There are people who love constantly going out, being social, and don’t need a lot of time to themselves.
I am NOT one of those people.
I love my friends, and I am really, truly grateful that my social life has picked up again. That doesn’t change the fact that I am totally dead on my feet.
I have something to do every day this week. And in many ways, that’s great. I love my friends, I love seeing them, talking to them, drinking with them…but I’m exhausted. My weekend was already very busy on top of serious back pain that caused me to down like eight ibuprofen a day. I’m back to normal now (though feeling the effects of five days of pain-inspired lethargy), but I’m totally dead on my feet. I need sleep something badly.
Monday, L was still in town, and I owed an old friend a call. Tuesday, I met my friend B, and her friend for…happy hour, followed by dinner, followed by dessert. A delicious, but exhausting adventure, and so much fun.
Today, I’m supposed to see Indie IT Boy.
Tomorrow, I’m supposed to hang out with Starbuck’s Friend, but I was originally supposed to go to happy hour with my GovBud (ex-roommate who works for the government). Nick and I have plans to hang out and smoke sheesha. I have to find a way to make it clear that this is not a date.
Friday, I’m doing happy hour with my GovBud.
It’s a busy fucking week, and now it looks like it won’t be vice versa (more on that further down).
So, on Monday morning when my best friend, who flew out for my birthday and was planning on flying out on Monday, said “there’s no way I’m going to get on the flight from DC to SLC. I mean, if you want I can try to connect through New York….” my initial reaction was not good.
It was something along the lines of “it’s not that I don’t want to see you, but I’m exhausted and miss privacy.”
Excuse me while I face-palm.
I felt like such a bitch. I also didn’t have the full story (a whole bunch of flights had been cancelled out of Atlanta due to flooding, so the likelihood that she would have made it out of, oh, anywhere, was slim to none). But still. Not the best reaction. She interpreted it as me being sick of her, which of course was not true, as I was just feeling like an anti-social bitch. I love her to pieces, and if it weren’t for the fact that I have a million things going on this week, I never would have said anything. As it was, I shouldn’t have. She flew out to see me, even though she couldn’t really afford it (flying is free for her, but life in DC is expensive). She says she’s over it, but I know her better than to believe it. I’ll probably feel guilty about this one for a while.
This, combined with the fact that someone is trying to come back into my life in ways that make both of us tenuous has made me feel like one giant ball of stress. Not having any time to be by myself and think is making it worse.
To top it off, Indie IT Boy may not be coming to see me tonight. On le facebook, it says he is sick and still has to give a presentation. I hope I get to see him anyway. I think it’s turning into something, and I like that. I like him. I also need some sexual tension released. Yesterday. Of course, if he’s very sick, I’d be happy to bring him some soup or something. I’m caring! I swears! Just an idiot sometimes.
And as much as I hate to admit it…I’d also be relieved to have a day to myself, just to breathe. Breathing is good. I hear you need to do it to live.
So hopefully I won’t collasolly fuck up any more this week. Wish me luck.
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