1. Why does my remote only work when I point it up and AWAY from the TV?
2. Why do so many men think ALL women are stupid? Even if stupid women outnumbered not stupid women 100 to 1, you’d think a dude would worry that he MIGHT run into that one not stupid chick.
3. Why does my coffee pot turn itself off after 2 hours? Sometimes I’d like a cup-o-sludge if I get really, really tired.
4. I stick my feet in dark, moist places for hours a day, walk on them and clean them with a rock…yet the skin on them is as taught as it was in 1974. BUT…I’m developing jowls on my face.
5. I could have bought a bunch of penny candy in 64 and sold it today for a huge profit. How would you know if one of those wax pop bottles went bad? I don’t think those dots on paper go bad either. I would think the dots would out live the actual paper to which they are stuck.
6. Why do soft cookies turn hard when they go bad while hard cookies turn soft?
7. Why in THEEEEEEE WORLD do my neighbors find me so MUCH fun to gossip about?
8. Where does a really good blow job stop and an ass licking begin?
9. Why do single men have ketchup, mustard and steak sauce…but no food to put any of it on?
10. What the heck is this world coming to? In my day any self respecting male population would have kicked Perez Hilton’s ass every single day.
How apropo, my online radio station is playing Oye Como Va…another baffling little conundrum in itself.
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