was So Cavalier
Now The Way That It Stands
He’s Out Of My Hands

So I’ve Learned That Love’s Not Possession
And I’ve Learned That Love Won’t Wait
Now I’ve Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late

He’s Out Of My Life
He’s Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Him Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
He’s Out Of My Life

Michael Jackson (R.I.P.)

[Via http://afunfair.wordpress.com]

Tradin' Ass for Asphalt

Only in the south would a man named Billie Bobbie (can’t make this stuff up, folks) offer to trade a new driveway for sexual favors. But that’s exactly what happened near me this week, when Mr. Billie Bobbie (I’m perplexed by the feminine spelling of the two names) Harrison offered to pave a young woman’s driveway in exchange for oral sex.  Gives new meaning to laying asphalt.

Mr. Harrison, no doubt a person of class and intelligence, had a friend with him at the time, which makes sense if you think about it. Anyone who has driven through a road construction zone can attest, you need one person to do the work while a few others stand around and smoke cigarettes.

Anyhoo, his victim threw up the stop sign and called the police, who arrested Mr. Harrison for whipping out his road cone.

[Via http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com]

Dianne at Mandy - Ang Sikreto ni Mandy 03 Mga Plano

Hindi rin ako matagal pang natulog. “11:35 am”, sabi ng relo pagkagising ko. Halos magda-dalawang oras na simula nang umalis si Mandy.

Matahimik pa ring nahihimbing si Dianne, may maliit na ngiti sa kanyang mala-anghel na mukha.

Maingat kong binawi ang aking brasong pinatungan n’ya ng ulo, na dahan-dahang nilapag ko sa malambot na unan. Gumawa s’ya ng isang maliit na tunog, ngunit mabuti na lang ay hindi nagising.

 

Pumunta akong kusina para gumawa ng kape at almusal. Tocino at itlog, ang paborito ni Dianne. Hindi ko mapigilang sumipol-sipol sa ganda ng aking gising. Habang nagpiprito ako’y chi-neck ko ang aking cell.

 

Nan’duon ang mga usual suspects; mga kaibiga’t kakilalang nag-uunahang mag-text ng kani-kanilang mga pagbati. Meron ding text at ilang missed calls mula sa aking mga magulang at kapatid. Napangiti ako sa iba, at nagulat rin sa ibang mga text mula sa mga taong hindi ko inaasahan. Nakuha ko na rin ang fi-norward na malalaswang litrato ni Mandy mula sa aming kakatapos lang na orgy, at tinatak sa aking isip na kailangan ko itong ilipat sa computer at burahin sa cell.

Sa lahat-lahat ay hindi kukulang sa trenta ang mga pagbati, ngunit may ilang namumukod-tangi:

 

1. May text ako galing kay Julie Arcilla, na sa apat na taon kong nakilala’y ngayon lang ako binati. “Happy birthday Maxie! May God keep you safe always! Ur a precious friend J” sabi nito. Hindi pa kami nagkikita nito simula nang mapilit kami ni Mandy na pumunta sa isa sa kanilang mga YFC meetings at napilitan akong mag-volunteer. Pinagdasal kong malilimutan na lamang niyang kakilala n’ya kami, ngunit ‘precious friend’ na pala ako sa kanya ngayon. Patay.
2. Nag-text din si Chrissy, ang nakababatang kapatid ni Mandy. Ngayon ko lang naalalang may number nga pala ako nito dahil minsang ginamit ni Mandy ang aking cell upang tawagan s’ya. “Hi kuya this is Chris is ate w/u po?” tanong nito. Kahapon pa ang text na ‘to, at malamang ay s’ya ang kausap ni Mandy kaninang umaga. Sumagot akong “Umalis sha 2 hours ago. R u ok?”, upang masigurong hindi isang peligrosong emergency ang tinakbuhan ni Mandy.
3. Mayroong picture message mula sa cell ni Lauren. Magkasama sila ni Dan sa isang Starbucks, nakangising-kabayo at may hawak na papel. “Painom ka, GAGO!” nakasulat dito, at nakangarat pa ang dalawa. Natawa ako ngunit napaisip rin; kelan pa gumimik nang magkasama ang dalawang ‘to? Miiisteryoooo. Hmmm….

Habang ako’y nagmumuni-muni sa pagpiprito ng itlog ay sumulpot si Dianne sa may pintuan.

 

“Hi cutie.” Bati niya. Tinanggal na n’ya ang kanyang kurbata at school skirt at gaya ng kanyang nakasanayan na’y pumitik na lang ng isa sa aking mga t-shirt at sinuot ito. Ngayo’y isang malaking itim na “Metallica” t-shirt ang kanyang kinuha. Naglakad s’ya patungo sa’kin at sinalubong ko s’ya ng isang akap. Napakalambot. Sinubsob n’ya ang mukha n’ya sa aking dibdib bago tumingala sa akin. “Happy Birthday” bati n’ya ulit.

 

“Thanks babe. Ok ka lang?”

 

“Mmm-hmm. Masakit lang ng konti ‘yung puwit ko bakit kaya?” palaro n’yang pinalo ang aking braso at umupo sa hapag. Umupo ako sa isa pang silya at hinaplos-haplos ang kanyang pisngi. Hinalikan n’ya ang aking kamay. Walang katumbas.

 

“So anong plano mo? Party ba tayo?” tanong n’ya.

 

“I guess. Bukas na, maski maliit lang siguro. Maski si Mands, si Dan, ‘tsaka sino ba ‘yung kaibigan mong tisay?”

 

“’Yung iskandalosang bungangera?” pangiti n’yang tanong.

 

“Oo ‘yun.”

 

“Nalimutan ko na. Pero sige, text ko.” Tumipa-tipa s’ya sa kanyang cell. “Invite ko na rin ba si Julie? Para may pray-over ka sa birthday mo?”

 

“Sige kung gusto mong grape juice ang tomahin natin.”

 

“Gusto ko ng grape juice bakit ba. So invite ko na s’ya, ha?”

 

“Gawin mo ‘yan break na tayo.” Banta ko.

 

“Ay hindi na po hindi na po sorry.” Hagikgik n’ya, ngunit “texting…Julie…sent. Ayan.” dinagdag n’ya, sabay ngiti sa akin nang parang batang mag ginawang kalokohan.

 

“Ha. Ha. Cute mo.” Maingat kong pinindot ang kanyang ilong.

 

“Alam ko. Penge food gutom na’ko.”

 

Pinaghainan ko na s’ya at agad naman n’ya itong sinalakay. Matakaw talaga ang aking girlfriend, ngunit hindi ko alam kung saan n’ya ito nilalagay dahil kahit kaila’y hindi s’ya tumataba. At wala rin akong problema dito, dahil kakaunti lang ang mas se-sexy sa isang babaeng masarap kumain.

 

Nag-vibrate ang aking cell. Sagot mula kay Chrissy.

 

“am ok po kuya thank you. Happy birthday po! ^_^” nakalagay dito. Lumingon si Di at pinakita ko ito sa kanya.

 

“Tine-text ka ni Chrissy?”

 

“Hinahanap si Mands.” Sagot ko.

 

“Parang tanga ‘yang dalawang ‘yan, parang hindi nagkikita sa bahay.” Ani Di, na umupo ng diretso sa upuan, at pagkatapos ng ilang sandaling mataimtim na meditiation, ay nagpakawala ng isang malakas na dighay. “Salamat po!” sigaw n’ya.

 

“Classy.” Biro ko.

 

“I know, right?” ayon n’ya. Iba talaga ‘pag mahal mo, kahit ano pang gawin n’ya hindi ka matu-turn off. “Oh so anong gagawin mo for today?”

 

“Ewan. Tambay lang siguro. Gusto mong makitambay? Laro tayo?” tukso ko, nag-aahas na ng isang kamay sa kanyang makinis na legs.

 

“Mmmm…” ngiti n’ya, at hinalikan ako sa labi. “Gusto ko sana, pero may meeting ako kay Sir Panopio mamaya, e.” bulong n’ya.

 

“Sigurado ka? Alam mo namang nagiging ‘creative’ ako ‘pag ganitong wala akong ibang iniisip.” Ganti ko.

 

“Ehhh.” Simangot n’ya, “Sorry babe gusto ko sana kaso kailangan ko ‘tong meeting, e.”

 

Ngumiti ako. “Hehe. Ok lang, ‘no ito naman. Sobra-sobra na nga ‘yung ginawa n’yo kanina e. Ok ‘nang nan’dito ka.” Sabi ko.

 

“Bj kita gusto mo?”

 

“Aba’y opo!” mala-kidlat kong payag.

 

“Hihihi…oh, bukaka!” hagikgik n’ya. Mabilis s’yang dumulas sa ilalim ng lamesa at sumulpot sa gitna ng aking mga binti. Muli n’yang hinila pababa ang aking jogging pants. Anak ng teteng parati na lang akong hinuhubuan J

 

Tinanggal ng morena ang aking jogging pants at brief. “Ay, malambot pa. Gising na, baby.” Lambing n’ya sa aking titi, pinipisil-pisil ito. “Ay, pakipot ka pa.” bulong n’ya, at malambot na sinubo ang aking titi.

 

Parang may salamangka ang bibig at dila ni Dianne, dahil ilang Segundo lang n’yang nilaro-laro sa kanyang mainit na dila at laway ang aking manoy ay agad na itong tumayo. “Ayaaaan.” Ngiti n’ya, sabay supsop muli.

 

Wala nang padahan-dahan ang aking girlfriend. Ubos-lakas s’yang nagsipsip-titi, at kusa pang binabara ang aking tarugo sa kanyang lalamunan.

 

“Tang inah.” Ungol ko, habang ang ulo ng aking titi ay minamasahe ng kanyang lalamunan.

 

“Waakkk…” nabilaukan s’ya, ngunit tumuloy-tuloy pa rin sa pagsalsal. Halos matanggal na ang aking titi sa lakas ng kanyang paghigop.

 

“Grrr…ang sarap, babe.” Singhal ko, habang ang kanyang malalambot na mga labi ay tinikol ang korona ng aking ari.

 

Niluwa n’ya bigla ang aking tarugo, at gamit na pampadulas ang sarili n’yang laway ay jinakol ako. “Labas naa…labas naa…baby labas mo na ‘yung milk mo para sa’kin…please? Ilabas mo lahat sa kamay ko please? Para mainom ko na…para mainom na ng puta mo please?” litanya n’ya, titig na titig sa akin, nanghahamon.

 

“Tang ina ka…ang lakas mong…mangtikol…putahhh!” napasigaw ako, at sinabuyan nga s’ya ng katas ng aking tite. Mukhang hindi inasahan ni Di na ganuon kalakas ang pagtilamsik ng aking tamod dahil nagulat s’ya nang imbes na sa kanyang naghihintay na kamay ay dumiretso sa kanyang mukha ang aking katas. Ngunit mabilis rin s’yang nakabawi, habang isa pang malakas na tilamsik ay umabot sa kanyang buhok, ang iba nama’y mapayapa at malapot na tumulo sa kanyang kamay.

 

“Hihihi…shit, grabe. Sa’n nanggaling ‘yun?” tawa n’ya, habang sinasalat sa kanyang magandang itim na buhok ang aking malapot na tamod.

 

“Hahaha…sorry, babe, meron pa pala.” Tawa ko.

 

“Sorry sorry ka d’yan, gustong-gusto mo naman akong tinatamudan sa mukha.” Tukso n’ya, patuloy na pinupunasan ang sarili, pati na ang kanyang pisngi at pilik-matang hindi rin nakaligtas sa aking pambababoy.

 

“Actually, oo nga, hehe,” ayon ko, “teka kuha kita ng tissue.”

 

Ngunit pinigilan n’ya ako. “Hindi, ‘wag na maliligo naman na ako, eh. Linisin ko lang pututoy mo teka.” At muli n’yang sinupsop ang king titi, sinasaid ang kung ano pa mang natirang tamod, bago ito masayang lumunok at tumayo. “Hihi. Sige ligo lang ako.” Hagikgik n’ya, may tamod pa sa ilong. Hinalikan n’ya ako sa pisngi at tumakbo patungo sa banyo.

 

“Sama ‘ko!” tawag ko. Dumila lang s’ya at ni-lock ang pinto.

 

Pagkatapos ay mabilis s’yang nagbihis, habang ekspertong tinataboy ang aking mapag-larong pangmomolestiya. Pagkatapos ng isang halik sa labi at pagtangging magpahatid ay lumabas na s’ya ng bahay, at ako’y naiwang mag-isa.

 

Nagtrabaho ako sandali sa aking thesis paper nang tumawag si Dan.

 

“Bro kumusta?” sagot ko.

 

“’Tol, hindi ka maniniwala kung anong nangyari kagabi.”

 

“Nag-date kayo ni Ren?”

 

“’Tol nag-de…pa’no mo nalaman?”

 

“Ti-next n’ya ko ng picture n’yo, tanga.”

 

“Ay oo nga ‘no,” natigilan s’ya, “so sa’n inuman?”

 

“Dito na lang. Alas-otso bukas.”

 

“Nice. Nice. Ano nga ba pinag-uusapan natin?”

 

“Si Ren.”

 

“Ah. Si Ren. Oo nga. Nag-date kami kagabi, ‘tol.”

 

“O sige. Balitaan mo ‘ko mamaya. Sabay na ba kayong pupunta?”

 

“Sana. Kung pumayag. Sige kita na lang.”

 

“Bye.”

 

Hanlabo talagang kausap nito minsan.

 

Halos matatapos ko na ang thesis at itinabi ito sandali. Mayroon ding isang tumpok ng mga papel katabi nito; ang mga scholarship applications na binigay sa amin ni sir Panopio. Ilang araw na rin akong nakikipagtitigan dito, parang isang gawaing hindi ko masimulan. Hindi pa naman siguradong makakapasok ako, pero minsa’y parang ayoko man lang isipin ang posibilidad na umalis ng bansa at baka mawalay kay Dianne.  Napagdesisyunan kong mag-internet na lang sandali. Binuksan ko ang aking facebook account, at bukod sa mga usual na pagbati ay mayroon din akong isang “event invitation”.

 

“BIRTHDAY NI MAXIE!” nakalagay dito. Alas-otso ng gabi sa apartment ko. Hindi na ako nagtaka nang makita ko kung sino ang pasimuno nito: “Lauren Ganda de la Rama is your friend” sinabi sa’kin ng Facebook. Hambilis namang magkalat nitong isang ‘to. Kung tutuusin lang ay bagay nga sila ni Dan, pareho silang hanlabo. At ang mas hanlabo pa, mahigit bente katao ang kanyang inimbitahan, at sampu na ang nagsabing pupunta sila.

 

Agad ko s’yang tinawagan.

 

“Hello, happy birthday!” masaya n’yang sagot, “mukhang nag-enjoy ka na masyado umagang-umaga pa lang ah!

 

“Ha?”

 

“Uh…wala. So pupunta ka ba sa birthday celebration mo?”

 

“Wow, Ren, grabe. Wow. Ang lupet mo. Nag-imbita ka ng benteng tao?”

 

“Hehehe you’re welcome. ‘Wag ka na mag-alala potluck naman, e, ‘tsaka sagot ko na ‘yung alkohol.”

 

“E ba’t ‘andami mong inimbitahan?”

 

“So huwat? Para ka namang others puro kaibigan mo naman ‘yang mga ‘yun, ‘di ba? Sina Abby, sina Julie, Pammy, Carlos, si Mark…”

 

“Teka teka, sino?”

 

“Si Carlos at si Mark? ‘Di ba barkada mo ‘yun?”

 

“Oo pero…hindi sila ‘yung…inin-vite mo si Julie?”

 

“Oo naman, ‘di ba nagbalik-loob sa diyos na kayo ni chekwa, so ininvite ko na rin. Sorry nga pala ininvite ko rin si Pammy maski ‘di kayo close, pero ayaw mo nu’n may artista sa birthday mo?”

 

“Si Pammy? Si Pamela Sandoval i-ninvite mo sa birthday ko?”

 

“Mm-hmm. You’re welcome.”

 

“Para namang walang gagawing mas maayos ‘yang mga ‘yan bukas?”

 

“Hello? Nag-confirm na kaya. Excited na nga si Julie e tinatanong kung anong klaseng juice raw ‘yung dadalhin n’ya.”

 

“Juice?”

 

Humagikgik ang tisay. “Oo, ang cute nga e. Sabi ko magdala s’ya ng grape juice. Si Pammy magdadala daw ng pasta.”

 

“Pupunta rin si Pammy?”

 

“Oo nga e ang kulit mo. You’re  welcome ulit. Alam ko namang baliw na baliw kayong mga boys ‘dun e.

 

“Wow, Ren. Wow.”

 

“Magpapasalamat ka ba o tatarayan mo lang ako? Busy rin kaya ako ‘no?”

 

“Talaga? Anong ginagawa mo?”

 

Natigilan s’ya sandali. “Uhm…nag…uh…nag-aaral ako.”

 

“…nag-aaral ka? Kaya pala nakakita ako ng puting uwak kanina.”

 

“Pak yu Max! Goodbye. Kita kita na lang mamaya.” Binagsak n’ya ang telepono.

 

Nakipagtitigan ulit ako sa scholarship papers. Pumikit ako at bumunot ng isa: “University of California Berkley” sabi nito. Sinimulan ko na itong sulatan.

[Via http://maxiemoreno.wordpress.com]

Movie: An Education

I was resistant to seeing this movie at first, since the narrative hinges on an affair between an older man and a sixteen-year-old girl. But a person for whom I have respect said it was one of the most beautiful film she had seen in years, and so I went, looking forward to the beauty.

I still respect this person. I didn’t see the beauty.

There are wonderful things about the film. Carey Mulligan certainly deserves her Oscar nomination for Best Actress for her portrayal of Jenny. She shines and beams and does a remarkable job of capturing an intense, intelligent, independent teenage girl who is chomping at the bit to get out into the world. Peter Sarsgaard should have been nominated for Best Supporting Actor: he is convincing as a seducer, a conflicted seducer who is more than a predator.

But he is a predator, and I do not find that beautiful.

Various reviewers (check out reviews of movies at mrqe.com – Movie Review Query Engine) find David, Sarsgaard’s character, to be confused and childish, and certainly Sarsgaard does a good job of playing these characteristics which contrast sharply with Jenny’s business-like attitude to losing her virginity and experiencing the world. She is seduced more by sophistication, or her perception of sophistication, than she is by love or even by attraction. But Sarsgaard’s acting is so finely nuanced that he is not just clutzy: he is a seducer of spirit and sense, seduced as much as he seduces. By the end of the movie we see that while he might be more, he is also a predator. Craven and weak and an emotional boy, but a predator.

And while I think Mulligan’s acting is excellent as well, the writing of her character might be what stops the movie short of deserving its Best Film nomination. Because she is craven too, to some degree. The life she thinks she wants – and still seems to want at the end of the movie – is based on a veneer and lacks moral conviction. The shock she receives does not mean unrequited love – it’s an interruption of her plans. A veneer is something we lay over a solid base. It cannot be a base itself. And so, although she shows courage in her teenage character by resuming pursuit of her own life (finally, it is a relief to see a story in which sex does not destroy a girl), she seems to be no different morally. I can’t give away any more. But suffice it to say that one phrase in the ending voiceover indicates that she is not much different after her experience than she was before. It’s still sophistication for the sake of sophistication for which she yearns. She hasn’t learned anywhere near as much as she thinks she has.

Involved in academics for quite a while, I have seen too much damage done in the boundary-crossing relationships between older men and female students (and older women and male students, in a couple of instances). In real life I have never seen this be a beautiful thing. I have a feeling that this movie appeals to so many because the technical and artistic aspects are top-notch (except for the writing, for which Nick Hornby has been nominated for an Oscar), and because an older man and younger girl have a sexual and sensual relationship: neither is accountable and she survives. The film displays the fantasies of a lot of older men and a lot of younger women without messy complications.  No punishment, no accountability, no loss (in the end), no moral depth, no courage of convictions.

[Via http://feast4thought.wordpress.com]