Thursday, September 3, 2009

Hand Signals: The 10 Dirtiest Hand Gestures Of All Time

Inappropriate hand gestures have become the next generation of dirty talk between human beings. They’re a way of telling people “hey, I like to party” or “I’ve strongly considered attending a Craigslist orgy.” Dirty hand gestures are a subtle way of expressing your sexuality in public and they’re also a way of telling random people that you like glow in the dark condoms, remote-controlled panties and you often wear nipple clamps to work. Most importantly, dirty hand gestures are a way of showing random attractive people that you want to have sex with them when they’re not looking.

#10 The Wanker – The wanker is a timeless classic often used to communicate that something is lame. It’s also a way of telling your friends that you’re really attracted to a woman after she walks by you on the street.

#9 The Crotch Grab - Whether you’re publicly saying “screw you” to an authority figure or telling someone to “suck on this,” the crotch grab is a great way to express your animal dominance. It’s also the best way for hermaphrodites to cover their junk in a pinch.

#8 The Penetrator - Let’s say you spot an attractive member of the opposite sex across the bar but it’s way to crowded to make it to the other side. Well, The Penetrator allows both women and men to let their prey know that they would like to penetrate them or be penetrated… if you will.

#7 The “Up The Butt” - The UTB takes The Penetrator one step further by involving the middle finger. It’s often used by sailors, people from Germany and people with STD’s.

#6 The Shocker – Otherwise known as “two in the pink and one in the stink,” The Shocker hand gesture rose to superstardom after Dane Cook claimed he invented it. Yeah, he ripped that off too. #5 The Vagina - The vagina is a pretty straightforward form of hand communication. It’s a way of saying, “hey look, my hands just formed the shape of a vagina.”

#4 The Fister - The fister is a classic male power play move. It’s a way of informing a woman that you’re an absolute monster in the sack and your have no problem eating meat that isn’t cooked properly.



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