Why be a Lesbian Homemaker?
Because that’s pretty much how it’s always been anyway…
I had a birthday a few days ago and I’ve been busy reflecting and celebrating on pure *me-ness* for the past couple of days. Unfortunately, I can’t depend on anyone I’m related to, to actually care that I’ve survived 30 whole years on this earth. That’s quite a feat of endurance from my point of view…and I almost didn’t make it… But of course relatives can suck ass at the wrong times, and it really shouldn’t have taken 30 years for that to dawn on me. I even had a dream the morning of my birthday where I went out drinking with friends. However, upon waking up that seemed so “empty”. Better I spend the birthday with the people who actually created me, right? HA
One good thing though—and there is almost always a bright side and I can almost always be counted on to find it—is supposedly my dad got me a new cookware set for my birthday! He still has it since on my birthday he was out doing—something, somewhere, with somebody that I’m still not old enough to know about—and couldn’t get it to me.
I am a lesbian. I am a feminist. I am one of those girls who dressed in black a lot in high school (and when I was going through some “thangs” a few years ago). If I get into a fight with a man (and I have) he might beat me and over power me–but he will loose a finger, his eye ball, and his manhood in the process. I deliver a hell of a head butt too and fighting fair means “don’t fuck with me to begin with”, so sharp objects and blunt instruments are all fair game (hence the absolute joy I feel at still being here after 30 years). Yep, on the surface I’m one of “those” chicks…but–OMG!—I love to cook, I’m well trained in party decorum and formal dinner hosting and whenever I get in the mood. I visit blogs by happy Christian homemakers to get tips on doing laundry. And family management. And raising kids.
I am the dream of the patriarchy gone terribly wrong. I understand the concept of family, nurturing, building a safe/beautiful/comfortable home. I show love through food. I like to pamper my lover with words and actions. I love the idea of raising children and my spouse and I growing old together, forming a deep bond and watching our children become adults together.
But the whole husband thing? What shit sucking sadomasochist thought up that idea!?! When I was a kid I never wanted to learn to cook or do any of that stuff because my mother refused to stop mentioning these “husband” creatures. I was a comic book geek, the Asian guy who owns the comic book store near my old stomping grounds is practically an uncle to me..I had a bit of a porn addiction too. Yet, despite the overwhelming evidence of my homosexuality (lol) I was still suppose to learn to cook, clean, be pretty and lose all of that “personality” jazz so that one of these husband creatures would think I was the pride of the puppy pound, put a collar and leash on me, attach me to our (his) home where I’d pop out his children, nurture the whole lot of them, father and spawn, until they managed to suck every bit of my soul out through my nostrils. Oh, dare to dream! Can I have the sign up sheet for this?
There’s an organization out there called “Men going their own way”. Supposedly there is a group of men who decided they never want to get married because marriage is SOOO unfair to men (I mean they have to put the collar and leash on…not like us selfish gals will do it ourselves!). I will say here I completely support MGTOW. I support them so much on their nobel quest to leave women the hell alone that I would like to create and office sister organization called “Fuck You, Go Away” or FYGA . I think marriage is a GREAT idea, but having a husband? Well that just spoils it for everyone don’t it?
I don’t really believe that this homemaker/child rearing ambition of mine is something that is genetically encoded into me because I’m a woman. And I cannot –STAND–when a man treats the acts I do out of joy and love–as if it is my fucking duty to him. I do what I do for my lovers–for my family–because that’s the kind of person I am. It makes me happy to make them happy. In my first and last relationship with a man, as soon as my work went unappreciated and filtered through the male supremist, macho, bullshit of “What do you want? A prize? You’re a woman that’s what your suppose to do.” That sucker got launched with all the fire of a burning space rocket. ZOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! Life is too short to I cannot deal with that BS. I don’t know how so many women do it.
And what about this whole socks and boxers on the floor spiel? According to men if they come home from a hard days work their wives shouldn’t nag them if they drop their clothes all over the floor. Of course, these are the same assholes who wish to have “stay-at-home” wives. But if she is a stay-at-home wife then her HOME is her JOB. So for some guy to come in and just drop his crap all over the place it’s like undoing her day of work. It’s like CHRIS ROCK said in the movie “Down to Earth”.
“Bothering me on the job? Do I come to your job and bother you? Do I kick the squeegee out of your hand?”
With women it is a different story. If I do anything nice for my lesbian lovers it’s never a “she’s a woman, she’s suppose to” type of thing. There is usually some form of gratitude there and even if there isn’t (since all women are different) at least she’s lacking that whole male entitlement attitude. If I cook I do so out of love. If I just talk to you then I’m doing so out of love. Even if me and my lover have a child together (how? Pixies!) and I dote on that child and take a little attention away from her to give to that child, she will better understand that my raising our children is an act of love for her too! Men? Ask the millions of women who’s husbands abandoned them if there husbands thanked them for raising their child. Even if the father didn’t abandon them, even if there was a divorce. How many man thank the woman who is raising their children? Hell! For that matter how many married men do it?!?
I could probably go on and on about the reasons why it ROCKS to be a Lesbian Homemaker. But I do have a tendency to make insanely long post. It’s late and I want to cruise allrecipes some more before bed. Suffice it to say though it gives me much pleasure to know that I’m having my cake and eating it too. I get to be the homemaker I’ve always fantasized about, without having to suck cock to do it! Ladies and gentlemen life doesn’t get any better then this!
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